Page 10 | Worried about Dd being ginger in the uk

Takestwohourstoniptotheshop · 2025-07-09T13:47:22+00:00

Redhead, Golden haired… We are moving back to the uk next year. Dd was born in the country we’re currently living in. The majority of people are dark haired, brown eyes and tanned skin. Dd is reddy gold hair, blue eyes and fair skin. She gets attention everywhere she goes about her hair and eyes, people compliment her a lot and are very gushing about her looks, it’s lovely My impression is that this is very different in the uk and cruelly this is used as an insult almost, is this still the case? The thought of it is heartbreaking

FluffPiece · 10/07/2025 08:02

I have red hair and so does my DS. Nobody has ever said anything negative about it to either of us.

Dwimmer · 10/07/2025 08:18

My friends DD is a platinum blonde in a country where everyone has dark hair and skin tone. As a young child she got lots of compliments. As a teenager she got followed by men. It changed from being lovely to being very frightening. She dyed her hair dark then the family decided they had to move back to the uk.

mambojambodothetango · 10/07/2025 08:21

I think this kind of name calling went out with the more open minded generation at school these days.

Wilfrida1 · 10/07/2025 08:34

Having read the replies, and being so horrified that your worst fears may come true, will you reconsider your move to the UK?

Every child gets teased about something, or name called. It's not right, it's not fair, and I wish it didn't happen, but it's a fact of life. As a parent I taught my children NOT to behave like this, and built up their self confidence and resilience so they could deal with it and cope when it happened to them. It has stood them in good stead as they have grown up, far more than bewailing how unkind another child is, it's bullying, etc, etc.

KellySeveride · 10/07/2025 08:52

OneKookyWasp · 10/07/2025 01:49

I've not RTFT so, in my experience and without meaning to diminish anyone else's:

Girls with red hair can reasonably expect to receive unkind comments during and throughout their childhood.

Boys with red hair can have a far more negative experience, may fall victim to bullying, and prejudice against them is lilely to persist, to some degree, into adulthood (even if it isnt directly expresses to them). That said, it's not to the same extent of your average "ism" or "phobia". Probably a little milder, in terms of harm, than "fat-phobia".

Edited

This is bullshit.

I have 2 ginger sons and a ginger daughter. Pic of one son’s hair uploaded last night (so you can see it’s long and curly too).

My DD is probably the one who has had the most ribbing for her hair, and even then it was mild-not at all what you’d class as bullying. The boys get very little other than jokes about staying out the sun on hot days and that’s only from their friends whom I’m sure get it back about their own features (very much in a banter way).

To point out for reference they go to a state school in a pretty deprived area…we are not affluent. So it’s not like they’re not experiencing it because we are at private school or anything!

TheignT · 10/07/2025 08:53

Wilfrida1 · 10/07/2025 08:34

Having read the replies, and being so horrified that your worst fears may come true, will you reconsider your move to the UK?

Every child gets teased about something, or name called. It's not right, it's not fair, and I wish it didn't happen, but it's a fact of life. As a parent I taught my children NOT to behave like this, and built up their self confidence and resilience so they could deal with it and cope when it happened to them. It has stood them in good stead as they have grown up, far more than bewailing how unkind another child is, it's bullying, etc, etc.

It doesn't happen to every child. I have 4 and 2 never got teased, one did mildly, one got bullied mercilessly to the point they said they'd rather die than go back into school. If you haven't experienced that you are lucky and have no idea.

Original poster

Takestwohourstoniptotheshop · 10/07/2025 08:59

ClareBlue · 09/07/2025 23:26

OK, write a book about the experience, but try to stick to some resemblance of truth.

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? What do you mean?

OP posts:

OneKookyWasp · 10/07/2025 09:00

KellySeveride · 10/07/2025 08:52

This is bullshit.

I have 2 ginger sons and a ginger daughter. Pic of one son’s hair uploaded last night (so you can see it’s long and curly too).

My DD is probably the one who has had the most ribbing for her hair, and even then it was mild-not at all what you’d class as bullying. The boys get very little other than jokes about staying out the sun on hot days and that’s only from their friends whom I’m sure get it back about their own features (very much in a banter way).

To point out for reference they go to a state school in a pretty deprived area…we are not affluent. So it’s not like they’re not experiencing it because we are at private school or anything!

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It's almost as if different people can have different experiences.

