Overheard new partners parents talking about my looks

[ninetyninedays]

I have been with my partner nearly a year.
His parents live a few hours away so I’ve only met them a couple of times when they’ve visited but I thought they seemed lovely so when they invited us to stay for the weekend I agreed and we stayed in his old room.
I thought we were all having a lovely time, when I walked in on his parents talking in the kitchen asking what they thought of me and saying they were surprised because he hates fat women so couldn’t understand why he was with one.
I was understandably hurt but didn’t let on I heard so I told my partner and we just got our things and drove home while they were in the garden.

I never want to see them again and my partner accepts this and blocked them and we’ll have no more contact.
The thing is

1. I feel guilty that he has cut off his parents for me.

2. Is it true and he really has always hated girls my size? Then were they just making a point and I should be asking the same question and be mad at him?

3. His parents don’t know why we’ve blocked them and will never know because they’ll never see us again so I feel like they have got away with it and not been held accountable. I think he should tell them and then block them so they know the consequences of what they said.
   My partner is just saying they’re blocked so leave it but how is that a lesson learned?

If you are fat, do something about it. Fat isn’t a virtue! They are stating the obvious, you are very touchy. I’ve been fat, hated it. For health reasons I’m now suddenly not fat, I know which I prefer.

This. 100% agree. In life, being human, we all judge and make comments that if made privately, in our own home, is not a sin. It’s unfortunately you heard - I’m sure you’ve said things that you would be mortified if overheard in your lifetime?

I had a feeling this was going to be one of those threads where the OP had no previous posting history. I was right.

I told my partner and we just got our things and drove home while they were in the garden.

How convenient and also weird that they didn't catch you leaving the house with your bags.

If it's true, they were simply saying their son doesn't normally go for fat women.

So simply stating a fact.

It might've been hurtful for the OP to overhear, but I don't think it's any reflection on the parents at all.

It's weird because it wasn't their first time meeting the OP, they knew her body size from previous meetings, so you ld expect the observation to have been passed already, there was no new revelation.

You are a precious and controlling woman. You are a bigger person so either do something about it or accept it. Don't take it out on your partners family because you didn't like a truthful remark that you overheard. How dare you encourage him to cut them off! How rude of you both to leave the house while they were in the garden.Put your red flag down and sort this.

Absolutely ridiculous. As if his parents deserve this. How old are the pair of you? You sound like overgrown - literally- toddlers. Red flags from both of you.

And if you’ve been fat all your life perhaps it’s time to assess how you might lead a healthier life.

Are you 12? 'Cos seriously, you're acting like it - making him block his parents indeed!? He can't disown his parents for the rest of his life, just because you heard a comment you didn't like! I worry about the pair of you!

I agree. Everyone is looking at this in a very surface-level way. It was obvious to me that something more has gone on here. The parents have form and people don’t block their parents over nothing. OP is just not aware of the full picture. This might have just been the cherry on top.

I also think OP has got a lot of grief from other posters here, and HE chose to block his parents and react the way he did.

that is ridiculous. they just stated a fact.

Yes exactly. That really doesn't ring true for me.

I think you're very thin skinned to react as you have. Your DP has blocked his parents seemingly easily. There must be more to it for him. Have they treated him badly all his life?

I think he owes them an explanation, at least.

This ^
They’re his parents. He can’t cut them off over that! Poor poor parents.

The parents have form for...sitting in their kitchen having a private conversation between a married couple, where they comment privately they're surprised their son is with a woman who has a body type HE has always said he wouldn't consider? What 'form' would that be then? Form for talking privately in their own home, (where everyone of us as some point has said something not for anyone's else's ears) Form for repeating their sons own views?
Or do you imagine they're malicious people who sat there making up lies about their sons comments about overweight women on the off chance OP would appear unexpectedly?

Agree with this. There seems to be an epidemic of cutting people off now.

His parents don’t know why we’ve blocked them and will never know because they’ll never see us again so I feel like they have got away with it and not been held accountable. I think he should tell them and then block them so they know the consequences of what they said.

This is really vindictive and spiteful, OP. Have a good think about whether this is the person you want to be.

You have those conversations when that partner is safely a few hundred miles away once more - not when you don't know where they are in the house and might overhear. They should have waited to debrief until after the visit, full stop. You don't get a free pass for being an arsehole when you procreate - it's exactly the opposite.

Anyway, they must have form for the partner to go "we're off" so suddenly and so completely. He has probably been panting for the opportunity for years.

I would not be with a man who blocks his parents over that. It was cruel and stupid on their part, but not the thing you cut your parents off for. Poor from him.

Hmmm well it's certainly strange that they had this conversation after apparently already meeting her a couple of times.

I think the weirdest part is your partners reaction in blocking his own parents. Was he worried they would out him as it’s true? Yes they could have worded the conversation a whole lot better but maybe an adult conversation would have been better.

Wow what an over reaction... yes it probably wasn't nice to hear but grow up and tell them.... I can't believe your partner cut contact with his parents over this its absolutely insane 😳

Complete overreaction! You’re clearly very insecure. You’ve taken offence at a mild comment about your boyfriend’s dating preferences. Sort out your head. Your reaction to this is ridiculous. Your boyfriend is being silly too. Why are you both so childish and over sensitive?

Tell him to unblock his parents and grow up. The only lesson that needs to be learnt here is for you and your boyfriend to stop being so immature.

Why didn’t he talk to his parents about it? What’s with the cowardly blocking? Surely it’s temporary and you’ll be speaking before summer is over?

You’re being very controlling to make him block them for that. You clearly have hang up about your weight. They were not being nasty to you, just stating facts. I am assuming previous girlfriends were slim? Either live with it or do something about it, your boyfriend obviously accepts you as you are already so I wouldn’t worry. Blocking them is a far worse sin.

If he’s 22, I assume you’re a similar age.

Respectfully, life is bigger than this and this is a huge reaction to an upsetting thing.

Explain what they did, let them apologise and move on.