Nearly 18 year old won’t look after Ddog whilst DH and I go away

[NormalSunday]

DH and I want to go away for our big wedding anniversary, asked our 17 year old (nearly 18) if they wanted to come. They weren’t keen and would prefer to go to the snow with mates later in the year.
So we’ve started to make plans, now they are saying they don’t think they can look after Ddog because is too tying, and that a kennel would be better, means they’ll miss out on social events and overtime at work if they need to be back to walk her etc (noting they never do overtime at their part time job currently)
AIBU to think they are taking the piss and at nearly an adult should be helping with our family dog, not sacking her off to kennels (which she’s never been in) then still expecting us to fund the trip for them in exchange for our holiday!

He’s dropped you right in it here OP hasn’t he, I’d be furious too. I think you just need to tell him he doesn’t have a weekend camping, because he’s at home looking after the dog, as agreed before you booked your holiday.

What would happen if you just went on holiday and left him to it? I’m assuming he’s not so cruel as to actually disappear off camping leaving the dog alone? I think I might offer to pay him (we pay £20 a day for our cat sitter to come in twice a day when we’re on holiday), maybe you could pay him £10 a day given he doesn’t have to travel anywhere? Obviously you shouldn’t have to, but it might be the easiest way to get him on board and for you to be able to enjoy your holiday?

I would be too.

Hope you address help/funds that you give him when you come back

Can you get a dog walker in rather than use kennels? Or find one that has them at home rather than kennels? We have several like that where I live. The dogs have a whale of a time!

Oh wow yes that’s genuinely rubbish of him. Have you tried the being disappointed in him route as opposed to the angry one ?

As a reluctant dog owner I can see both sides. It is a huge tie and does stop you from doing things you want to.

Well dogs are a bind but it depends on the dog. Our family dog had two walks a day. About an hour in the morning and again in the afternoon/evening. He only went in the garden if we were out there.
So two hours out of your DCs day plus a bit of feeding time is not a massive ask. Still plenty of time for working/ going out. But if your dog is used to company all day and your DC won't be there then kennels or dog sitter might be better.
Don't pay for their holiday either. Why would you? They're almost 18 and working (and sounds like they can do overtime) so they can pay for it themselves.

Have you looked at rover.com app? Plenty of dog sitters have dogs in thier own homes whilst owners go on holiday.

Ive been doing this for three years, and now have a regular spaniel only who’s really part of the family, framed pics of her and kids in house, she’s even been on holidays and weekends away with me and the kids when her owners away. We love her to bits.

Not cheap though - as others suggest, recoup the costs from the ski trip.

If you’re in Hampshire, I’ll have your dog!

I was of two minds before but at this point I would defo be leaving DS to fund his own holiday. Even if you could easily afford to do so. He is old enough that family responsibilities both ways or get pared back.

PS I could understand if auxiliary help were needed. But this is absurd

The main restriction is the inability to go away overnight and the restrictions on spontaneity caused by having to work to feeding, toileting and walking.

Definitely no funding of his skiing holiday. What does he expect you to do? Cancel your holiday because of him?

You’ll have to put the dog in kennels and still enjoy your holiday, but deduct the cost of it from their holiday you’ve agreed to pay for.

We’re going away mid August, using Rover app for 1st time as she’s only a year old and never stayed away. Leaving a 19 yr old at home, he loves her but is working random hours, sleeps very late when not working and wouldn’t always be switched on to her needs. I’m happy to pay for her boarding away knowing she’ll have all her needs met.
A teenagers lifestyle maybe not fully in line with dog care.

I used to outright refuse to dog sit my parents' dogs when they went away to be fair.

I never wanted/asked for a dog so I didn't think it was fair that I should get saddled with the responsibility when they wanted to go away.

Different if it's a family dog, or you're only asking them to look after it for a night or two. But if you're away for a couple of weeks...

No. They made a commitment which you relied on and booked holiday which may have financial losses for cancelling.

if they want to behave like a child then treat them as one. Where are they going? You don’t want them away overnight.

if they want a holiday then they better start saving with all the mythical overtime they have to do.

it’s fine to express your disappointment but set out your stall going forward.

if child said they are going camping then book the pet sitter and tell child they can’t go home while sitter is there so need to find lodgings.

I absolutely wouldn’t be paying for a holiday for him, no way. Tell him to stay away for the whole period as you will be using a home dog sitter.

If he wont look after the dog then he moves out for the time you are away so you can have house sitter.

Is there an app where I find someone to mind my teen, while DDog gets lovely house sitters? Anyone fancy a dog sit in Australia?

Ha !
we once did a house swap where we were informed on the way to the airport that their teen had mixed up his Waitrose shifts so he would still be there for our first night, but we would scarcely see him. Well yes except he made his own pizza dough in the kitchen and silently but visibly judged us for eating in the living room.

Absolutely nobody wants a teen in the house. We have had to tell DS19 to make himself scarce in his student house last week of August as I have a dog sitter in as don’t trust him to do it.

@rookiemere

Absolutely nobody wants a teen in the house. We have had to tell DS19 to make himself scarce in his student house last week of August as I have a dog sitter in as don’t trust him to do it

confused. Why does your ds have to make himself scarce in his own house? If there’s a dog living there why is it your responsibility to find a dog sitter?

Oh my god the dream!!! 😍

I find this absolutely bizarre. Of course he should look after the dog when you are away. That's how families work. When we are away our children look after all our animals and none of them live with us. They always have, the same as we look after theirs when they are away.
I also find this 'well it's not his responsibility' or it impinges on his social life strange too. He can rearrange his social life and how can a family function where everything has to be as per a job specification and transactional. There are hundreds of things that will have been done for him that didn't 'have' to be done. At 17 he should have some understanding of that. To pay for dog care when their is a 17 year old at home is ridiculous.
The obvious point you can make is the ski holiday, but it seems to be a bit deeper than that, tbh.
And if he does agree but doesn't look after the dog properly then that's another issue that needs addressing.

Nonsense, it’s not his dog.

It’s not like asking someone to feed a cat or a budgie morning and evening, that’s very low maintenance.

The dog is OP’s pet not his.

Right. I’m not sitting anyone’s dog. Don’t mind feeding cats though as that is relatively straightforward and cats are independent.

I'd be there in a shot if I were in Oz 😂

OP, as previously mentioned, Trusted Housesitters is your friend. They cover Australia too. Everywhere really. I found a great one in Costa Rica a few weeks back.