Worried about Dd being ginger in the uk

[Takestwohourstoniptotheshop]

Redhead, Golden haired…

We are moving back to the uk next year. Dd was born in the country we’re currently living in. The majority of people are dark haired, brown eyes and tanned skin.
Dd is reddy gold hair, blue eyes and fair skin. She gets attention everywhere she goes about her hair and eyes, people compliment her a lot and are very gushing about her looks, it’s lovely

My impression is that this is very different in the uk and cruelly this is used as an insult almost, is this still the case? The thought of it is heartbreaking

What do you mean

My daughter is 9 and has never had anything mean said about her hair. Most people tell her it’s beautiful, because it is. I wouldn’t worry. It definitely used to be a bad thing when I was in school but I don’t think it is as much now

I have naturally red hair. I really hate being referred to as ginger. There isn't so much stigma now in England. I was born in Scotland and have always felt more at home there and Ireland.

I’m sure it it lovely but it’s putting too much emphasis and importance on her looks and what other people think of her.

You need to teach your daughter about how it’s important what’s on the inside of people and how we treat others and being kind etc.

Looks fade, personality and morals are forever.

This is true. In some areas you'd be taking a very severe risk by insulting someone with ginger hair. I went to a Catholic school, so lots of kids of Irish decent with red/ginger hair - you didn't hear many insults there, kids wouldn't have dared! It was outside of school that it might have been commented on.

It was definitely an insult when I was teaching in a secondary school for both boys and girls. It was something we dealt with a lot re bullying.

It was a thing in the UK when I was growing up, but hasn’t been a problem for my daughter at all throughout primary. Although older ladies would definitely touch her hair without asking when she was little which did feel rather intrusive. She would have very cute toddler rants about it.

Schools are so big on inclusion and not pointing out differences.

Also, she always got to play Anna in Frozen games by default!

We are Greater London area and her school is nicely mixed. I don’t know if that helps. The school certainly wouldn’t stand for any bullying based on hair or skin colour.

Don't be ridiculous. Red/gold hair is much admired here. Scotland is awash with red heads, of all shades.
You're over thinking this.

I am sure it is lovely , and if course you wouldn't want her to hear insults , but it would be also good for your DD, and you, not to measure her value by her looks .

When people are saying issues in the UK, do you mean England?

I very much hope that things have changed. I was a redhead with freckles( now at 61 it's mostly white) and was called carrot top, gingernut etc as a child, as an older teenager and young woman men would think it was perfectly ok to come up to me in a pub and ask if my collar matched my cuffs, and men would think it was fine to say in front of me that they'd never go out with a ginger woman. I was the child of a red haired father so he knew what it was like. Luckily my late husband( dark hair) didn't think in that way. I actually always loved my hair colour and dyed it for years when I started to go grey.
But I was glad that my children had brown hair, although my son does have a ginger beard and that doesn't seem to attract comment.

Similar experiences here as a fellow ginger. "Ginger pubes" was a regular slur to me at high school. I probably felt a bit self conscious about my hair as a result but like you, don't remember ever taking it that personally.

I used to get loads of compliments from "old people" and now in my 30s I look at children with ginger hair and just think how beautiful it is! She will probably still get lots of compliments.

It's an interesting lovely color for hair. Everyone is blonde or brown/ black ( I'm brunette btw)

Ok so that's just something I'd tell my daughter if she received the 1st shitty comment from ignorant people to cheer her up.

Similar experiences here as a fellow ginger. "Ginger pubes" was a regular slur to me at high school. I probably felt a bit self conscious about my hair as a result but like you, don't remember ever taking it that personally.

I used to get loads of compliments from "old people" and now in my 30s I look at children with ginger hair and just think how beautiful it is! She will probably still get lots of compliments.

I think it's probably sensible to be aware that there may well be some comments at some point but don't over think it.
I have had a range of negative comments over the years, but also plenty of positive ones. I was bullied at school and having red hair was a real part of that but being clever was by far my biggest crime. Being short, wearing glasses and not being any good at hockey or netball were all significant factors too.
Bullies will bully, and anything "different" will be a target unfortunately. Anti redhead attitudes do still exist I'm afraid. I grew up somewhere that historically had a lot of Irish immigrants and I think the bullying of redheads is probably rooted in anti Irish sentiment, whether people realise that today or not. I suspect that that's a contributory factor to why there's regional variation. One of my DS's has red hair and was picked on as a result a little as a child, but it's less prevalent where we live now than where I grew up and it was more of a mild irritation than a big problem. Now he's at University in Scotland nobody ever mentions his hair other than occasionally someone expresses surprise when they realise he is English.
I think people are being a bit naive in telling you that it doesn't happen or isn't a thing any more but equally it's unlikely to actually blight your DD's life.

Are you sure? Because it was very much a thing when I was at school and people were brutal.

My dad was red haired and two of my brothers are. DD6 is a carrot top as well. She gets the odd comment from little snot rags, but she’s not phased. Her grandad has given her some great (all be it pretty inappropriate) comebacks.

Kids will pick on kids for all sorts of reasons, I was speccy, scrawny, had massive frizzy hair so I remember it well. Most kids will get teased to some degree for something, you just need to teach them how to handle it.

Never had a single negative comment about my red hair, and I grew up in the unreconstructed 80s.

Not to dismiss other’s experiences but I’ve only ever had compliments. Ditto my even ginger-er sister.

I love red hair! My husband is a ginger and I really hoped our baby would be but so far she isn’t.

I understand wanting to protect your child from arseholes, I think the majority of people aren’t going to bully or even mention your child’s hair colour in a negative way. At some point, like everyone else, she’s going to come up against someone at some point in her life who will use any given reason to pick on her. It happens to basically everyone. The best thing you can do for her is to teach her from very young that the opinions of people like that aren’t worth paying attention to and she should love herself for who she is.

I’m ginger and have 4 ginger children. I had a couple of comments at primary school and my eldest son had someone say something unkind once a couple of years ago, but nothing particularly serious. It does probably depend where you are moving to - the demographic of the school etc. Children will pick on anything to be mean about - as parents we can just try to instill in our own children a sense of confidence and identity that goes beyond their looks. If she knows she’s unconditionally loved and that has nothing to do with her hair, she’ll be less likely to take any comments to heart.

I noticed it was a bit of a thing in dd’s year, in the 2010s. Several girls had red hair in the class and there was a phase where a couple dyed their hair brown sadly.

Do you have red hair?

Because I do, and I'm 40, and I had a hard time growing up in the 90s with constant remarks about my hair. So did the other red haired people in my school and I've had many conversations over the years that have confirmed mine wasn't a unique experience.

I'm now a teacher and I'm pleased to report that I haven't heard any negative comments towards the (very few!) red haired children in the school I work in. I'm hoping that means that attitudes have changed.

I had both my children in Australia where this is also a thing (possibly regional). My kids are blonde but my son had beautiful red hair as a baby. I remember at a mums group when he was a few months old saying "I think he's going to have hair like mine" and all the mums immediately jumping in to say "nooo" in reassuring tones, as though I'd predicted the absolute worst for him!

My little girl has the same colouring as yours and she gets the same positive attention you describe, here in the UK. I think it's more of an issue for red haired boys at school than girls, but it does seem to be dying out altogether now, perhaps a result of more diversity overall, anyway it's a good thing.

My mum and sister are redheads and both got tortured throughout school but this was the 50s and 70s/80s so hopefully things have changed.