Which I think was reflected in my use of the word "can"...

bluebellinthewood · 10/07/2025 09:10

Please don't worry. My 7 year old Son has blue eyes, pale skin and blue eyes and he's gorgeous. (have to be much more cautious of the sun tho).

There is no end of famous people rocking red hair now and it's not like when I was a kid in the 90's - kids always got picked on.

Red hair is fabulous. Different is good.

bluebellinthewood · 10/07/2025 09:12

Meant red hair, pale skin and blue eyes 😂

BuildbyNumbere · 10/07/2025 09:17

Seriously? 🤣🤣 No. your daughter will not get attention for this either way, bullied or thought “special”. Plenty of people are like this.

Glowingup · 10/07/2025 09:17

Soontobe60 · 10/07/2025 07:14

Assume you work in a school - if any pupil, of any age, asks a teacher about the colour of their pubic hair they would be hauled straight to the Head to get a rollicking about misogynistic behaviour. It certainly wouldn’t happen more than once.

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I think she might have meant when she was at school, not that she is a teacher where boys ask her about her pubic hair 😂

BuildbyNumbere · 10/07/2025 09:18

Bigi · 09/07/2025 14:49

Probably do her good not to be fawned over wherever she goes

Sounds like that’s what the OP is most concerned about. Hard for her to take that no one will care 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

peanutbuttertoasty · 10/07/2025 09:21

All these people are saying it’s not an issue, I’m not sure which planet they’re on. Every single red haired child I went to school with got bullied for it to some degree, even if it was on the milder end of gentle ribbing. And I went to a nice school. Worse for boys. Lots of the girls ended up dying their hair which is really sad. It definitely not a neutral thing. My DS has red hair and it gets SO much attention everywhere. I actually wish it didn’t because it creates some sort of distorted identity about the whole thing. It’s just hair! I can’t think of any other babies whose hair gets made their entire personality by repeated comments from strangers, even if it is complimentary. He’s had the odd abusive comment from adult strangers which is really upsetting. One random Asian man walking past hurled a load of vitriol - at my two year old child! That was pretty upsetting. There was real violence in his voice. Other strangers have shouted stupid comments about ed sheeran etc etc. it’s really pathetic. I’m hoping times have changed but I’m not sure they have. Changing demographics in the UK probably make it even rarer (I’m in England). Hasn’t Sophie Ellis bextor talked about her 5 ginger sons getting bullied?

fredscat · 10/07/2025 09:29

TheignT · 09/07/2025 15:01

Look at threads about Prince Harry, ginger is frequently used as an insult.

I'm no longer a red head but definitely had the teasing and rude names when I was younger. I never quite understood the fascination people seemed to have about ginger pubic hair and was told many times that someone couldn't have sex with someone with ginger pubic hair. My normal reply was you should be so lucky.

I do think it can vary, really orange ginger hair lots of insults, golden hair much less likely.

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I was just going to post that. its often used as an insult about him on here.

zingally · 10/07/2025 09:30

No. Red hair is thought to be lovely, although (perhaps luckily for you) a lot more so on girls than boys. And it's only ever if it's really carrot-orange do kids very occasionally take the mick, but it sounds like that isn't your girls shade.

It more sounds like it will do your DD to not be fawned over for her hair colour. Tons of people here have hair in shades of red, and it's not a big deal.

Of all the things to worry about, this is pretty low on the list.

LadyCrumb · 10/07/2025 09:58

Phlfz · 09/07/2025 15:50

I was in a normal state school in the 00s and I got a lot of negative comments about being ginger. Lots of ginger minger, ginge minge, what colour are your pubes, ew ginger etc etc... not only from other kids (which was daily) but also men shouting it out of cars and vans. This would cause me to blush and with such pale skin I'd go bright red which would then also be commented on in a negative way. Pale skin was also very not in fashion back then.. as in everyone was getting fake tans and wearing foundation darker than their skin tone. I basically grew up thinking I was disgusting looking and hated my appearance. I used to beg my parents to let me dye my hair blonde.

Anyway once I left school the comments decreased (except from random men in the street which continued) and now I'm older it's entirely stopped.. although actually some young school age boys did shout ginger at me the other day!

I think being pale and ginger is definitely more in fashion now, more people dye their hair red and I think you definitely see gingers on adverts etc now. So I'd hope it's not such a bit thing.

Edited

This was my experience too 😞

I'm very heartened to hear most people saying that it doesn’t happen now though, so am sure you’ll be fine OP. Can totally see why you’d worry.

