Oh no, I’m going to be ‘that’ hen organiser everyone hates!

[Hatedhen]

I’ve organised a hen weekend for my sister which is next weekend & I’ve just found out that i should have organised her travel there including getting the hens to cover the cost…. I’ve already had to ask the hens for more money than initially agreed as I hadn’t accounted for taxis & food in the initial price, and now I need to go back and ask for more.
They’re all going to hate me aren’t they?!

I’ve never been to a weekend hen do and had no idea that it was my job to organise and cost up literally every aspect of the weekend but apparently in her circle that’s what the organiser does. Everyone is also expected to cover every expense for the bride which I’m flabbergasted by!!!

I’m a SAHM so I only have a limited budget so can’t afford to pay for her travel myself but I’m really stressing about asking for the money now as I know everyone is going to be really annoyed.

Is it an extra £75 each or split between the hens? If so how many? Sorry if I've missed it.
I've just been on a hen do to a three night all inclusive stay in Majorca. The hens all chipped in for the Bride and we all paid something like 10 Euros each for her to have a lovely massage and a beauty treatment by the therapist in the hotel. So it's obviously "the done thing" to pay for the bride these days. (As opposed to paying for myself when I had my hen party thirty years ago!)
However, in my recent hen do, the bride genuinely wasn't expecting any of this, and when she found out we were all paying for her share of the trip, and the beauty treatments, she was in tears and so appreciative. There's a big difference here, as your bride sounds like she's being a bit spoilt and demanding. I'm sorry to say that about your sister but it's how it's coming across.

That message had chatgpt written all over it anyway! Can tell it a mile off!

What’s so bad about that?

Everything is bad about Ai.

I meant in the context of this thread obviously

I assume people post wanting actual people to reply, not ai drivel?

(Not saying any posts are artificial intelligence, I don't tend to read ones that are paragraphs long)

Oh I thought you meant the poster had used AI to suggest a response.

Because people had responded about how unnecessarily long winded it was. Where did I say it was bad?

You didnt.Its a figure of speech.

How much is the travel and how much would it add to the cost for everyone?

I think you're right that people will be annoyed as you should have favoured this in before if you were asking others to pay.

I think you'd be better off just telling your sister she needs to pay for her own travel or swallow the cost yourself. She is your sister and it's your error.

How many people are going on this hen do?

10? And the train ticket is £75 so you mighy be asking for £7.50 per person?

I think you should put it to the group & see what they say?

As a pp has said, if your sister has attended several other hen parties for these friends & contributed to all the costs, because that's the way that group does it, then i can see how she might be left with a sour taste if they now don't treat her the same. Particularly if the plans are roughly equal to the types of events your sister has participated in before.

Just send a message to the group & say it's just been brought to your attention by xxx that the tradition is the brides travel costs are covered & the ticket is £75 so that's £7.50 each. I can't see how how they can be mad at that since it's how they do it in their group.

Don't ask your sister or your parents at this stage.

As a pp has said, if your sister has attended several other hen parties for these friends & contributed to all the costs, because that's the way that group does it, then i can see how she might be left with a sour taste if they now don't treat her the same. Particularly if the plans are roughly equal to the types of events your sister has participated in before.

It's not that they're not treating her the same, it's that the OP made an error so would explain this.

Instead of telling the bride’s friends to pay or thinking about yours and your family’s finances just ask the bride to pay her own way.
If she’s can’t afford it she doesn’t do it. Simple.

@Hatedhen this is the message to use. You should not be out of pocket for this.

Yes and that's why the op needs to say to the group- xxx told me you all pay for each other's travel. I didnt realise this & the cost of the ticket is £75 divided by 10 (or however many)

If this is how they do things in this group & others have had their train tickets paid for then i really dont see an issue.