Worried about Dd being ginger in the uk

[Takestwohourstoniptotheshop]

Redhead, Golden haired…

We are moving back to the uk next year. Dd was born in the country we’re currently living in. The majority of people are dark haired, brown eyes and tanned skin.
Dd is reddy gold hair, blue eyes and fair skin. She gets attention everywhere she goes about her hair and eyes, people compliment her a lot and are very gushing about her looks, it’s lovely

My impression is that this is very different in the uk and cruelly this is used as an insult almost, is this still the case? The thought of it is heartbreaking

Of course she wasn't right.

The ginger kids (and teens) in my family were bullied because they were different.

Kids get bullied for all sorts of reasons such as having SEN, a stutter, wearing glasses, being fat, being tall, being short.

It's not down to jealousy, it's down to nastiness.

And very few people dye their hair, eyebrows and eyelashes orange.

Hence the popularity of actual red hair dyes.

I think that’s variable between redheads. I don’t have orange eyelashes or eyebrows but I’m very definitely a redhead! Mine are more blonde, like my arm hair

But that's another thing I've never understood.

Being Irish, I've grown up with and am related to lots of ginger people.

Ginger = Orange

Red = Red

People don't tend to have actual red hair (unless dyed) and I've never known the small number who do, to be bullied.

So far on this thread we've had 'red', 'copper', 'golden' etc.

It's orange hair that kids were bullied for when I grew up - like Ed Sheeran.

Nailed it. Her first post drips with stage mother vibes, she loves her child standing out, getting attention from strange adults and is worried she will blend into the background in the UK - which she will.

Three possibilities - the kid grows up to think her looks are all that matters, has a huge ego, and is really unlikeable. Later, when she ages and had built her whole sense of self around her looks, she is crushed.

Or, the kid is so humiliated by her wanna be stage mother she becomes super self conscious and grows up with all kind of self worth issues.

Or, her kid grows up to be super ordinary and realises her mother liked her far better when people "gushed" over her looks and yearns for the childhood looks her mother judged acceptable.

A mother so fixated on her child's looks to the point where she wants to be reassured that she will still be "gushed" over by adults is frankly fucking weird, and there are no good outcomes from this.

And I never knew a single person who was bullied for having red hair. Ever. Some gingers with that wiry ginger hair got slagged off a bit, mainly on TV shows.

Well I do. This is a really weird post in all aspects.

I have never known anyone with red hair being bullied in the UK. I think it's a myth especially these days and if you are living in a big town or city

the thing is, I was brought up thinking my red hair was a GOOD thing - half my family had red hair, grandmas and aunties were always cooing over our 'lovely auburn curls', lots of memories of 'ooh, your dad's hair was like a copper penny when he was little'. I don't remember being teased, but maybe that's because it would have gone straight over my head (so to speak) - why should I feel bad about something I'd always liked?

Mean kids will always try to find something to be mean about, and will keep jabbing away until they find a weakness that gets a defensive reaction. Whatever your DD feels sensitive about - her 'different' accent, the fact that she's new, the shoes she's not quite sure are right - that'll be the thing she's teased for. Not necessarily her hair, if she's confident that red hair is something to be happy about.

My 7 yr old DD has red hair, like a dark strawberry blonde, there’s a few redheads in her class ranging from her colour to ginger, we’re in Scotland though so I don’t think it stands out much. She has bright blue eyes too so often gets comments from older ladies, especially at the tills. I think it very much depends on where you are and how common it is tbh. I don’t think it’s as bad as when I was at school though.

My mum used to think I was making up being bullied for having ginger hair too, until she witnessed an adult man get in my face and shout ‘ginger freak’ and walk off laughing when I was about 16. It’s not a myth, it ruined my childhood.

It sounds like you already build your child up in other ways so that they are confident. I think what bullies seem to do is find a weakness and focus on that... If they find a weak spot and ginger hair as well I think it becomes a focus...
Unfortunately for a child near me at secondary school was bullied to the point where boys set her hair on fire in the science lab... apparently they thought her hair was the same colour.... Absolutely awful. She is a very kind, caring girl and had glasses and gorgeous ginger hair... But I guess was also quite shy... So sad what some kids do to others and what seems to happen when teachers are supposed to be in charge.

This, I had all of this except the midwife comment and it really made me hate my pale skin and red hair. I'm not even "proper" red hair ginger. It's browny, blonde, gingery - not sure how to explain 😅 depends on the lighting and how I'm wearing it on what colour it looks...

Anyway, the girl at my school with proper red hair didn't get bullied and taunted the way I did because she was popular. I hated my hair colour so much that I dyed it jet black and I did that from about 12/13 to 24 and then I thought "fuck it, I CBA dyeing it". I cut my own hair mostly but when I do go to hairdressers they always say my hair is a lovely colour which is nice...

But I'll always have those horrible comments, shouting from cars - I was even spat on once from a car after they shouted something about my hair, I went home crying to my mother who told me to "grow up and stop being stupid" - in the back of my mind. There are some really horrible, disgusting people around.

OP, some people will probably be horrible but others will be nice. Bullying shouldn't be tolerated but maybe prepare her for what she might encounter - comments etc and just assure her that her hair is beautiful and people pay loads of money to look like a natural redhead these days. People saying mean things are just mean people and their comments don't mean anything.

Nor do i, OP.

Sadly, judging from this boy’s accent, it isn’t just the UK.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oPuhVYamSBo

Bad language warning

Parent of a ginger child here. Gets loads of compliments and never had an issue. Her friends have tried to dye their hair to get the same colour!

It’s in Ireland too ironically as we have one of the highest instances of red hair per population!

I disagree actually. I think it is helpful to consider that being praised for one’s looks, especially at an impressionable young age, may be as damaging as being teased.

Quite! 😂

Do you have red hair Pinty?

Oh that's good to know. I guess I must have just misheard the group of lovely young men who were trying to attract my attention in Liverpool last Saturday. It sounded like they were yelling "Fuck off ginger cunt" but obviously they can't have been since it's a myth and these things never happen. My bad. 🙄

Sorry that happened to you but if it wasn't ginger hair it would have likely been something else.
"Oi Blonde Bimbo"
"Hey Baldy"
"Specky"
"Fatty"
"Lard arse"
"Midget" (I get that one cos I'm only 5 foot)
and others which are worse and I won't type them.
Unfortunately - some people are horrible name callers.
I find it's best to ignore them.

Heaven forfend anyone should be told that they look nice

Right.

Oh my goodness you definitely don’t have red hair ! To equate being called a blonde bimbo to the prejudice experienced by many redheads just shows your ignorance.

Yes, I'm old enough and bright enough to have figured that out myself thanks. I'm also under 5ft and wear glasses so I'm quite familiar with other insults too. But the point is that multiple people on this thread are denying that "gingerism" exists, despite the comments of people who have personal experience of the fact that it does. I've had red hair for the best part of 60 years and I learned to ignore comments about my colouring a very long time ago. But I'm pretty sure I haven't been imagining them.

Well I would have typed one of the other insults I hear but my post would probably get deleted.
I was just saying that some people will use anything related to someone as an insult if they want to insult someone.