Non-binary teacher?

[Thompson198]

Name change.
I’ve got a 5 year old daughter due to go into year 2 in September. We’ve just been told that the teacher for next year is a non-binary/‘non-gender-conforming’ man who wants to be referred to by ‘Mx’ (pronounced mix) and they/them pronouns.
Quite a few of the parents have already complained and started looking for other places at local schools because of this.
what do you think?
My daughter has SEN and is one of the youngest in her class, I worry how she’s going to be able to keep up with the pronouns and understand this without us having to teach her about gender ideology at her age. My husband is extremely against teaching her gender ideology, especially so young, I’m not the most positive about it either but don’t feel as strongly as him. He also doesn’t want her being at the school in September but they have been very supportive for her so far and I’m concerned it might not be the same elsewhere.
Thoughts? How would you feel if this was your child’s teacher?

But how do you think you're going to explain the concept of 'gender expression' or 'gender identity' in a way that makes sense to a six year old, yet does not fall back on gender stereotypes?

Well, the right way to be a man is to be born a man. The right way to be a woman is to be born a woman. Beyond that, people can do whatever they want as a man or woman.

Gender being fluid can mean anything (another reason for it being thrown to the sharks).
If I think about it enough I could envisage there being as many genders as there are people on earth.

It’s meaningless twaddle that’s being used to put vulnerable and stupid people into neat little boxes. Worrying when it’s the vulnerable, because very often there are there with the best intentions, they’ve found their tribe and they’ll be loyal to the death, and they will make decisions with no concept of the very real consequences they will face further down the line. They will reject family and people who love them the most because anything but 100% validation is abuse and bigotry. Then when they reach a point where they realise mistakes have been made (and this is happening in far greater numbers than reported) their tribe turn on them. It’s vile.

Gender brings nothing but harm.

The issue, as I have said before, is the language obfuscation.

It you cannot teach your children about the sex class of humans, and how to correctly refer to people of those sex classes, how do you maintain those very strong boundaries and the consent around those boundaries? And if you, general you by the way, don't know, how is that applying strong safeguarding.

Loving the fact that you quoted yourself there.

Did you mean to switch accounts/ name change?

Quite

I posted a link early on where indeed a male person with a transgender identity that was not one that was describing himself as a 'transwoman', complained that a bouncer in London asked him not to enter the female toilet.

When a policy is also left very open such as 'people should use services and provisions that they find comfortable and fits their gender' it does mean that any male with any gender identity is allowed to use a female single sex provision.

There is any way to be a man. There is any way to be a woman.

The people telling other people that who they are is wrong are the people who share your intolerant ideology.

I'm truly not being facetious here but I don't know what you want me to say.

I have taught my children about sex classes and I've taught them about boundaries and autonomy. I spent many, many years in therapy learning the best possible ways to try to mitigate the danger of abuse and molestation. I have been stringent in teaching them about safety, consent etc.

And, for me anyway, none of that is negatively impacted by me saying that some people live differently. That some people think any and all talk around gender is bullshit and others don't.

You believe wholeheartedly that language obfuscation can lead directly to children being endangered. I do not believe that.

There really is an issue though where some people choose a 'gender' based on their chosen presentation for that moment. Such as a male person choosing to be a 'femme' or a 'woman' because they chose sexist stereotypical attire and presentation. That is just another example of sexism and misogyny.

Even some trans people don’t believe that though. Some of the men claim to be biological women and apparently some of the more vulnerable girls believe they may be able to grow a penis and father children.

The misinformation and lies propagated by the trans activists knows no bounds. Vulnerable people are the victims.

BTW, what is gender? