Aware of Head Teacher and Teacher affair

[GlitterGold7]

Name changed for this. I’ve become aware that the HT of my DC’s primary school is having an affair with one of the teachers. Both are married.

Would you do anything with this information? It feels utterly morally bankrupt that the HT is abusing his position like this, and I feel so sorry for the partners involved.

But something has gone on - the teachers will have been falsely accused which will have caused damages to their health and jobs. That needs dealing with and rightly so at a tribunal. You cannot falsely accuse someone of something based on them being out in public. Teachers have a right to be places.

The police will be called in relation to the false accusation and harassment that the parent has done. Rightly so.

They have a right to report, remember. So that parent should be arrested.

'The police will be called in relation to the false accusation and harassment that the parent has done. Rightly so.'

It is not harassment to raise a concern via the appropriate channels.

I don't but reporting minor neglect with a minor bit of evidence will not get SS involvement. They will 'turn a blind eye' or sorry I mean follow the process!

The OP said that it is speculation it wouldn't be if they had been seen doing something it would be factual.

So no reporting someone for being somewhere is not worthy of an investigation aside from harassment. The two may say yes they were there - that means nothing. They are allowed to meet outside of work.

I am concerned for the school dads you meet in the playground given you cannot talk to a male without assuming sex has to happen.

It is harassment to report someone going about their daily business as being up to no good and sharing false information with the aim to get the into trouble for doing nothing. Yes it is and as you say - they have a right to report.

You think the police will act on someone saying you think there is a crime because someone has been seen standing on a street and then think the police won't act because someone has been malicious and making false accusations.

Imagine that - police with their sirens on for someone standing on a street and then ignoring someone trying to harm someone else maliciously.

It does come under the harassment law and malicious communications.

'You think the police will act on someone saying you think there is a crime because someone has been seen standing on a street and then think the police won't act because someone has been malicious and making false accusations.'

You have said repeatedly that an event has to be witnessed before it is reported, this is not true. Suspicions are enough. So while the police may not act on someone's concerns it is still ok to raise them then it is up to the professionals to decide how to proceed. Ditto with Heads and governing bodies.

It is tricky as these governor organisations are really just PTA with meetings minuted but even so they would take this allegation seriously and conduct appropriate confidential meetings to establish facts.

2/10 op. Could do better!

I don't but reporting minor neglect with a minor bit of evidence will not get SS involvement.

It did, so there’s nothing you can say to make what happened in my case untrue.

The OP said that it is speculation

What she actually said was that it confirmed previous speculation.

So no reporting someone for being somewhere is not worthy of an investigation

I did not say it was ‘worthy of an investigation’. I said the the governors can assess the concern.

I am concerned for the school dads you meet in the playground given you cannot talk to a male without assuming sex has to happen.

This is irrelevant, since (again) you do not know the details of behaviour witnessed.

Must be the only school in the country then! 😂 Every school I was ever in was one big bonkfest, Perhaps you were blissfully unaware… 😉

You want to see some FE colleges I know of - especially one I can think of when an event was ever held in their bar. If Security were watching CCTV of the nearby rooms and stairwells, I'll bet they had a field day!

Give them the heads up that there is a person on a street not committing a crime! 😂 Yeah they will be very interested that you want to just report a person on a street and want them to investigate them for nothing at all only standing.

The crime of standing! 😂
How do you actually get to work without being reported and arrested?

Governors are not PTAs with meetings minuted at all. They are two different groups.

So they would establish the facts:

They were at the hotel. Great fact. Nothing else to know.

Or

They were not at the hotel. Great fact. Nothing else to know.

What an amazing appropriate confidential fact finding mission!

It's no wonder eduction is such a shambles. Teachers should put as much effort into teaching as they do into shagging each other.

The person who told you this is lying to you. That doesn't happen like that. The procedure is very clear and they think it is SS when it is FIS or someone else.

So you rang social services and they didn't follow procedure at all just acted. Absolutely bullshit. It goes through Mash (multi agency services) and each service will be consulted about the evidence - police, medical, social services, legal etc. Then it will be decided what action to take next. Mash have different time scales to follow depending on if it is a S17 or a S47.

If it is typical neglect then a GCP will be done with the family by someone trained in this. This is done with the family to identify the neglect. The threshold for SS involvement is if there is a risk of significant harm. If not SS will not take it on and it goes to FIS. These are support workers who people often mistake for SS and who are part of the FIS team.

