Over familiar shop assistant

[StinkyCheeseMoose]

I had a bad attack of internal rage today.

Apart from a bit of snippiness - which the subject of my rage quite possibly didn't notice - I managed to keep it to myself.

I work in an office close to the high street of a small town. Every lunchtime I walk into town to buy my lunch and take it back to the office.

On my way back, I go into the newsagent to buy a newspaper and a flake.

The shop assistant is murderous-thought inducingly annoying. She is the kind of person who speaks to her elderly customers in a higher than usual sing-sing voice and seems to think that a bit of patronising chit-chat should be part of the service.

My annoyance started to accelerate a few weeks ago. I had bought a sausage roll from Greggs before I went into the newsagent.

"Oooo! That smells nice, what are we having for lunch today?" She asked.

I decided to ignore her question and paid for my paper and flake.

A few days ago, the weather was colder than had been forecast (unfortunately, the heatwave everyone else seems to be getting has passed us by). It was cold and windy and I wasn't wearing a jacket or cardigan.

"Oooo! Aren't you cold dressed like that?" She asked.

I ignored her question and paid for my paper and flake.

Yesterday, I put my paper and flake on the counter and waited to pay. As she picked up my flake, she said:

"Oooo! You really love these, don't you? You'll look like one soon if you aren't careful"

Am I unreasonable to expect a shop assistant to respect my privacy, not to quiz me on what I am having for lunch, comment on what I am wearing or what I am buying?

I don't mind a quick "It's a lovely day today" type of interaction, but all I actually want from her is quick and efficient service.

Some people especially elderly don’t see or speak to anyone all day and her chatting makes their day so maybe that’s why she does it. Mind you she must be thick skinned to try talking to you with your miserable persona. How about you try a different shop

My first thought would be that there was a Mr Universe competition taking place nearby.

"Where's me bleedin' bullworker, baby oil and leopard kecks?" - John Coope Clarke

You’re rude!

If it annoys you so much im sure you can pick up a flake elsewhere 😄 🤣 its funny as I live in the north east of England and we are all like this, it's just making conversation

You’re brave 🤣

I buy a newspaper! I dread the day when they stop printing them.

But those are ACTUAL personal questions 🤣🤣🤣

I Too struggle to make friends. Take a lunch box.

A fucking sausage roll! Obviously. It’s not what anyone actually admits they’ve eaten is it? And judging by the responses on here about how bad it is to have a sausage roll and a flake in one day I can see why OP didn’t want questioning about her food choices tbh. Actually, I don’t care because I haven’t felt embarrassed since about 2007 and I’m slim so no one says shit like this to me because the misguided assumption is that I’m healthy but I know lots of people that wouldn’t have wanted to admit they were eating that especially if it were still in the bag and some nosey cunt in the shop sniffed it out at 3.000 paces. My response would have been something along the lines of “Ooh you’ve got a good sense of smell or (flake comment) I’ll still look better than you” etc etc but I know the roasting that will get me on here.

You'd be right, @Drowninginconfusion . The thing is that you can smell the sausage roll. In spite of the OP's clear latent hostility towards this person, and rejection of their social interaction, she still goes into the shop daily, seemingly unable or unwilling to seek alternative purchasing situations.

I’ve been reminded of this (Northerner terrifies Londoners by saying “Morning”

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PT0ay9u1gg4

So she’s a bit friendlier than you’d like, I can’t understand why this would bother you so much. Personally in think she sounds nice.

There's a receptionist at our local GP who talks to elderly people this way. The other day when giving an older woman paperwork for an appointment at another clinic she was saying "Here let me clip them together for you so you don't lose them! Now don't forget to take this with you!" in a slightly too loud singsong voice. When the woman left she turned to the other receptionist with an oh so sweet smile and chuckled condescendingly as you would about a naughty child "There's no way she's going to remember those!" the other woman just ignored her, thankfully.

Your assistant sounds obnoxious, but on mumsnet you can be obnoxious and even downright rude so long as you say it with a sweetly malicious smile and don't actually (shock horror) fucking swear.

If it's any consolation I doubt she actually cares about your coat or flake consumption rate on a personal level.

We're constantly hearing about how shit customer service is and how staff don't care about the customers who pay their wages.

I'm afraid customer service isn't about facilitating a transaction for goods and services politely, it's about unforgettable, personal experiences, ego stroking and being there for others to offload their frustrations at just about anything to.

Thank you for your responses.

To be clear, I don't ignore this woman, I ignore her impertinent questions. I greet her on entering the shop, engage in chat about what's in the news and the weather and thank her for serving me, just as I do in any shop.

However, I draw the line when she makes her small talk about me and my personal choices which have nothing to do with her.

I have never shopped anywhere else where assistants behave like this woman. Her colleagues don't behave like it either, so it is not a culture dictated by the shop management.

I think she is being over familiar with a stranger and it's not acceptable.

Those people who think I should shop elsewhere or invest in multipacks of flakes and read the news online are missing the point. I should be able to use the shop conveniently situated close to my place of work without being quizzed about my personal choices by a complete stranger.

I bet your fun at parties.

So you do greet her and engage with her chat? Ok. That wasn't clear. So the murderous thoughts are just in relation to her "impertinence"?

Is "what's for lunch?" really a personal question?

I greet her on entering the shop, engage in chat about what's in the news and the weather and thank her for serving me

I think you’re giving mixed signals then. If you enter a shop every day and engage in general chit chat, then it’s expected that it’ll eventually turn a bit more tailored.

She probably thinks you have a dodgy hearing aid as one minute you’re chatting and answering questions and the next minute your face glazes over because you’ve taken umbrage at a specific question!

Perhaps you should make it clear to her that you are following Article 5 of the 1929 Geneva Convention and whilst captive in her shop you are only required to give her your name, rank and serial number.

bring back the laugh reaction!

Not just personal, but impertinent 😳

😂😂

Quizzed

🤣🤣🤣

Honestly I don’t know where these women are in real life. At work if I walked in and said “Can you believe the woman in the shop commented on the smell of my lunch and asked what it was when it’s clearly concealed in a bag.” Every single one of my colleagues would laugh and say something along the lines of ‘nosey cow’. I genuinely don’t believe all these people would be okay with it. I buy a Costa every single day I’m working at a particular school. It’s really a waste of money, I could take a flask but I like the 10 minute walk and the act of buying it and I can afford it because I don’t work in a shop for minimum wage 🤷🏻‍♀️ enjoy your overpriced flake.