to not understand Christians who have sex/live together before marriage then marry in church?

[onlytwo]

Posting here because I am genuinely confused and not trying to offend anyone.

I keep seeing couples who describe themselves as Christians who have been living together for years, sometimes with kids, then they get married in church with all the religious vows etc. I thought one of the key Christian teachings is no sex before marriage yet it seems really common that people ignore that part but still have a big church wedding.

AIBU to think it is hypocritical?

Blimey 😂 Do you really believe that?

YANBU. I agree with you, OP. Couples living together and having sex out of wedlock makes rather a mockery of being a Christian, since Christians are supposedly meant to be followers of Christ and following biblical teaching.
That also applies to all same sex couples, married or otherwise, as the Bible strongly condemns all such relationships.

When I was growing up, the phrase "living in sin" was used to describe couples who were living together but not married. It was highly frowned upon and there was strong social pressure not to do it. Most people married young (late teens or early twenties) in those days, including me and my siblings, probably almost exclusively for that reason.

Society has moved on nowadays, but the Christian religion is still clinging on, albeit a rather watered-down version.

Deuteronomy 22:13-21.

If there is no proof of her virginity (by bleeding) a woman gets stoned to death by the men of the town.

You believe it to be a sin. That doesn’t make it true, it is just your belief - admittedly a belief shared by many, but still just a belief.

Respectfully, you really do need to understand the Bible, its history and context, otherwise you will get all mixed up in misunderstanding, as you have demonstrated. Not everything in the Bible was meant to be an instruction that is applicable to
us to follow to the letter today. Understanding this is key to understanding why, for example, we don’t condone stoning people to death.
The Bible actually says in one part that ‘There is no God’ until you read on and understand the context.

That was exactly my point!! That poster said that there is no historical context or any context at all. The Bible says what it says and it should all be followed. You can’t have it both ways.

I’m struggling to see what you’re struggling to understand OP.

IIRC, President Bartlett quotes ceremonial laws, meant to keep Israel separate from other nations and also symbolise this separation. That was important because the nation of Israel was set apart by God.

The ceremonial laws are helpful for Christians to know about, because they give us more insight into God's plan and character and so on. But the Holy Spirit made it clear to the early church that those laws are not binding on gentile believers.

He might have quoted some laws relating to the sacrificial system. But that whole system, including the temple, was pointing towards Jesus. He was the ultimate sacrifice. So no more animal/grain sacrifices needed.

On the other hand, the moral laws remain exactly the same, because God's character and his sense of right/wrong and holy/sinful doesn't ever change.

Please explain the context? I’ve read the bible and the Quran and I saw no further context over the casual rape and murder of women who hadn’t behaved. Please, give us the context you keep referring to in these passages where God and his followers demand the repentance and murder of young women???

Because only religious fanatics follow religion to a T .

Maybe this was the case in the 50s or something.Maybe not even then as many a "shotgun" wedding happened! I think it is unrealistic today.We were married in a big church wedding ,with 100 guests in a lovely little church in the countryside .The vicar was a lovely man with 4 DC.We attended a marriage course where he said Sex was the most important part of marriage.Nearly everyone I know has lived together or had sex first.It would be strange marry someone you havent slept with first I think.

Absolutely this.
can you imagine a world where sex only took place between two consenting adults in a lifelong commitment? The social problems that would be solved and the hurt that would be avoided would be mind blowing.

The issue is with people like the OP though - they are out there, on the streets, demanding that women don’t have abortions but they have sex before marriage and masturbate. It’s not the ones who follow it to a t, it’s the ones who cherry pick what suits them and then demand everyone else listens to their version.

I had Christian friends from school and a lot of them are married. None of them had children before marriage. I remember learning at school Christians don't believe sex before marriage.

I'm sure many do but I'm certain one of my friends was a virgin before marriage. I also don't think they punish as much as the other abrahamic religion. I don't think they are threatened with hell if they have sex before marriage (but I'm not a Christian so I don't know). I think a lot of it is cultural and no longer taboo any more so people dont see it as an issue. You said people of other religions do things they shouldn't but don't claim to be allowed/accepted. I don't think any Christian has said it's right to have sex before marriage. They know they shouldn't do it and have never claimed that's ok.

