To not think being drugged 100% of the time is better than taking a controlled substance twice a month?

[HennyPennyLane]

I am in my 40s. I've dealt with depression on and off my entire life, quite severely. A mix of genuine trauma and I think probably a natural disposition.

I realize I only really need something at most twice a month. And that's PMT related. It's bad, really really bad. Today I've honestly felt like I could happily walk right off a bridge and my family can just fuck off. I know That's not right, I also personally know what suicide does to a family. But I'm at breaking point. I've taken anti depressants before, several different kinds. I hated them they didn't help. They didn't let me feel like me, they fucked up my sex drive and they made me worse.

I've got a difficult life, I've got children with quite serious needs, so I can't really be dicking about trying to find something that works and lets me look after a family.

I mentioned diazepam before to the GP and they brought up anti depressants again. I don't want them!! I don't want to feel like shit all the time when I'm a functioning human 99% of the time. I just need something for the 1% I'm not. Can you get addicted from two diazepam a month? It doesn't seem likely. I've been given them a few times in the past for other reasons and they were so perfect for what I needed and I didn't feel any addictive way towards them. I was able to save them for emergencies when I felt like I do now but haven't got any left. One pack of a few lasted years.

I'm so sad right now and so angry.

Nah, they just start washing the benzos down with booze because 'they don't do a thing' and before you know it, you've got a dead body to deal with.

2 benzos month is not alot. But you need to be trusted and able to control it. It's highly addictive.

I take a mild anti anxiety daily and also have a diazepam prescription but probably only take it twice every 2 months. But the days after I take it are awful. It would be so easy to keep taking it to stave off the side effects and then become addicted.

Are you saying you want diazepam one a day for two days in a month????????
Or are you saying you want a months supply but you will use it sparingly ?
Surely you could speak to gp and get 2tablets once a month. I have had various prescriptions in the past where the pharmacist has put part of a strip of pills in the pack to get the correct number. They could give you 2pills each month in a pack. How can you become addicted to two pills. Ridiculous.

I just wanted to say I really sympathise @HennyPennyLane clearly benzodiazepines were over-prescribed in the past but the pendulum has swung so far the other way it’s ridiculous. There’s no doubt diazepam, and similar drugs, as well as sleeping tablets such as zopiclone are really effective and taken very short term are not addictive. However, doctors wont prescribe them to anyone for anything now. My friend who hadn’t slept for five nights and was having a complete breakdown after a cancer diagnosis was only given medication to help her after she was suicidal and her husband begged the doctor. After two nights decent sleep she was able to function again and use other coping strategies but she suffered for weeks unnecessarily…it makes me cross. Big hugs OP x

I only want two per month. As in, I'd go to a pharmacy and collect my two pills every month.

It's very strongly physically addictive though. There's no way of getting around that.
If you ask for it you usually won't get it.
Unfortunately that's why people end up turning to the black market.
I only know one person who's got a monthly script and it took them 20 years to get it.

Surely also your GP knows your family issues and would prescribe the two pills for you - def worth a try.

I have a regular prescription for zopiclone - absolutely wonderful after a lifetime of insomnia (ADHD). I could kiss the doc’s feet.

if it’s stopped I’m going to Bangkok to get it.

I get this. . But I’m on the mirena so I don’t think it’s hormonal? I’ve no idea?

I had an online appointment last week with a similar - and cheaper - one and I remember them telling me they can’t prescribe control substances

in this case you can try https://happyclinic.co.uk they’re not GPs they’re psychiatrists and they do prescribe it (similar cost to above)

good luck xxx

I know exactly what the term means. Just find it very odd to use promethazine in that context and have never seen that prescribed in that situation.

My mum was like this, and I don’t even know if this condition exists, but it felt like she had pre menstrual psychosis. This was back in the 80’s, when mental health was hidden, and she sought little help. I do hope you can find some help, keep pushing.

