Worried about Dd being ginger in the uk

[Takestwohourstoniptotheshop]

Redhead, Golden haired…

We are moving back to the uk next year. Dd was born in the country we’re currently living in. The majority of people are dark haired, brown eyes and tanned skin.
Dd is reddy gold hair, blue eyes and fair skin. She gets attention everywhere she goes about her hair and eyes, people compliment her a lot and are very gushing about her looks, it’s lovely

My impression is that this is very different in the uk and cruelly this is used as an insult almost, is this still the case? The thought of it is heartbreaking

@glowingup Thank you. Bonkers to see it being completely refuted.

There's an interview by Amelia Dimoldenburg of Chicken Shop Dates fame. She'd dyed her hair a gingery shade as, agreed, lots of grown ups do. She asked Ed Sheeran if he liked her hair and he just wryly responded "How was your primary school experience?" That sums it up for me. Adults may pay hundreds of pounds to look like Julienne Moore but kids are fucking mean about it. Better than they were in the 1990s, but fucking mean.

This NPower advert came out in 2000 with the tagline "There are some things in life you can't choose". How do I remember? Because I was in Year fucking Six and it was BRUTAL.

DS has gorgeous dark ginger hair, brown eyes and he tans. Interesting combination, and when he grows a beard looks like a very handsome Viking. But was bullied at school. By the usual idiots rather than in a wholesale manner, but still.
A generation before that my red haired blue eyed and freckle skinned sister was bullied far worse.

its a thing. And apparently quite acceptable.

I heard a radio DJ make snide comments about red haired people quite recently.

I wish people
wouldn't deny it happens because it really does

Yeah I remember that advert. Also people used to make jokes at the time (in secondary school) about how they’d be gutted if their kid was “a ginge” and how they’d have an abortion if they knew their child would be ginger. It’s immaterial that some adult women dye their hair red. Also the anti redhead sentiment is nowhere near as strong in the US - they don’t use the term ginger. It’s something specific to the UK for some reason.
Lots of people also talk about how Prince Harry is hot “despite being ginger”.

right well you actually don’t know anything about where I’ve lived but sure. And you only prove that people want to be what they aren’t. In the uk girls are all aspiring to have dark skin and figures like curvy Latina/black women when that’s not a typical European white girl figure and people are getting painful unsafe surgeries and injections to look like something they can’t be. I mean ffs look at white women ages 18-30ish in uk right now! Their lips are swollen with toxic injections for example - theres an entire TikTok thing about how disgusting “thin lips” are. It’s gross. Younger kids are into K-pop and are trying to look like they’re idols. But that’s not the fault of black women with big lips. Or the artists that happen to look the way they look naturally. In s Korea among some people theres a crazy thing about white babies having “desirable” head shapes but that isn’t white peoples’ fault is it? A lot lies with the media. A lot lies with make up companies, plastic surgeons. And generally the strange human psychological issue that we all wish we looked different and pursue something that isn’t ‘us’. I just think this misplaced idea that it’s only white people who are the “beauty standard” is shit. And it’s always put out there like white people as some sort of collective, encourage this and are responsible for plotting to get the world to want to look like a white person. It’s just so weird and untrue and if you are white and blonde and slim you will find that you aren’t actually fitting the standard either! It’s all stupidity frankly

Yes sure 👍

Insensitive or what

My boy has red, golden, copper hair he gets compliments all the time, strangers say how amazing his hair is. He's nearly 5 and no one has said anything bad about his hair. Honestly don't worry about it.

My mother always told me that if anyone commented on my hair that they were jealous. I don't know if they were really but when I got older I noticed how many women had obviously dyed red hair so maybe she was right.

Yep it definitely seems to be the. Uk, no idea why, no other countries are arsed about it or they actually really like it

You seem to think it’s a thing though. ‘We’ve only ever built her up’. It’s hair colour. Why does she need building up about it? You seem to be worried because you have some negative feelings yourself.

