AIBU to be disappointed about this?

[mrsm43s]

Later this week, on my birthday, we're doing a long train journey to visit friends for a few days. Whenever we do these long journeys, we always book them over lunchtime, and do a "train picnic" of nice food e.g afternoon tea style and share some prosecco or anti pasta style and share some red. It means that our trip starts when we get in the train, and the journey flies by.

DH booked the train tickets, and he just accepted the default seating rather than selecting seats, and as a consequence we're stuck on a middle and aisle seat with no table. So lunch is pretty much going to be a sarnie and a bottle of water as there's no table space, the journey is going to be long, boring and uncomfortable, squashed in next to a stranger.

We've tried to change seats now, but as it's a couple of days away, there's no availability of seats at a table, and no availability in first class either.

I feel like instead of my birthday starting at 11.30am once we're on the train, it's not going to start until 3pm when we arrive, and the journey is something to be tolerated, rather than something to be enjoyed.

I don't want to be spoilt, and I get that I'm going to have a lovely time with my friends, but I'm really grumpy and disappointed. I think it's mostly because DH has form for this kind of stuff, always taking the quick, easy way, and never checking anything.

AIBU to be pissed off? And does anyone have any ideas of how to make the journey more fun, or special/treat lunch ideas possible to eat when sitting in a cramped middle seat?

Oh this reminds me of when I was sat next to someone who chomped through a whole tube of Pringles when I was hungover and on a three hour train. It seemed to go on for ever. Most people just buy a sandwich, take a few minutes to eat it, and then food is done with. I would definitely be a bit fed up sitting next to someone using a table for a picnic complete with bottles of wine, presumably it lasts for bloody ages.

Ditto being in recovery and being centimetres away from people drinking wine.

I never noticed it when I was a drinker but after getting sober I realised red wine absolutely honks.

Thanks for your input.

I can see why you're disappointed. It's your birthday and this is something you enjoy and look forward to and he didn't care enough to make it happen. I hope you have a lovely birthday regardless.

Do you really need to eat all this on a train?

If you've read the op you'd know it's a birthday trip, not just getting from a-b. It's part of the day. No one needs to eat more than a bit of dry bread and sip some water really but it's nice to do nice things.

So a minimum of six things for two people plus it's fairly normal that they may buy one extra thing each, say chocolate as well as crisps. So eight.

I’ve used Seatfrog many times for a first class upgrade. Much cheaper than buying a First Class ticket when you book. Even if it doesn’t automatically seat you together, First Class is very rarely full so you will almost certainly be able to sit together.

The food seems to have become a real distraction on this thread. But the actual issue is your husband being thoughtless and having a can't-be-arsed attitude.

Mine can be the same. He's generally kind and generous but just does not give any thought to planning ahead. I've mostly given up and plan everything myself. For a couple of years I held out regarding my birthday as I thought he really ought to put in a bit of effort there. (For example he'd book a table at a lovely restaurant but forget to book a babysitter and we'd have to cancel and reschedule for the next week once I'd booked a babysitterand it wasn't my birthday any more.) And he'd get all huffy and self righteous if called out on it saying he'd "done his best".

Sorry, waffling, but I understand the disappointment.

Your picnic lunch sounds really lovely. As a fellow passenger I might stare, not with disgust or annoyance but with hungry eyes haha. But I commute to London for work and the evening train home is full of people chomping burgers and noodles (far smellier and messier) and I'm now immune even to that! As you say, if you travel over a meal time, some passengers will be ... having a meal!

Yeah you’re right, I did read it all after commenting.

Which is still different than a drawn out sharing platter picnic. 🙄

No idea why someone would be jealous of someone having a good time! But it certainly does happen. Personally, if I see a couple being a bit loud while enjoying a picnic on the train, it makes me smile 😀 Just speculation into a headspace I can’t relate to really!

It's part of a birthday trip for OP, it's a normal day for others. We still don't know why they can't just use the smaller tables though.

No not really. I wouldn't necessarily eat all 3/4 things in a meal deal in one quick sitting. The op has made it abundantly and repeatedly clear that they keep to their own space. There's no particular reason to doubt that so I really don't see any difference in terms of how it would affect someone else.

I don't think most people would be jealous, unless the wafting food smell made them hungry and they hadn't brought any/enough food to eat (for whatever reason). I found it odd that anyone suggested jealousy tbh. It's hardly that fantastic or unattainable. 😬

The differences have already been explained, go back and you'll be able to read them. HTH.

Because whilst it's possible to manage, you don't have the same amount of flat surface, you can't easily reach down to a bag when the flip tables are down and she finds it less pleasant, as would I. On the table, provided they are not encroaching, they are being perfectly reasonable to use their space as they wish for as long as they wish. If the other seats are fine, you'll be also fine in them surely.

YABU
Coming across as making a big deal of it. Please keep things in perspective.
Enjoy your birthday

See now you're just being rude. I've read every single post. I disagree. HTH. oh and thanks for your input.

Oh god yes, some people are really suffering. Best just close down all of Mumsnet then except geopolitical threads. 🙄

This!
I can’t help feeling if the OP had said we always eat an M&S sarnie, that would have been fine — but because it’s something a bit different (& nicer!), everyone’s weighing in to say how much they’d hate it…
FWIW, if we get the train to London or the coast with our DC, and it’s over a meal time, we often have a train picnic. They love it and it’s a good use of time!

Trains allow eating. Eating is not restricted to a quick sandwich of a type you approve of.

People don't exist to fit into your narrow view of what's annoying.

Perhaps consider how the last line replies to you too. 🙄

I'm telling you where to find answers to what you're asking.

I'd actually swap seats with OP, if I were on her train - provided her seat was reserved/free as far as I was going, was forward facing, and wasn't one without an actual window. 😬