AIBU to be disappointed about this?

[mrsm43s]

Later this week, on my birthday, we're doing a long train journey to visit friends for a few days. Whenever we do these long journeys, we always book them over lunchtime, and do a "train picnic" of nice food e.g afternoon tea style and share some prosecco or anti pasta style and share some red. It means that our trip starts when we get in the train, and the journey flies by.

DH booked the train tickets, and he just accepted the default seating rather than selecting seats, and as a consequence we're stuck on a middle and aisle seat with no table. So lunch is pretty much going to be a sarnie and a bottle of water as there's no table space, the journey is going to be long, boring and uncomfortable, squashed in next to a stranger.

We've tried to change seats now, but as it's a couple of days away, there's no availability of seats at a table, and no availability in first class either.

I feel like instead of my birthday starting at 11.30am once we're on the train, it's not going to start until 3pm when we arrive, and the journey is something to be tolerated, rather than something to be enjoyed.

I don't want to be spoilt, and I get that I'm going to have a lovely time with my friends, but I'm really grumpy and disappointed. I think it's mostly because DH has form for this kind of stuff, always taking the quick, easy way, and never checking anything.

AIBU to be pissed off? And does anyone have any ideas of how to make the journey more fun, or special/treat lunch ideas possible to eat when sitting in a cramped middle seat?

It's exactly the same. It's a cold lunch. Far less smelly than a hot lunch (which is also fine if the trains sell them). Not a bit of it encroaching on anyone else's space. None of anyone else's business.

Not quite sure why you think eating bread, cheese and meat separately is different to eating a cheese and ham sandwich...

Do any of you eat and drink on planes? Because it seems quite acceptable even if it’s 6am.

Good grief indeed, you don't see how pointing out how the current set may actually be better than the table set up, is answering the question regarding whether she is unnecessarily overreacting?

Is this in England?

It's not exactly the same.
A sandwich/drink takes up.less space than a picnic (and involves less reaching over), probably takes less time, and is likely quieter, than a picnic spread.
Clearly you don't want to hear other perspectives though. 🫣
Enjoy your birthday, wherever you end up on the train. ✌️

All I’ll say OP is there is a reason they serve full meals in first class and only snacks in standard. First class is quieter and slightly more private and civilised for enjoying nice food.

We’re all different but I can’t imagine wanting to have a picnic on a table in very close proximity to strangers in a busy train carriage. It just seems very odd to me, and no doubt would be odd to the onlooking passengers. Perhaps your husband feels similarly.

Why did you not book first class in advance? That would have been a special birthday treat if the train company had a nice menu, or even to take your picnic into First would have been preferable.

Including drinking alcohol?

I didn't do the booking, that's the point of the thred. Would have been more than happy with with first class!

OMG! More reaching over! Call the cops!!

I personally hate eating on the train (sometimes I have to but I would have something small, simple and quick - it's definitely not a treat!)

Slightly worse is someone else eating, especially if they're near me.

The worst of all is someone next to me spreading out a picnic inches away from me. I would probably move seats if possible.

Pay to upgrade to first class?

Ignore everyone op! I think you should do the seat booking thing, get nicer separate seats and pack your own picnic and let your dh fend for himself.

christ on a bike! What a palaver all that opening bags and packets, rustling then the chewing and gulping noises! You would definitely be getting the side eye with all that going on!

Goodness people on here have some odd ideas.

Of course it's perfectly normal to eat on a train. Why are all reasonably sized stations full of places selling take away food if not? And some trains have buffets FGS. What on earth for if not to eat the food on the train?!

And of course it's nicer to sit at a table.

OP I'm going to give you my top train tip, and hope no one on my regular line reads it!

I'm this situation you need to prioritise getting a nice seat on the day, and to do that you need to be first on the train.

To achieve that, look at online listings for the train such as

Is it the Edinburgh service? If it is I've never seen the 1st class full - I would ask DH to call LNER and upgrade or ask the conductors on the day. LNER is the best train 1st class (out of the regular companies). Beats Cross Country and EMA handsdown!

Yes I can drink alcohol. I just need to take some medication, with food, 3 times a day at regular intervals. (Not that its any of your business). Gosh how many ways people tie themselves in knots to try to put the boot in! Thankfully it reflects unfavourably on the posters trying to be nasty, and not on me!

As said in a pp, I tried, there's no availability.

It is different OP, honestly. It’s the faffing about with multiple containers, spreading them all out, no doubt spending quite a long time eating it, picking a bit of this and a bit of that, now I’ll have a glass of wine, now I’ll have some olives, ooh, could you pass me the salami? Leaning across the table to reach stuff, dripping bits of oil and crumbs everywhere. And it’s the fact that you’re sat opposite each other rather than side by side, and conducting a conversation across the table for the duration of the journey which is awkward for the two other people sharing it with you.

Can you really not see how this is more disruptive to sit next to than someone who eats a quick sandwich then spends the rest of the journey reading a book?

I get that going on a train is a big deal for you and you want to make it all as fun as possible, but most of the people there are honestly just trying to get from A to B with as little hassle as possible.

Goodness people on here have some odd ideas.

Of course it's perfectly normal to eat on a train. Why are all reasonably sized stations full of places selling take away food if not? And some trains even have buffets FGS. What on earth for if not to eat the food on the train?!

And of course it's nicer to sit at a table.

OP I'm going to give you my top train tip, and hope no one on my regular line reads it!

In this situation you need to prioritise getting a nice seat on the day, and to do that you need to be first on the train.

To achieve that, find out which carriage has the unreserved seats on your train. Get there early and look at online listings for the train such as on The Train Line.

Those listings will show the estimated platform number before it appears on the live indicators at the station.

It's slightly risky as it's not correct 100% of the time, but it usually is in my experience.

Go to the platform shown, and you will be on the platform before the vast majority of people who will be waiting for the platform to show on the indicators.

Make a beeline for the unreserved coach as soon as the train gets in.

Enjoy!

No rustling or gulping. We have good table manners.

Everyone makes eating noises, despite you denying this several times.
A picnic prolongs the eating time, thus prolongs the noise, when compared to a sandwich or something. I don't believe you actually can't grasp this.

Then just eat a cheese and ham sandwich and stop being so weird about train picnics (which isn't s thing for anyone but you)

Oh I wasn't putting the boot in, mrs, honestly, merely curious. I do know it's none of my business but the question just entered my head. Apologies. I have a low tolerance for alcohol and if I had a couple of drinks on a train I'd need to lie down :-).

If I was going on a five hour train journey (which I would not like, but each to their own), I'd book the dining car, not take a picnic.

Is this a special birthday, if that is not too personal a question?

Until coming on to Mumsnet I had no idea how many adults schedule every aspect of their birthdays and get upset when it doesnt get executed like a military plan.. Enjoy the train ride, chat to your husband, let it go. Be happy to be here on another birthday. Flexibility is the key to happiness.

Everyone does make eating noises.

However, eating - and the inevitable eating noises - are mot only permitted, but encouraged, by the train companies who sell and serve food on their trains and in their stations.