To want to nip this in the bud ( LGBTQ views , child )

[Calmorchaos]

I’m after some advice really on how to approach this.

I have always been the type of person to support anyone to be who they are. I’ve never shied away or shielded my children from the world - very much a ‘love is love’ person and always encouraged my children to support those who need it and be inclusive ( in terms of people being bullied , disabilities etc too ) .

My youngest is going into high school ( 11 ) . Over the past few months I’ve noticed a few comments such as “ there are 2 genders “ , “ I don’t support LGBTQ “ . I’ve addressed this in the moment . But recently he found out his new school has an LGBTQ assembly on a monthly basis and he has started saying he doesn’t want to go because “ he doesn’t support it” . I sat down and had a chat with him , I explained to him that it isn’t really his place to choose to not agree with it - it’s not a choice , i explained it as he could say he doesn’t agree with people eating meat as that is a choice he would be making , but someone’s sexuality is their feelings and not a choice.

I am sure comments will allow me to explain more how the conversation went from my side so I won’t drag this post on with that but his comments were unnerving :

• he believes someone chooses to be gay , they can control it but they choose it
• we can choose who we fall in love with
• if a friend of his told him he was gay he would still be friends with them but not as good because they chose to be gay and he doesn’t support it.

I know he is very young and he doesn’t understand and has things to learn. He is the sweetest boy and the way he said these things sounded scripted as though he has heard others say this . I know he is a child and it’s my job that guide him and that’s the advice I’m asking for , how do I address this? I’m not saying I need him to go around advocating I just don’t want these views becoming ingrained and he becomes the reason another student who is struggling, struggles more. I know I may be overreacting but this age and as the years go on is a time that he can be heavily influenced . He’s a quiet, sweet boy and I do believe he could be heavily influenced.

Another concerning thing is that when I asked him where he had heard all this and where it comes from he said his Dad .

Are you suggesting a child’s brain is not still developing at 11? Your point about criminal responsibility is irrelevant as the child in question has not committed a crime.

It is a huge leap, but children get older every year and words become actions. Gay teenagers are traumatised every day by bullying. I think the OP is right to be concerned.

Yet.

I’m fairly clear on those reasons fwiw. Just a hunch.

Why on earth are you bringing up child killers? It’s not relevant to the threads at all. No one is disputing the age of criminal responsibility. I do find it interesting you haven’t answered any of my questions. I highly doubt you have 1 GCSE never mind a teaching degree. It’s very obvious you have no idea what you’re talking about hence all your replies. But if you are an experienced teacher, which I highly doubt your replies are just embarrassing.

Oh give over.

I don’t make the laws. Homophobic comments are rightly sanctioned, just as racist and ableist comments are.

Thought police

What do you want, a copy of my degree certificates and my enhanced DBS? What questions do you want me to answer?

I think there are some pretty fucking awful ideologue teachers, so that doesn’t rule that out for me @Blurrywateryeye

Your son is allowed to have these feelings but as a lot of people forget, if you have nothing kind to say, it's better not to say anything at all. When I was a teenager ( 15 ish years ago), rumours spread at school about my sexuality. I felt so scared incase anyone suspected, I was bi. When i eventually came out at 16, my best friends boyfriend mocked and threatened me. Your son is at a really impressionable age and what you say to him now about his views, will have a big impact.

If you need any help with punctuation, ask a teacher.

Wait a minute, SOME people do choose? There’s high profile later-life lesbians who have literally said as much (Cynthia Nixon, Mary Portas).

Well he is totally correct on one aspect @Calmorchaos there are only 2 genders, 2 sexes. The rest is nonsense.
Two separate issues which shouldnt be bunched together but sadly have been as LGBQT/all the letters. The first three, most would agree are not a choice. The rest of it is a very different issue.

If I was going to invent a profession, it would be something more interesting than a high school teacher.

Yeah, upload them please, so we can all see who the teacher is comparing convicted child murderers to a child who said that being gay was a choice.

You posting something with a degree of nuance and sense of proportion would be reassuring, tbh.

True. There’s something very off with this one though.

This 100% Could not agree more.

Still waiting for your degree certificates love.

Just throwing this out there as a possibility- he could be experiencing confusing feelings about his own sexuality. So trying to defend against it. I had a very obviously gay friend at school who did this - “urgh, being gay is disgusting” etc. Thankfully they seemed to get through this as Facebook tells me they are now happily married in a same sex relationship. I’m not saying your son’s gay. But it is a really tricky age and all kinds can be influencing how you express yourself.

Well go on then. I have no shame in improving my punctuation. Anything you can do to help, would be appreciated.

oh god, are you serious! You can watch that and think it’s the same as Andrew Tate? Single sex spaces are needed and should be protected however you can be trans and need protecting too, i dont think trans is the same as being a biological woman but I don’t see why everyone has to be tarred with the same brush, it’s so depressing that this world is so lacking in empathy and grey areas. I find it unbearable

That’s fine @Emonade, you can feel sorry for Harper and other men, and we’ll have our single sex spaces and focus on what women and girls need 🤷‍♀️

You were.