14 year old boys are a pain in the ass.

[summerholidaynow]

OMG, the attitude. The flat, 'I-don't-give-a-shit' voice. About everything. Can't be assed. Doesn't care. I'm dreading the summer holidays, just seeing him glued to his phone.

To be fair he does a lot of sport, and goes out with friends. But when he's here, it's like he's doing us a massive favour and nothing we do is right.

There are flashes of the old him, and I know he loves us.

This is common, right? They turn back to human at some point?

I can't help as I'm in the same situation. At least yours partakes in sports!
Mine only perks up at the sound of the word "takeaway". I wonder how long this lasts for.

I don't know, my boys are still young but my eldest girl is exactly the same and she's only 12 (13 soon). It's not everyday, thankfully, but I know it is likely to get worse before it gets better.

I'm sorry to be the voice of doom, but he was a pain at 12/13 but this is supercharged

I watch Kevin the Teenager sketches on YouTube. Makes me realise they were always the same!

I know. I'm prepared for it. Trying to learn as much as I can about teens now as I'm going to have 4 of them (very close in age). I'm trying to find good podcasts and parenting books about teens. It's like going right back to the beginning. Utterly clueless!

You’ve got to ride it out. Find the right battles to fight and let go of the things that aren’t worth it. They’re supposed to do this weird detachment chrysalis thing, they do come out the other side.

14 year olds, regardless of gender, are a total pain the arse. 🤷‍♀️. But, it passes.

Ask him can you watch YouTube or a movie he likes with him or have a board games night (food as bribery) or go on a drive (with bribes!). I see more of our 15 yo this way and we get on great on these sorts of terms!!

My 14 year old is loving this thread 😅

DD1 was like this, she’s 19 now and lovely. I was quite upset yesterday due to a long running problem and DD1 said «Don’t worry about making the tea, I’ll sort it» and then did. A relatively small thing but unimaginable when she was wailing about her human rights to play video games just a few years ago! So there is hope 😁

15 year olds are still a pain in the arse too.

Ooof, 14 is hard 😂 been through it twice with one more to go. I once read it’s because their brains rewire every seven years, so 14 would be a rewiring plus hormone explosion.

😆🤣 human rights to play video games. Love it 😆

hilarious!

Mine turned into a feral little shit at about 14 and a half and it lasted on and off about 12 - 18 months.

My recommendation is don't rise to it, don't get into arguments, but stand your ground.

If he was huffing about dinner, then I would say fine, don't eat it. But I am not doing anything else later. You know where the cereal is.

If he was not wanting to join in with family stuff, he didn't have to. But if we came home with the remains of a take-away etc., then don't whine as you had the choice to come.

On the days he showed glimpses of normality then I engaged with that as much as possible.
On the days he was unbearable, I didn't provoke, but I took up a hot chocolate and popped it next to him

Ride it out. It comes back round.

She really did say that 😁 Also «Why do you keep thinking I need advice? I’m 15 now! » It’s quite funny with hindsight but really wasn’t at the time so good luck to anyone who is still in the middle of it all.

I'm sorry you are struggling, but not all 14 yr olds are like this. DS1 never was, and DS2 isn't (too he still has time).

They do humanize. I think mine was about 16)7 when he became human again

They’re ok by the time they’re 30 ! 🤣

I've had four teenagers - youngest is currently 15.....and they are all very close in age.

They can be charming, very funny and lovely, but you do have to pick your battles! I would echo the advice to find things that you can do together - I am USELESS at computer games, but I used to try and play games with them - that gave them the opportunity to laugh at me with impunity. We insist on eating at a table together, so DH and I would instigate 'compulsory family fun' after supper where we would all play Uno or Dobble - they would moan hugely for the first round but would all enjoy it and ask for 'just one more game' once they all settled down to the sibling banter and it gave them time to let off some steam amongst the schoolwork.

But, parenting teens doesn't start when they are 13, it starts when they are tiny, so we didn't really have any massive issues with them because they knew where the boundaries were and we tried to give where we could and push back where we couldn't....

I was going to say the same, dds are 21 and 20 and were mostly pretty great tbh, no slamming of doors or shouting or rudeness.
Ds is 13 so fully accept he might change but for now he’s good fun and polite and upbeat. Very relaxed about his attitude to absolutely everything but honestly I’ll take that!

Hang on in there! They come back, honestly.
Mine is 18 now and sent me a text out if the blue yesterday telling me how amazing I am, how grateful he is to have me and how much he loves me. And he was fucking vile up until about 2 years ago 😂

🥇

14 yo DS is an absolute delight compared to 17 yo DD! 😳

I'm no where near this yet with mine (although I'm sure it'll fly), but my nephew is nearly there.

Have you found any good resources yet?