The OP seems to only want to focus on posts from people sharing their experiences of it being a thing, though, and is completely ignoring those that don't support her imagined negative reactions.

She certainly seems to want her daughter to continue to be thought of as special

The OP seems to only want to focus on posts from people sharing their experiences of it being a thing, though,
Well - yes, obviously. Because if it wasnt "a thing" people wouldn't have those experiences.

There is a ginger streak in my genealogy that pops up now and then...But, we just laugh about it. I am reminded strongly of this brilliant song by Tim Minchin...

Just honest.

If your child is one of only a tiny fraction of people in a country having a certain physical characteristic, "celebrating their difference" is a reasonable thing for a parent to do.

Same! Except husband is Asian, I grew up being one of four gingers in a large predominantly (99.9%) white high school and the bullying was relentless. A male teacher asked if it matched downstairs (definitely was a p**do), and another who took great pleasure in calling me ginge in a horrible tone to shame me in front of the class at every opportunity (I had family members he didn’t like who had been through school before me). Over 20 years on I still remember how the whole class laughing at me egged him on even more. When I told my husband he huffed that it was nothing comparable to his experiences because I was never physically attacked or told to go back to where I came from at every opportunity. In hindsight witnessing comments still made to him today I do understand his feelings of them not being comparable so I’m not going to argue with him over it.
The buses were scarce where we lived so were always full and there were so many times I had things thrown at me, my bag stolen, and relentless insults shouted throughout the whole journey which was often an hour each time… karma though because half of those twats now have ginger children 😅

OP - I genuinely don’t think it is a thing now as other 80s/90s/2000’s fellow gingers have said. There were a lot less things people hated back then that people have turned their attention to (rightly or wrongly) and in our digital world there are so many famous gingers. Back then it was literally just Bianca from Eastenders!

But she seems to be paying no attention whatsoever to the positive comments, lots of which are from redheads about their own or their dc's experiences, she is picking up on those that support her imaginary thinking that her dd would be in for a hard time of it if she moved to the UK.

Lots and lots of pp have posted words of positivity and encouragement and she seems to be ignoring that, and instead is focusing on some perceived slights that her daughter may or may not be subjected to.

She seems to me to be cherry-picking the negative stuff so she can go 'see?! my poor dd would not only no longer be special, but she'd be horribly bullied because of her hair colour.'

You see it here on MN all the time, OPs who don't seem to want a debate or discussion with input from all angles, they just want validation and support for their narrative.

As a ginger haired mum of 2 ginger children I can tell you to expect some lovely comments just like you have been getting but some bullying from children. It’s awful 😣

Me neither . I’d have complained.

The people without red hair who say it’s not a thing or it’s not important have not got a clue. However it’s the people with red hair who have red haired children who are saying they have never had a comment made to them in their lives who I find hard to believe.

I'm a Dad to two redheads and go with the response when Tormund Giantsbane responded to Sandor Clegane "Gingers are beautiful, we are touched by fire."

Both DD and DS have had some twats doing the "hur hur you're ginger" thing but they've rrsponded with "thanks. I love my red hair" from DD and "Yes... And?" from DS. Because they clearly didnt give a shit the bellends in question looked a bit awkward and went away.

I think my husband had it worse in the 60s and 70s but it's been a long time since I've heard negative comments to him, although our neighbours weren't welcoming when we moved in but they never actually said anything. Racist comments aren't acceptable to most people but nasty comments and teasing is fine for red heads so people do it.

It was a thing when I was at school in the 80’s and 90’s. Absolutely relentless.

I am incredibly relieved my kids haven’t inherited my hair. I dye mine so most people have no idea.

Usually it's adults getting the insults about baldness which is different to red hair when it is often aimed at children.

I’ve been a teacher for 30 years and I’ve never heard it being an issue. It was for my carrot-top brothers in the 70s!

As a fellow ginger who has a mini ginge, everyone compliments my toddler. I had issues in high school but that was 20 years ago and now everyone wants to be ginger