I'm pretty anti-religion, but it's normal (and defensible imo) for religious people to reject certain elements of what their ancient religious texts dictate. These texts were written by fallible humans and were inevitably heavily influenced by the culture , laws and social norms of the time.

@onlytwo have you ever done any shopping on a Sunday? If you are a ‘Christian’ (who you expect to obey every verse of the bible) are you ready to be stoned for breaking the Sabbath.
“They found a man gathering sticks on the Sabbath day... Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘The man shall be put to death; all the congregation shall stone him with stones outside the camp.’”
— Numbers 15:32–36 (ESV)

Luckily most Christians have evolved their interpretation of this ancient text and would not endorse you being stoned.

Does is matter is they actually believe it? I just know some explicitly don't believe in it and other don't give the matter much attention.

Sorry but you are wrong. Which bit of the Bible do you want to ‘follow?’ The historical accounts, the stories, the instructions, the poems or the multiple other genres in the Bible? It’s not one book, it’s a collection of all kind of writings spanning the globe and several hundred years.
Not everything in the Bible was meant as an instruction

Yes, biblical scholars learn ancient languages and produce modern translations, but not all translations are the same. So there’s evidently room for some variation.

And it’s often the passages about sex where people claim the Bible is clear, despite differences of opinion about the exact meaning of ancient terminology. The meaning of the Greek word ‘porneia’ (sometimes translated ‘fornication’ and sometimes translated ‘sexual immorality’) is one of these situations. What exactly is being prohibited? The word doesn’t seem to mean ‘sex before marriage’. If churches decide to interpret it that way I suppose they can - but it’s an interpretation that can be challenged.

Or you take the time to read the Bible, understand the genre, the history, the time and context in which each author lived and their personality. Then you can understand how to read and understand the Bible properly.
The Bible is not one book, it’s a collection of books written by many different authors, in different places and across hundreds of years. There are many different genres, not all of them are meant to
be literal instruction, there are stories, poems, historical accounts.
It is also key to understand the difference between the old and new covenants with God.

@onlytwo or how about taking the Lord’s name in vane? Ever had a slip of the tongue and done that? The Bible is VERY clear on that one.
“Whoever blasphemes the name of the Lord shall surely be put to death. All the congregation shall stone him.” — Leviticus 24:16 (ESV)

Gotta say that one would really decrease the population of this country.

Why did you pick the example about sex? None of us need to shop on a Sunday or blaspheme, but we do need to have sex to keep the species going. Why pick sex rather than the very straightforward ancient text re blasphemy?

A lot of PPs are very confident of god forgiving their sins, to the extent that they feel they can blighty continue their 'sinful' behaviour.

The point of forgiving a sin is that the sinner repents, and most importantly, stops the behaviour which is sinful!

I'm an atheist, but brought up Christian, it's interesting to see how many self-proclaimed Christians take the view that Christian moral teaching updates itself to suit modern social mores, or whatever suits them.

I don't think that believing Jesus was a nice guy is enough to claim the label of Christian
It's supposed to involve sacrifice.

Sorry I don’t really understand what you are asking?
I’ve got to go now but if you can elaborate I’ll try to explain later

You don’t need to be married to have sex! Nothing bad will happen to you. Nothing sinful about it.
Sins only exist as a threat in religion to have a hold over you. Do as I say, or you’ll go to (the non existent) hell.

In Christian teachings, sex before marriage, often termed fornication or sexual immorality, is generally considered a sin.The Bible emphasizes that sex is designed for within the covenant of marriage, a sacred bond before God. While the Bible doesn't explicitly use the phrase "sex before marriage," it strongly discourages sexual activity outside of marriage through the concept of "porneia" (sexual immorality).

Here's a more detailed explanation:
Biblical Basis:
The Bible, particularly the New Testament, uses the term "porneia" to encompass various forms of sexual immorality, including premarital sex. Passages like 1 Corinthians 6:18 and Galatians 5:19 urge believers to avoid such actions.

Marriage as the Context:
Many Christians believe that the Bible presents marriage as the only appropriate context for sexual activity. Genesis 2:24-25 and Hebrews 13:4 highlight the importance of sexual fidelity within marriage and consider sex outside of marriage to be immoral.

From AI