To think this teacher should be sacked??

[Isitorisitnot12]

ds1 is 11 (adhd) and being taught in a secondary school by a teacher.
This teacher has a child who is 8 and so is my ds2 and are both in the same class in another school.I found out a few months ago that in fact she teaches my son.
Her son goes into school today and tells people that his mother had said that ‘your class mate’ (my ds2)’s brother has special needs and so people have been approaching my son asking if it was true that his brother has special needs???
Is this outrages or what?? i work in a school and no way i would do that.

you can be unashamed of it, while still not wanting someone to tell everyone without your consent. OP’s son has told the people that he wants to tell. Now this mum and child have taken that away from him.

would you be happy if your husband told his mates about your sex life that you aren’t ashamed of? Or your menopause?

He should not have access to his mothers work stuff.

This is definitely a breach of confidentiality. Whether intentionally or not ( leaving papers lying around for others to see is not ok)
This needs to be addressed

Agreed, but are you telling me that she has to guard exercise books, every document when she is working at home, on her own time because teachers don't get time for marking during the day, from an 8 year old. Unfortunately her son is a little shit and didn't fully understand what damage he may have done to her.

No the teacher shouldn’t be sacked. You’re being ridiculous. Kids lie. The end.

During teacher training we had it drummed into us that talking about the kids we taught with names and even seemingly innocent details outside of school could get you struck off if a member of the public hears and complains.

There's no way the teacher doesn't know that sharing details of a pupil's diagnosis outside of school is very much not OK.

You should absolutely take this to her Head, at least.

At the end of the day, it's up to DS to decide who he tells about his diagnosis and she's taken that away from him.

My DS is in the same position (ASD. Very high functioning. Not told any of his friends at secondary that he is autistic) and I'd be furious if a teacher openly discussed his diagnosis in this way with family and friends.

It's very unprofessional.

Make contact with both schools and ask them to investigate what has been said. It could be

• the mum actually told the 8 year old that X's brother has SEN. If she did that she needs the sack.
• It could be that she was working at home in the evening and brother saw something about your child in her work. Yes she needs telling to be more careful, but honestly if we didn't have a stupid system where teachers have so much work that they were trying to work while putting their own kids to bed, this wouldn't have happened.
• could the teacher have an older child who knows your child better? Or could other children who were taught by that teacher know? The 8 year old and his mum could have seen a pupil out and about who mentioned your child's SEN?

Thanks @stichguru No i don’t believe he could have seen it from any paperwork as there is never any mention of his adhd as he is super academic so wouldn’t be on his work books etc. He is an only child.
I have confronted and she blatantly said it isn’t true and all the kids are lying and making things up as you can’t trust any of them.
So based on this response i’m not sure where to go

How did you get in contact with her? She sounds incredibly unprofessional.

So as i mentioned her son and my younger son are in the same class.
I think she has quite a bit on at home to deal with (separation, dealing with own son’s issues)

As cross as i am not sure i could handle if me reporting this would cause her to lose the job but at the same time i think its important for her to learn to never do it again (if in fact this is all true)

It could well be that he overheard his mother in conversation with a colleague. I’m a retired teacher and remember how difficult it could be sometimes when little ears were around. Not a sackable offence.

I’m not sure how he would put the two together that a child who his mum is talking about having adhd is the same child whose brother he goes to school with. I don’t believe a 7-8 year would get information as specific as this just by overhearing it from adults talking

If school knows he has adhd then it will be on his records somewhere though? To be honest her response makes me more suspicious she did something wrong. It seems unlikely that her child would have come up with the specific thing your child does have if teacher/mum didn't let it slip. The kid could just have been winding up yours, by teasing him but then he could have made up anything - much more likely he'd have made up something else wrong.

I remember your thread from a few weeks ago... You were trying to gather ammunition to take legal action against the school (whilst pretending not to obviously)...

Must have been a different user, as I don’t see how I could take any action against a school I went to years and years ago that’s at the other side of the country.

@stichguru exactly what is said to her. i mean how would a child that young think they could maliciously get someone into trouble by asking if their brother had special needs.
This comes a couple of months after we had a private contact when she blurted out in whatsapp group (for a party for the younger ones) ‘ i just realised i teach your older son.’
to which i felt uncomfortable about because i had never spoken to her before that so it was odd that she would say that in a big group where we are really friendly and chatty. Anyhow i disregard it and a knowledged what she said.
I know she has problem with his behaviour as she made it clear on the school report (even though she gave him top grade)

I’m not ashamed of being perimenopausal, although it’s something society has historically been weird about, so it’s quite a good parallel! (My husband actually works with a lot of women my age and it’s thanks to one of them I tried magnesium spray because she mentioned sleep difficulties and he said “oh, my wife also suffers from that” - so I’m fine with that!)

anyway the point is, apart from the issue of the teacher potentially breaching confidentiality (which I agree is something you should unpack, hence talking to her), you’ve got a good opportunity here to teach your son about special needs and how to feel about them. It wasn’t to say, ah chill out and don’t worry about the issue, but to point out that there is a potentially useful teachable moment here as well as a challenge which could be another way to look at it.

A teacher or TA should not be in a WhatsApp group with other parents. That needs to be reported to the school in itself. You should only be able to communicate with her through the correct channels ie through the school.

I am beginning to wonder if this thread is legit honestly.

@simsbustinoutmimi this teacher has a young child along with my younger one in a primary school so her job and her son’s business is not in the same school

I think the mention in WhatsApp is fine, she was just being friendly. The other thing sounds a bit lacking in evidence so I'm not sure I'd put much by it, also most children in schools know who has SEN as they are in and out of interventions or being seen by certain adults. It isn't kept a secret. Dd knows who in her class has SEN.

@simsbustinoutmimi you should have a read through the whole thread that would help not just commenting on unrelated issues

What do you mean by this?

You’re saying something completely different now

your OP said this teacher who teaches your son told her son, who told your son’s classmates.

Now you say she doesn’t teach your son and isn’t in his school at all?