To think this teacher should be sacked??

[Isitorisitnot12]

ds1 is 11 (adhd) and being taught in a secondary school by a teacher.
This teacher has a child who is 8 and so is my ds2 and are both in the same class in another school.I found out a few months ago that in fact she teaches my son.
Her son goes into school today and tells people that his mother had said that ‘your class mate’ (my ds2)’s brother has special needs and so people have been approaching my son asking if it was true that his brother has special needs???
Is this outrages or what?? i work in a school and no way i would do that.

She teaches the older son, not the younger one whose child is in the same class as OP’s.

Okay well the point is, a teacher who is teaching your son- either of your sons- shouldn’t be in contact with you via any form of social media including WhatsApp. That needs to be reported as it is incredibly unprofessional.

“I found out a few months ago that in fact she teaches my son”

this just sounds weird. Wouldn’t she know who her son’s teacher was a while ago?

That's not true, she is on the WhatsApp group as a parent, which is absolutely fine.

I am bowing out and have reported the thread as I do not believe it’s a genuine poster.

Yes, that is weird but it’s not the point I was replying to.

OP, how have you only just discovered who your son’s teacher is?

So im not sure if you are familiar with secondary schools and how subjects are taught by different teachers.
What would make me know that one of my sons teacher is in fact a child’s mother from my younger son’s class??
i think you have too much time on your hand if you find this suspicious.
I do not know all my children’s teacher. How would I??

I would say no, not stackable as I know of a teacher who announced a child's v serious medical issues to the class ! Child and parents were horrified. V traumatic for the student. Teacher apologised but stayed put.

I'm trying to imagine a scenario where this information came about between parent and 8yo and I can't really. Agree with others that it is difficult to keep confidential within his own school as other students know, if student is going out for extra supports others know etc and generally I would say if is more positive, if the child is comfortable with it, to be open about their issue etc. Classmates can be informed and empathetic and supportive but of course this depends. Hush hush isn't always helpful, there's nothing wrong with being ND.

Does your older son know about this incident? Does he have any wish to communicate about his diagnosis with 8yo? Is there any sign of adhd in your younger child? Wondering if maybe her child was complaining about his behaviour and she wrongly mentioned his older brothers issue.

Separately, well done to your ds on doing so well academically despite his diagnosis and also wonderful that he has decent friends that he can condide in.

Ah, yes, I was thinking primary school. Makes sense now.

My older son doesn’t know about this incident . No.
I feel it would really upset him if i told him about the accusations of his teacher.
He has always struggled with his diagnosis so the thought of this teacher telling her son who then spreads the news in his little brothers class, would be hurtful for him.
Im hoping that the teacher has learnt from this even if she doesn’t admit to it and she would not tell anything like this to anyone else.

I’m hoping mumsnet has more common sense than to act on your suspicions

I am curious about confidentiality too-when my partner was in hospital, I had to sort something out at the GP (not going into detail, as ironically I don't want to spread info that should be private lol) and they made me jump through hoops at a very difficult time, citing confidentiality. All sensible right?
No, because when he was in the hospital, very private medical info could easily be overheard by EVERYONE-patients, visitors, staff who didn't need to have that info-because the doctors would talk to patients with only a curtain between them and the next bed. It only needed a visitor who knew he did and other people he worked with for that info to be heard by pretty much everyone he knows.
When I've been on post-natal wards, as women came up the midwives shouted all all their info. Maybe some of them didn't want me, a stranger, to know they had 3rd degree tears?
In AE, when we took in a an elderly relative, he was shoved in a "fit to sit" area for a 2 day wait, and when we tried to talk to the nurse, literally everyone could hear all the details.
So I don't know about the school's rules (it might have been the kids talked about it between themselves at a time the mum's not aware of), but in medicine, it seems like things aren't always kept confidential in practice.

To be fair whoever heard info at hospital wouldn’t have known what GP to go to

No they're not, dont be ridiculous. Teachers have kids too, lots in the same school as them. There must be thousands of teachers on whatsapp groups for shared sports, for shared friends group, social activities etc. Or all those teachers who are friends with people who happen to have kids in their classes. Do you think they go silent for all the time they are teaching them?

Parents can speak to teachers through the school if they need to, but are not supposed to contact teachers RE school stuff, out of school. Otherwise there would be a myriad of parents contacting their child’s teacher at all times of the day and night (via phone if they have WhatsApp number) to ask questions.

This teacher is also a parent. She is in the WhatsApp group for the child she is a parent of, not for a child she teaches.

The way the teacher replied to OP (if they even did) would be career suicide.

There's an awful lot of 'SACK THIS TEACHER!!' posts at the moment isn't there!

But you do believe that a mother would sit her 8-year old son down and directly tell him that the older brother of another child in his class has SEN?! That really doesn’t sound more plausible than the overhearing scenario to me. Why would she do that? Surely it’s more likely that he overheard a surname, or overheard her complaining loudly and inappropriately than that she told him bizarre things she hoped he wouldn’t repeat, despite the fact he’s only 8? People often assume young children won’t understand context, won’t put two and two together, don’t listen to adult conversations, etc, but they seldom give their 8-year olds confidential information on purpose.

also, RE it being a secondary school, did you not meet your son’s teachers at parents evening? If he’s eleven he must have started last September approx. And he’s just about to hit the summer holidays. Surely you’ve met this teacher in person? How could you not know who she is?

Which is completely different to what you originally said. You've switched from "Teachers are banned from" to "Parents are not supposed to".

its not different at all

It’s obviously possible to contact your child’s teacher out of school unless all their SM is locked down. Look at Megan stammers contacting her teachers SM.

some parents will try it, not realising they’re not supposed to

Teachers have rules against contacting their child’s parents outside of school hours

saying that this teacher doesn’t seem to care about confidentiality so I’m not surprised they don’t care about the outside contact rule.

but there are a few gaps in OP’s post

I’m struggling to understand why this is so much of an issue for you. I have 3 children with SEN, two still school age. One has autism and the other Tourette’s (and is on autism pathway). I honestly have no problem anyone discussing their diagnosis. I am very proud of them and whilst their special needs do create challenges, it’s part of them, it makes them who they are. For example my youngest has a number of vocal and motor tics, we don’t pretend they don’t exist, we talk about them, we laugh about them and sometimes even cry about them, but the point is we acknowledge and accept his differences. Same with my autistic son, he is also very academic, but his autism causes him difficulties socially etc, he understands this because we are honest with him about who he is. I thought we had moved on from the days where disabilities were something to be embarrassed about and hidden away, how are schools ever going to be inclusive to SEN children if we aren’t allowed to talk about them. I’ve been in your position, a teacher told another child my son had autism, but I didn’t complain about her, why would I? I feel you should be putting your energy into helping your son, rather than complaining about this teacher.

Parents don’t have the rules, the rules are there for the teachers who teach in the establishment. Parents themselves probably won’t get any sort of reprimand, whereas a teacher faces sanctions for contaxting a pupils parents outside of school. It’s not the parents who work for the school.