To think this teacher should be sacked??

[Isitorisitnot12]

ds1 is 11 (adhd) and being taught in a secondary school by a teacher.
This teacher has a child who is 8 and so is my ds2 and are both in the same class in another school.I found out a few months ago that in fact she teaches my son.
Her son goes into school today and tells people that his mother had said that ‘your class mate’ (my ds2)’s brother has special needs and so people have been approaching my son asking if it was true that his brother has special needs???
Is this outrages or what?? i work in a school and no way i would do that.

I'm a teacher.

I think you need to get some perspective here.

There is no such thing as confidentiality in a school when it comes to any type of learning need. I've got several students in each class with ADHD, autism, dyslexia, etc - and they all need extra time or laptops or whatever whenever we do assessments, so all the kids know who the kids are with additional needs in their class as it's very much out in the open.

And guess what? No one cares. We celebrate neurodiversity week at school, we encourage students to share their experiences to raise awareness, and we actively promote the benefits of neurodiversity. It's 2025. There's no reason to be ashamed of having ADHD and quite frankly you shouldn't be teaching your child to feel this way about their diagnosis.

It's important that children understand and appreciate that everyone is different, that some people have conditions or illnesses or whatever that might make them struggle with certain things, and that we're all here to help and support each other and not judge or make fun.

With regard to this specific teacher and her child in your younger son's class, you have absolutely no knowledge of how this got passed on to her child, and so therefore complaining to the headteacher or Chair of Governors (ffs!!), claiming she has 'breached confidentiality' is a ridiculous escalation and also not necessarily the truth. Her son may have overheard her speaking to a colleague, or seen an email, or something of that nature - or she may just have accidentally said something in response to her son saying something like 'you teach my friend's brother, Jack' and her saying 'Jack who?' and him saying 'my friend says he's really naughty' and her saying 'oh he's not naughty, he's just got ADHD', and then her son saying 'what's ADHD?' and her saying 'oh, it's a type of special need.' All very innocent and unthinking.

I really wouldn't see this as something to get het up about. I'd be more concerned as to why you're so intent on treating your son's ADHD as a shameful secret.

So you want this single mum to potentially become unemployed and unempoyable- and that's taking into account it might not all the true.....

Just because you might not have an issue, it doesn’t mean your child won’t, especially as they get older. it’s up to your child who they divulge their condition to at school in terms of fellow pupils. They’ve now lost all control of being able to do that on their terms.

would you be happy if you were off work due to a private health matter and your boss went around telling everyone?

I don’t understand why she would say anything to her 8 year old, what possible reason would there be for this? If she did, I think it’s unprofessional but not sackable.

There seems to be a struggle and desire for secrecy around your son’s diagnosis though. Whilst privacy is a right, I don’t think blowing up over this is helpful as it would your son is far more likely to find out and it seem you don’t want him to.

Have you thought about encouraging him to be more open about his diagnosis? In secondary it really isn’t unusual and it is often apparent to other children anyway. He shouldn’t feel it needs to be hidden.

I love how people assume it’s because people are ashamed of their disabilities.

no- it’s because we want to tell people on our own terms.

@EnidSpytoneven if they need extra time, it doesn’t give all pupils the “right” to know. If you stand there going “oh, that’s tim, you should all know that he has ADHD even though he doesn’t want to tell you because he must be ashamed” to all your pupils I question what sort of teacher you are

Nope, this was definitely you.

I remember the thread too. All the details add up. There can't be someone else on Mumsnet within the space of a couple of weeks who has also posted about having epilepsy and a school lunch lady telling her daughter about it in the 90s.

You wanted to sue the school retrospectively. We all told you that you were being ridiculous.

And now you're on this thread trying to get another teacher sacked.

I mean I have a child with adhd - I didn’t even know it was a disability - my child will happily tell anyone what he has if asked 😂. So you want the teacher sacked or something? I’m not getting this thread.

well link me the post then. Because it’s obviously not me and I’m sure the username will say otherwise and lead you to a different profile.

That or you’re just making it up.

You're basing this on second hand information from an 8 year old who heard it from another 8 year old.

You're going to need more than that if you want to get someone fired.

You have no idea what, if anything, she actually said.

I don’t think I can see what the problem is. Maybe the teacher said something about how she teaches your older son and the 8 year olds understanding is her job is to teach children with special needs and that’s his interpretation.

Right...ok....

OP- like I said earlier, I know he’s at secondary, but surely you have met his teacher through his parents evening? They are just about to break up for summer hols so it should’ve been long ago that you met her

Not been long ago*

You have no idea what you’re talking about. My sons are aware of their diagnosis’s and have no issue with other people knowing, including their peers. My autistic son is 11 and will confidently tell people that he has autism, why wouldn’t he? I have raised my boys to be proud of who they are not embarrassed. You cannot compare special education needs with a health matter at work, don’t be so ridiculous.

If this is true and she said it via WhatsApp she sounds awful either way and maybe shouldn’t be teaching anyway

@EnidSpyton Why aren't you using the cloak of invisibility so that no one sees the students using extra time? Tut tut what an awful teacher you are... 🙄

OP I'm still not really sure who said what to who. I'd try to get some facts before you complain.

That’s great your sons don’t might telling people. But I can imagine you not being too happy if they didn’t want to tell people and a teacher told someone without their consent

nothing to do with being embarrassed of your condition at all. But it should be on the person to tell who they want, on their own terms. Schools may need to know for education or safety reasons, but can’t go round telling their kids without the consent of the child and or parent

Mind*

@simsbustinoutmimi

You seem unhealthily obsessed with privacy and being able to divulge things 'on your own terms'.

Look, the reality is, in many to most cases, people with autism, ADHD and other neurodiverse conditions have very obvious behaviours that make that diagnosis clear without them needing to tell anyone. With some children who are very good at masking, it's not always possible to tell immediately, but as an experienced teacher, I can usually tell on first meeting a child that they have autism/ADHD if I don't know it already.

So keeping it a secret and telling people on their own terms isn't really necessary - both teachers and kids are pretty clued up to neurodiversity these days and they know when someone is 'different'. They really wouldn't need a 'reveal'.

That’s completely not true about autism/ adhd. Some people especially girls don’t present much at all. This is why there are such long tests and long waiting lists for a diagnosis. It doesn’t always present as obvious. I don’t know where you’re getting your medical knowledge from, but it’s incorrect.

Keeping it a secret isn’t necessary you’re right. But a child does not have to tell everyone. The school must know, the family knows. Maybe they tell close friends. But it’s not imperative every classmate knows right away.

im so sad that you as a fellow teacher yourself are sticking up for a teacher who thinks it’s appropriate to tell their kids private medical information about another pupil, then be fine with the pupil telling other people who now think it’s their business to ask OP’s son about his condition. How depressing.

My son's a teacher but he would not agree with this. We live in the catchment area and he is very careful when telling us about his day to never refer to students by name in case we know who he is talking about. His school takes confidentiality/GDPR very seriously.

I also work in schools and likewise, we never take student details out of school, unless they are on a locked laptop. I would never discuss a student by name if someone, including a child, could overhear me.

My son's physical disability is obvious but his other disability is less obvious if you aren't in his class. Disabled children are entitled to some privacy and don't exist just to educate other children.

I'd want to know the full story of course but if it happened that way, I wouldn't be happy at all.

So in your first post you say this boy said his mum told him your DS had special needs. In your subsequent post you say this boy ASKED your DS2 if his brother had SEN??
VERY different scenarios and hence casts doubt on your narrative