OP, ask your GP about Buspirone, I've been prescribed it before instead of Diazepam, just to take when I feel I need it. It just takes the edge off when I'm struggling

I was really skeptical about hrt. I started it 5 weeks ago and when I had a period it was … ok. I normally feel exactly like you at that time of the month. So I’m hoping it’s helping. Something to think about. Good luck ❤️

Diazepam is highly highly addictive. Please do not go down this route. Listen to your Dr. We lost someone to Diazepam. Do not think you will stop at two month.

Ah I misunderstood your ??????s. It's in the NICE guidance- either lorazepam on its own or promethazine with haloperidol (rather than lorazepam and haloperidol as was previously given).

It's a bit off topic here really though, but my point was it's reasonably effective at calming people and less of an issue than benzos. Also you can just buy a box in boots.

www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng10/chapter/Recommendations#using-restrictive-interventions-in-inpatient-psychiatric-settings-2

OP I've been there too

I can completely understand why you'd want to just take a tablet when you feel bad and not at other times, but I do think a decent GP would be supporting you better with other things that are non-addictive.

Are your periods heavy too? I had horrendous periods as well, so was also anaemic and low b12, so get your bloods done too if you can.

Things that worked for me:

Iron and b12 levels sorted out, and general vit and mineral supplements (berocca was great) along with a Mirena coil to start with. It took a while to stabilise and I nearly insisted it got taken out (as I bled lightly every day!) but my gp was insistent to give a bit longer. And she was right, the bleeding eventually stopped and no monthly curve balls. I was on ADs as well though, but only once I'd found Citalopram worked for me. Had awful side effects from others.

Then, when my prolapse became severe I was offered a hysterectomy. Best thing I've ever done and haven't looked back. But, waiting lists are pretty awful right now, which makes me really cross for so many women suffering unnecessarily ☹️

I do know of others who take prescribed cannabis with great results, but you can only get it privately and it's not worth messing with street stuff if your mental health is already poor, as the strengths are so variable.

I feel for you, OP.

I have PMDD, diagnosed at 36. I’m now 48 and have been taking fluoxetine daily for 12 years because it’s the only thing that works. I stopped having the week of suicidal despair within a month of starting it.

I had to up my dose when perimenopause started properly at 45 and the monthly darkness crept back in. (HRT did fuck all for me except make me fat and weepy, but I appreciate it helps for others.)

@VerityUnreasonble thanks for clarifying; I read as promethazine only!

Apologies all for derailing.

A month of valium would probably kill him unless it was a tailored programme with monitoring including breathalysing. Too many GPs are free and easy with 'just a few benzos' to help people stop drinking. It rarely works.

Are you sure you don’t mean Promazine?

OP I don’t want to derail your post but a few things you’ve mentioned make me wonder if you are potentially undiagnosed ND yourself? I only ask as I think you mentioned that your child is autistic and the fact that you talk about anxiety / depression and also PMDD.

Lots of women are starting to receive a diagnosis of ADHD during perimenopause when oestrogen supplies fall off a cliff and the impact on dopamine which helps with executive functioning, emotional regulation etc is significant. Likewise anxiety and depression can be symptoms of untreated ADHD rather than standalone concerns.

There’s far too much to go into here but the short version is that you might find that if you have ADHD and are able to get a diagnosis and access ADHD meds, it might solve the problems you’re talking about here ( although these meds are notoriously challenging to get right during the luteal stage of your cycle, but many psychiatrists will help adjust your meds to ensure you have the right dosage at this time of the month).

‘ADHD Girls To Women’ by Lotta Borg Skoglund is a great read which covers the link between female hormones and ADHD impact and impairment throughout life.

Sorry ignore this. I’ve read your other posts. Can’t say I ever noticed promethazime doing much to calm DH’s anxiety

Yes. I'm sure

No, you can take them only for part of the cycle - see this article from Mind www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder-pmdd/treatment-for-pmdd/#:~:text=SSRIs%20(selective%20serotonin%20reuptake%20inhibitors,just%20during%20your%20luteal%20phase.