Termination of pregnancies - too willing to terminate, maybe there are other choices?

[Ilovepastafortea]

I have trouble with the issue of terminating pregnancies.

For context I had 5 miscarriages & 1 baby born 'sleeping' at 29 weeks.

Also 2 of my (3) husbands were adopted-well DH's mother was adopted in the 1920's. The point is if abortion was available in 1963 & 1926 neither of them would have existed. Their childless mothers wouldn't have had babies to love & care for.

If my first husband had been aborted my lovely son wouldn't exist. He killed himself at the age of 32 leaving me with a baby. But at least I had my baby which was part of him.

If my DH's mother had been aborted my 3 lovely step children & 7 gorgeous grandchildren wouldn't be here. Both of my step sons served in the Royal Navy - one in special forces & got his Green (Marine) beret. My Step daughter is a nurse & worked in A&E for many years, is now a Matron. She has saved many lives & made a difference to many other people's lives including taking unpaid leave to be there when her grandmother was dying.

But then I understand why some people do it.

I can particularly understand it if the woman has been abused or raped - who would want to bring their abuser's or rapist's child into the world. I get that.

I just wish that they would think about having their unwanted baby adopted so that someone who can't have a baby can love & care for it.

My heart goes out to those with an unwanted pregnancy & facing this.

I don't know what I'd do to be honest.

I have no doubt that most women terminate a pregnancy after much heart searching & grief. However, I also hear about women who are terminating their 3rd or more pregnancies & using it as a method of birth control.

So brings me around to AIBU to ask if people terminate a pregnancy number 3 or 4 are being unreasonable?

Or not.

Just canvassing opinions.

Because she's not displaying enough shame, presumably.

Nailed it. Spot on.

The only people you are punishing by making women have babies they do not want is the child once it is born.
There are worse things than death.

This. I hate the whole adoption of babies thing in America, it's like a baby market.

Abortions did exist in the 1920s and 1960s.
Just not legal ones.
Abortions have always existed one way or another.
Personally I don't think I could ever have one unless it was for severe medical reasons - but there's no way I would stop another woman having one.
That's not my decision. It's theirs.

I do. Plus believe it or not I’m allowed an opinion. I said there were certain circumstances and the law allows this.

Do you agree with an abortion at 35 weeks. No reason. Just because it’s suddenly not working out for mum? What about 39 weeks? Do you have a limit?

So they are grieving the future they had imagined/dreamed of, not the loss of their child/baby/foetus?

Do you agree with an abortion at 35 weeks. No reason. Just because it’s suddenly not working out for mum? What about 39 weeks? Do you have a limit?

How often do you think these scenarios actually happen?

I don't think it's appropriate to make comment or judgement on the number or reason for a strangers (or anyone's) termination.

You should do what feels right for you and let others do the same.

I do not doubt for one second that the uptick in these threads recently has been in part a reaction to recent news articles, and also because there seems to be a concerted effort by certain groups to erode a woman’s right to choose. The state of things in America right now should give us all pause. It could easily happen in the UK.

OP, I’ve had abortions and I’ve had miscarriages. I feel much the same way about both sets of circumstances: they were not meant to be. If you don’t like abortions, don’t have one.

Do you really think there are hoards of women at 35 weeks pregnant deciding on a whim to have a termination because they've had enough? That they're fed up because their feet are too swollen for her shoes? Really?
Don't be daft.

Well both, I imagine. The point is that their perception is different. It’s perfectly possibly for someone to grieve their much wanted 20 week old foetus, and for someone else to be relieved that they no longer have to carry their 20 week old foetus. It’s still a foetus.

Most abortions in the UK are carried out in the early stage, using pills.

Im pro choice so I have no limits, none.

Canvassing opinions for what? Are you writing an article about abortion? It's none of your business

You cannot legally terminate a pregnancy after 24 weeks for ‘no reason’

However, if medical professionals have deemed there to be significant implication to either the life/mental health of the pregnant person or the fetus has a condition that would significantly impact its quality of life.

People aren’t deciding at 35 or 39 weeks to have an abortion just because they can’t be arsed.

“I find the issue of pregnancy termination difficult. For context, I’ve had five miscarriages and one baby born sleeping at 29 weeks.”

But the reason you’re free to keep trying to conceive after such heartbreaking losses is the same reason another woman should be free to have as many abortions as she chooses: bodily autonomy.

If the government ever tried to ban women with a history of miscarriage or stillbirth from trying to conceive—on the grounds that their pregnancies might end in the death of a foetus or a baby —I would fight just as fiercely for your right to make decisions about your body as I would for a woman choosing to end a pregnancy.

For the record, I had 3 miscarriages, an ectopic pregnancy and can no longer have babies due to a horrific and botched delivery, but my own experiences haven’t changed my views on bodily autonomy.

Indeed. There seems to be a concerted effort to make out that most women are having abortions at 35 weeks.🙄

So a person having multiple abortions on the NHS is not something that should ever be addressed? I actually know somebody who couldn't get an appointment until very late as they were so fully booked at which point she felt it had gone too far so continued the pregnancy

It’s really weird. There’s scarily loads of kids on tiktok with similar views. Yes British ones. You know it’s not ‘just’ the parenting. It’s only the trashing of a women’s health and body. Two years really written off. Risk of death and long term injury. And for a child who you want to abandoned at birth. It’s quite cruel really. To everyone involved.

Random, baiting, click bait. There always one, usually from outside UK, popping along for a wind up

Nope I was answering a question regarding a cut off. There seems to be a difference for most people.

It's just a regressive attempt to control women's bodies and, of course, shame their behaviour.

As early as possible, as late as necessary. After 24 weeks, there has to be a significant risk to the health of the mother or the baby for an abortion to be authorised. Would I want to force a woman to give birth in those circumstances? Absolutely not. Would you?

No. I think it’s just me who said that. I have zero control. I don’t want it. I just can’t say I’m pro choice when I feel there’s a point it’s not an abortion.