to not understand Christians who have sex/live together before marriage then marry in church?

[onlytwo]

Posting here because I am genuinely confused and not trying to offend anyone.

I keep seeing couples who describe themselves as Christians who have been living together for years, sometimes with kids, then they get married in church with all the religious vows etc. I thought one of the key Christian teachings is no sex before marriage yet it seems really common that people ignore that part but still have a big church wedding.

AIBU to think it is hypocritical?

The Mary/Joseph relationship has always been a bit muddled. Were they married? Living together unmarried? She is supposed to have been a virgin but then she got with child and Joseph stayed with her and they dudnt marry? Or were they married but they didn’t have sex?

so many questions!

Do you mean the vast majority of people who have church wedding who aren’t religious it want the traditional wedding/ christening / school place

Or practising Christians?

Well books that were written thousands of years ago I presume if people lived 100% like ot says they would all be living very different lives, no technology, no modern employment, basic clothes and food no contraception etc.

Your last paragraph is one I’m gonna steal from you.
it could be used many times to people who will not see…

The 'Christian' God is the same God that the Jewish people worship too. They are His chosen people who are human too and fall short of the glory of God, same as any of us.

YABU.

Aren't there many denominations of Christianity? They don't all believe the exact same and they don't hold the exact same values either. Christianity is too broad a term to say that all Christians do no believe in living together and having sex before marriage.

I am totally against any form of anti-semitism but in this context I can't see any.

Who cares? The less people follow religion to the letter, the better. Imo religion is the most baffling thing about the human race. We read something in the newspaper and know to take it with a pinch of salt, but read something written over 2000 years ago by people who had no understanding of the scientific world - believe every word. Utterly fascinating and terrifying at the same time.

I don’t put any thought at all into other people’s religion or sex life.

I think Protestants believe they did not have sex before marriage (obviously as Mary was a virgin), but did after their marriage because there is a reference to Jesus's brothers and sisters.
I think Catholics believe they never had sex and the brothers and sisters could be some kind of cousins or neighbourhood children.

I don't think it matters very much. If you can accept that she was impregnated by the holy spirit, what happened afterwards is not so important.

I welcomed the law Gyles Brandreth introduced when an MP that extended the places marriages could take place in.

I think for some the idea that a wedding can only be in a church remains and for some it may be to please relatives.

So? What’s wrong with that?

Besides, many Christians say they follow the New rather than the Old Testament, yet the ban on "fornication" is in the New Testament (unlike the ban on eating shellfish, wearing mixed fibres etc.).

Big "if"!

Which denominations DO believe in sex before marriage and cohabitation.
I know most mainstream UK ones accept and tolerate it because it's totally normal in our society, but actually believe in it?

Fornication generally refers to consensual sexual intercourse between two people who are not married to each other. When a married person has consensual sexual relations with one or more partners whom they are not married to, it is called adultery.

fornication literally means sex before marriage

I get what you are saying but I think there is a difference: from what I’ve seen, in Islam and Judaism, people who do things outside traditional teachings (like dating before marriage) do not usually claim it is okay according to their faith, They know it’s against the rules and might say they are not perfect or they are struggling.

But with Christians, it often seems like living together or having sex before marriage is treated as totally fine and compatible with their faith even though traditional Christian teachings say otherwise.

Also, smoking is not really comparable. It is not mentioned in the Bible, Quran or Torah, and it is more of a health issue than a moral one in scripture. My question is specifically about behaviours like premarital sex which are directly addressed in religious texts.

Have you read the Bible OP? In full? Are you not running about how God murdered poverty-stricken babies? How he had young women gang raped and murdered? What about nasturbation? God said that wasn’t cool supposedly, where’s your thread on that?

How about the bit where women who don’t bleed on their wedding night get murdered? Are you still up for that? Shall we demand Christians enforce that?

Don’t cherry pick. You either support the Bible in its entirety or you shut the fuck up and worship privately.

That is the “modern” meaning of the word.

Sadly, a lot of Christians do not follow traditional teachings.

"But with Christians, it often seems like living together or having sex before marriage is treated as totally fine and compatible with their faith even though traditional Christian teachings say otherwise."

I don't think this is true.
A practising Christian will know that this is not what they're 'supposed' to do, but will be realistic about it as will the people around them.

Well, obviously he might have said that he wasn't a big fan of oranges but liked a large glass of red with Friday night supper. Im sure he had opinions on all sorts of things.

But none of the accounts of his life mention this whereas they made quite a few notes on the importance of kindness, justice and forgiveness. So I'm guessing he didn't bang on about it.

Who knows?

The current meaning of the word is more relevant to the discussion that its etymological origin.

I was always brought up with the idea that Christianity is for sinners and you get forgiven your sins through belief in Jesus

I also was brought up being told a marriage is between the couple, the ceremony is just about inviting gods grace into the marriage. Probably explained that badly. But more like a rubber stamp of what's already occurring between people..

OP, what you are describing here is the ideal pastoral outcome from a Christian perspective. Where you see hypocrites, most Christians would see a couple who are in a loving committed relationship (already one flesh), who presumably have drawn closer to God over time and have now decided to ask God to bless their relationship and dedicate themselves, their relationship and their family to following Jesus. Christians recognise there are many different paths to building God's new creation together.

I find that people outside the church are often a lot more judgemental of everyday imperfection than actual Christians, perhaps because they don't understand that forgiveness and mercy are a fundamental part of trying to be more like Jesus. Why don't you spend some time around Christians or in a church to see what it's like in practice? Everyone is welcome

Well yeah, we’re speaking modern English, so it was translated into modern English.