to not understand Christians who have sex/live together before marriage then marry in church?

[onlytwo]

Posting here because I am genuinely confused and not trying to offend anyone.

I keep seeing couples who describe themselves as Christians who have been living together for years, sometimes with kids, then they get married in church with all the religious vows etc. I thought one of the key Christian teachings is no sex before marriage yet it seems really common that people ignore that part but still have a big church wedding.

AIBU to think it is hypocritical?

Surely it is down to personal opinion as everyone interprets things differently - no right or wrong

@OP,

1. What you believe is the opinion of one person. It may chime with some, it will not do so with others. It means little, except to you.

2. When you mention 'the church', which one do you mean? Because I trust you are aware that there are thousands, and many hold far more liberal views than you do. You claim 'tradition' - and yet there are many traditions which have been abandoned for very good reasons. Slavery, the non-enfranchisement of women, the legality of beating women and children - all of those things have been reviewed in the light of evolved thinking and have been abandoned. The 'traditional' view of premarital sex is just as much up for debate and discard as any other.

3. You keep referring back to the Bible - what it says is a matter of interpretation. This applies very much to the term 'sexual immorality', and that is evident from the way different religious denominations interpret it,

Again I ask you: what, other than your own personal belief, proves that what you believe is the only correct version?

Have you been using an AI to write your posts, @onlytwo?

The Bible was written to reflect the society of its time and things do change. And actually elements were changed over time to reflect the parlance of that time. There's a lot of things up for interpretation, especially considering it was written originally in Aramaic.
Nowadays when two people live together it's technically a common law marriage so is it really even a sin?
There's also a fair amount there about not judging others and loving eachother too. I'd say that's a bit more important.

Why does anyone think there is anything wrong with sex before marriage?

They think sex is for procreation and that procreation is only acceptable within marriage.

I agree but also that’s you picking g what is important to you. Just as others pick the no sex rule as more important to them.

The moral teachings of the Bible should not be discarded as society changes. From a Christian perspective, the Bible’s moral principles reflect God’s unchanging character which transcends cultural shifts.

While there are differences in how words and expressions evolve in translation, the consistent message of Scripture on core issues like marriage and sexual ethics has remained remarkably stable across centuries of Christian teaching. That consistency suggests these teachings were never intended to be temporary cultural guidelines, but a framework that is timeless.

Regarding common law marriage, it may be recognised by society in some places but it is not the same as a covenant marriage established before God and community. The Bible teaches that marriage is a deliberate, public commitment not just living together over time.

You’re absolutely right that Scripture calls us not to judge self-righteously and to love one another but love in the biblical sense also involves encouraging each other to live in ways that honour God’s design.

Have you got Chat GPT or another AI to write this post, @onlytwo?

Can you not think for yourself?

Society doesn’t work like that and there is absolutely nothing wrong in a loving relationship having children without a marriage or children and then marriage.

i Know.

Ooh there are a lot of posts about men going off and procreating with someone else and leaving their partner as it is more difficult when it involves a divorce (though not impossible).

I understand what you're saying but I'm not saying the moral teachings are discarded. I'm saying they evolve.
So take your point about fornication. As said before on this post, fornication is moreso sexual immortality. I personally took this as don't sleep around and have one night stands that mean nothing.
We were given two commandments from Christ Himself which are essentially Love God and Love eachother. Yes we read the Bible, yes we study it in school but trust me there's a lot more to it than understanding what each and every passage in the Bible means.
Your response reads a little like AI, are you using AI? If so, why?

Yeah, that's definitely written by AI. I've seen so many job applications in that same style lately. They are binned.

It’s ironic that @onlytwo was telling us that her philosophy is super-clear and consistent. So clear that she has to get a robot to explain it.

I actually find it hugely insulting and disrespectful that many of us on this thread have been trying to engage honestly and open with her, whereas she’s just typing stuff into ChatGPT and getting it to churn out robotic answers.

I also think it’s hugely disrespectful to not answer the questions about AI, even when the answers are very clear to anyone with their own opinions and intellect.

The moral teachings of the Bible should not be discarded as society changes. From a Christian perspective, the Bible’s moral principles reflect God’s unchanging character which transcends cultural shifts.

Christians are people who follow Christ's teachings and message.
If you read the New Testament, you will read that Jesus did plenty of things that it could be said changed things, or went against bits you can quote from the Old Testament.
He was the absolute advocate of doing "what is right" rather than doing "what is written in an 'older' rule book". He upset a lot of elders and upstanding citizens in doing so.

I did read them.

I disagree with your interpretation of them.

given that the OP is likely from the mid-west of the USA, it's not really surprising she is a fundamentalist wrt christianity.

I have used AI to research and find Biblical references across different versions of the Bible. I have also used google to do research.

Have you used AI to write your actual posts? Because they read like that.

And clearly you have not taken the time to think critically about what AI has fed you, or considered alternative perspectives in any way. It's not a good look.

OP what you have done is offensive and disrespectful. You're discussing a faith and people have been open and honest with you and really engaged.
I hope you have a good evening but I won't be engaging anymore.

Are you completely sure you haven’t used an AI LLM to create your many four paragraph posts that all contain ChatGPT tell-tale markers like saying consistently “Yes, you’re absolutely right that..” and “I understand that…”?

And have a look at the sequence of posts that you posted today at 09:54, 09:56, 09:57, 09:58, 10:00, 10:01 and 10:05. You personally composed and posted those seven posts in an eleven minute period, did you?

It fits to the exact same extent that marriage by a divorced person fits. Even if it was true that in an unfallen and sinless world, everyone would be heterosexual (this is by no means certain but can't be proven either way) the world is as it is, some people are gay, it is not a choice, it is a fundamental part of how that person was made, it cannot be unlearned or repressed, conversion therapy attempting to do so causes huge damage. St Paul acknowledges and affirms that not all are called to celebacy and it would be wrong to attempt to live celebate if that is not your calling, and that being so, it is better to marry. It is not possible to recieve that teaching from St Paul, and to also understand that being gay is not a choice, and still not support gay marriage - you either have to reject Paul's teaching or have to take the homophobic and frankly ignorant view that being gay is something that one can choose to overcome.

I’m with you on much of what you write, and I post as a genuine agnostic. But you lost me here - none of us can know anything about what follows death.

Atheism is as much a belief system as various religions, with its own axioms. These happen to fit well, at least superficially, with the modern approach to life. But as I posted yesterday I know personally and further know of enough excellent examples within the world scientific community to be cautious. Some have come to religion through science, and these are world class people.