14 year old boys are a pain in the ass.

[summerholidaynow]

OMG, the attitude. The flat, 'I-don't-give-a-shit' voice. About everything. Can't be assed. Doesn't care. I'm dreading the summer holidays, just seeing him glued to his phone.

To be fair he does a lot of sport, and goes out with friends. But when he's here, it's like he's doing us a massive favour and nothing we do is right.

There are flashes of the old him, and I know he loves us.

This is common, right? They turn back to human at some point?

The tone. Oh my God. His tone makes me want to slap him alone never mind what utter tosh comes out of his mouth

Mine's 17 and it's just wearing off.

Grit your teeth and ignore it. It will pass.

My 14 year old twin boys are both 50/50 on being grumpy won’t talk why are you still here mum, and lovely nice boys who want to watch tv with me and make me cakes. I can cope if this is as bad as it gets……..

14 year old boys are just hitting puberty. Their body is not their own - it keeps doing weird things, sprouting hair and one bit growing. Their voice is also doing weird stuff and it's all just embarassing and annoying.

They are wondering what it means to be a man in our society - there are so many mixed messages and so many negative messages. Relationships with others seem incredibly risky, open to mockery and rejection.

They're starting to look to their futures and having to make decisions about options at school, when most of them find it hard to choose their own socks. The future looks pretty scary for them and most have no idea what they are going to do with their lives.

Their parents keep telling them stuff that they think is totally irrelevant and often out of date. They try to be polite but sometimes they're just fed up of being nagged. They're not quite ready to be independent but they're not a child either.

Give them a break. Being 14 boy or girl is pretty tough and I was a particularly obnoxious one. Not sure I'm much better now though.

Ì have a 13.5 year old & he's still quite sweet! I hope a flip doesn't switch on his fourteenth birthday....

I hate to say it, I have 15 and 16 year old boys and they are (and always have been) delightful. It's nothing I've done, it's just their nature. I was a horrible 14 year old.

My ds peaked at 12/13, and seemed to have come through it 14 his now much more chilled and pleasant. Don't get me wrong he still huffs and is extremely lazy about things like basic chores but he's not causing us as much worry and pain as he did the previous years.

@Womblingmerrilythe sock thing is easy here, if they're not Nike he's not wearing them.

I think 14 & 15 year olds are inherently self-absorbed - they have a lot going on in terms of changing bodies and brains and their social life is generally more important to them than family time!

I have 5 grown up sons and while they all had their moments, I didn't tolerate rudeness and reminded them that the nice things I did for them (having friends over for band practice, giving lifts, money, phones etc) I didn't have to do and wouldn't do if they were rude, lazy or ungrateful! We always had family mealtimes and often card games after dinner. I always tried to spend 1-1 time with each of them, usually a shopping trip or cinema and lunch out, food and new clothes are pretty good bribes! I think what I learned is that parenting teens is more of a negotiation than a dictatorship and chatting to them about what's going on with school, mates etc over mealtimes helps keep that connection. Mine were often more chatty late in the evening when I was knackered so I'd hang out in the kitchen chatting while they made their late night snacks!

It will pass. It really will.

Yeah mine too only responds to offers of food

Mine is 12 and I already feel like I'm losing my mind. I am dreading being in the actual pits of teenager horse-shittery tbh. Solidarity sister.

Yeah I was gonna say, get this persona hat and a balloon because clearly they are winning at parenting!
Honestly though, not a helpful comment in the least.

Hang in there! It gets better eventually.
When I was tearing my hair out, someone said to me 'But he would be so upset if you weren't around'.
Still makes me cry x

They become human. (Eventually). Promise. I recall at the beginning of year 9 our Head telling us parents 'Trust me... it's crap now but the latter teens is just something we all have to move through'.

My dad was a HT years back and they actually had a separate section of the campus for Year 9s only (note- this was not in the UK and was on a huge school site of multiple acres) because they recognised that 14 and 15 years olds were just grim.

My 13 year ds is currently in this phase of life. I hope it passes quickly. I'm worn out 😔

Keep telling them, referring to tem as a pain and.....
This will pass.

Mines is the same, think he knows better than me and has become so lazy and selfish, he’s pushed me to my limits then I read it’s all quite normal and calm down a bit, my other teenagers weren’t as hard

Mine grunted 3 phrases at me for about 2 years - " sure" ,"I dunno", "whatever ". It was tough but it does pass, now 17 and delightful company. They are hard to love at that age, sullen, grumpy, awkward, smelly..but that's when they need us the most. Feed them good food, buy deodorant, give lifts, get father/male role model to talk about hygiene, shaving, girls/boys/consent...then ride it out.

I was sent a great joke the other day...

TOP TIP: Relive your teenage years by calling your mother a fucking twat, then immediately asking for a lift into town.

🤣🤣🤣 so true!

14 year old boy Mum here, yes I can confirm they are arseholes.
Mine is currently annoyed with me as I’ve brought him on another holiday and “we only went at Easter” there is light at the end of the tunnel I also have a lovely 18 year old DS who now only hates me occasionally.
He also rolled his eyes when he found out we were here two weeks and not one.

😂

I have a 24 and 21 year old. The 24 year old is lovely - still waiting for the 21 year old to become normal again. Lord, give me patience.

12 -17.5years old - difficult times! It was almost like a switch flicked on at 12.5.

Mine are a long way off that age thankfully but I was an absolute dick at that age and still remember it clearly (and cringe about it).
People blame hormones which is definitely a huge factor but it’s also the lack of autonomy and being treated like a child whilst simultaneously being expected to behave like an adult. It is bloody hard being 13/14/15. Probably some of the worst years of my life for me as I was badly bullied and felt misunderstood by all the people I used to turn to (parents and siblings). I remember feeling so so lonely and yet also smothered at times by my mum who was desperately trying to cling onto my childhood.
Hang in there, it will pass. And I’m sure I will be here in 10 years tearing my hair out over my own teens 😅