So it is either they were at significant risk and it was a significant piece of evidence or it wasn't SS and you were lied to or that person was mistaken with FIS.

Yes she did say it confirmed speculation - how does her mate seeing someone at a hotel confirm her thoughts? Absolutely doesn't. It shows they were at the same place at the same time.

So being at a hotel means you are knobbing someone. Just standing at a hotel means you are having an affair because someone once thought it about you. Absolutely not it doesn't.

How many affairs have you had? (hotel visits). Bet you are a real goer!

Yes it is important as I do know the behaviour witnesses, you are showing me that you cannot be trusted around men and your behaviour has confirmed speculation that you knob fathers you meet at the school gates.

So teachers aren't allowed a social life then.

Ha ha! It is a shambles because they are working two or three jobs not one and because the parents think they are working 1-2-1 with their child and demand pathetic things. All while teachers are paying for everything for their child to learn.

Most don't have time to knob their other half or read with their own kids because other people's kids come before their own family and social life. If working 100 hours a week is not enough then jesus do you want blood? A limb?

Apparently not.

If you go out in public this person thinks teachers should be reported to the school and investigated and have to explain their every move to governors.

Teachers shouldn't be seen or heard according to this person!

No, you are incorrect with what happened with the SS. I didn’t ring SS, it was through another channel and was escalated to them. Again, it’s irrelevant whether you think this is true or not. It is, and I know it for a fact. You’ll just have to disbelieve it – that doesn’t concern me.

The fact in this remains that you do not know what behaviour was witnessed. So all your posturing is completely irrelevant.

Please post evidence that you have the facts as to what was seen by the person who saw it – otherwise, nothing you say is relevant.

Quite frankly it was grim, grown adults behaving like that. Shows an absolute want of dignity - not sexy, edgy or racy - and at their ages getting a room would have been more appropriate. A friend of mine worked there longer than I did and witnessed all sorts. I jest now, but that place really was like a parallel universe and not in a good way.

FE was a first job for me and thankfully I quickly moved on. It's the one sector in which I could never be persuaded to teach again on any pretext.

Of course they are but we have heard time and time again that married staff shagging each other this isn't unusual and schools are 'bonk fests' apparently. No wonder they don't reply to emails or look at you blankly at parent consultations.

So being at a hotel means you are knobbing someone. Just standing at a hotel means you are having an affair because someone once thought it about you. Absolutely not it doesn't.

No one said this. Irrelevant.

'They were at the hotel. Great fact. Nothing else to know'

And if the married boss is indeed shagging his junior married colleague that would breach all kinds of conduct expectations and hopefully the HT would face appropriate action.

'They were not at the hotel. Great fact. Nothing else to know'

Yes correct that is how investigations work. Facts are established. You finally get it!

Of course. But there's such a thing as shitting on your own doorstep, as the saying goes.

If you want to shag your colleague, then bending them over the pool table at your place of work - whether out of hours or not - in full view of security CCTV isn't the best look. Nor is shagging on the stairwell or giving someone a BJ on your knees behind their desk. I only knew about the latter because my office-mate caught them in flagrante.

I'm hardly what you'd call a prude but in that place I felt like your pearl-clutching, tweed-wearing virgin auntie. It's not funny, clever or sexy to behave like this in your own workplace as a supposed professional adult. It's pathetic and really pretty sad.

NB. in terms of the OP's dilemma, I'm a firm advocate of mind your own bloody business. What consenting adults do in their own time is their affair. This place was something else entirely.

You don’t have evidence that the head teacher is “abusing his position.” He’s having an affair with a fellow consenting adult, not a student.

As sleazy as the situation is, I think you’ve just got to leave it alone.

Yes it will have been escalated as a S47 to Mash as I explained. Absolutely I do not know what was witnessed but as I said it had to be serious for Mash to involve SS.

The procedure is very clear as are the timescales.

They have a threshold which is high. Nits, no breakfast and dirty clothing or the like wouldn't even get a sniff from SS. Living in dogshit ridden, rat infested houses without a bed or any food would.

Ah so now you are saying you can only say something if you have the facts. Odd that you can say things about the OP situation without facts. Nice deflection. Absolutely I can say something. Just as the OP can report, I can say things. You cannot stop me.

Yes they have done - all day long! That being at a hotel means they are having and affair and need reporting.

Standing at a hotel is not indicative of an affair.

Being at a hotel is not breaching any conduct at all and doesn't require any action.

So finding they were there is a fact is not need for anything more.