Needmorelego · 10/07/2025 10:08

fredscat · 10/07/2025 09:29

I was just going to post that. its often used as an insult about him on here.

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Yes but people also use baldness as an excuse to take the piss out of Prince William 🤔

cadburyegg · 10/07/2025 10:34

The irony of people saying “it’s not a thing” on a thread filled with people sharing their experiences of it being a thing! Lucky you if you haven’t experienced it I guess but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

I’m a redhead and I’ve had a generous smattering of insults over the years but it’s much less so since I’ve got older. I think bullying is dealt with better these days in schools. Certainly the state school my kids go to have dealt with it better than the private school I went to!

OP all you can do is tell her how lovely her hair is and if she gets any grief at school, to notify them accordingly. My children aren’t redheads but my youngest is quite small for his age so some kids have picked up on that. Anything that is remotely different, unfortunately means it’s more likely for them to receive negative comments.

ClareBlue · 10/07/2025 10:35

beetr00 · 09/07/2025 23:40

@ClareBlue

you've lost me there, what do you mean?

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There's another thread at 4000 posts about someone writing a book about walking around Cornwall, but it seems that their recollections are not completely trueful 😂

Glowingup · 10/07/2025 11:06

Of course it’s a thing. I refuse to believe that society has suddenly become uber tolerant and stamped out bullying in the past couple of decades because when I was at school the bullying of red haired children was merciless. It was only in 2013 that Katie Hopkins said ginger babies are so much harder to love. And there’s threads on here about people worried their baby will turn out ginger. I am very surprised at those who have said that they have never had a bad word said about it. In my experience the bullying truly starts at secondary level so it might be that in primary school you’ve managed to escape it so far. But it is a thing.

miraxxx · 10/07/2025 11:52

WednesburyUnreasonable · 10/07/2025 07:18

FWIW, I agree [edit: with the poster I tried and failed to quote, about how awkward being ‘fawned over’ abroad can be]

I am half-Lebanese, half-Scottish. I have dark hair - my brother had very bright blond curly hair as a child. We are both pale and have grey eyes. None of these things are hugely rare in Lebanon, but they also aren’t the norm in the way they are in Scotland.

Older people in Lebanon - random strangers! - would constantly carp on about our colouring, especially my brother’s, in comparison to fully-Lebanese family members of a similar age who had black hair and brown eyes. The comments people would make about my brother’s hair were off-the-charts fawning - an angel, a prince, a movie star! It was uncomfortable, particularly once you hit the age where you are old enough to understand some of the social history behind these comments. And Lebanon is far from the worst for this kind of thing.

(Also, sometimes people would touch his hair in the street (although Italy were the absolute worst menaces for this), which he didn’t like!)

We were only ever visiting, but we still talk about it now. God knows how all-pervasive it would have been if we’d lived there.

Anyway, to answer OP - popular red heads at my school in Scotland in the late 90s / early 00s didn’t get bullied about their hair. Unpopular ones had it added to the list. Similar to glasses or braces, in that respect.

Edited

I am glad that you mentioned this experience. It is incredibly common in Asia and many don't seem to realise it.

miraxxx · 10/07/2025 11:53

Glowingup · 10/07/2025 11:06

Of course it’s a thing. I refuse to believe that society has suddenly become uber tolerant and stamped out bullying in the past couple of decades because when I was at school the bullying of red haired children was merciless. It was only in 2013 that Katie Hopkins said ginger babies are so much harder to love. And there’s threads on here about people worried their baby will turn out ginger. I am very surprised at those who have said that they have never had a bad word said about it. In my experience the bullying truly starts at secondary level so it might be that in primary school you’ve managed to escape it so far. But it is a thing.

Yeah, there seems to be enough evidence presented on this thread itself.

madamovaries · 10/07/2025 13:37

I think in the UK - with a couple of notable exceptions - it is now harder to be male and “ginger”. Some of the most beautiful women in the world have red hair - julianne Moore, Jessica Chastain, Christina Hendricks etc etc

Anotherheatwave · 10/07/2025 15:22

As a teacher it’s always been an issue for both girls and boys in the schools I have worked in (three major cities in the UK.)

I remember ringing the mother of a boy who had been name calling a lovely quiet red headed girl. The mother was horrified and said she didn’t know why he would do it as she and her husband were both red-haired themselves.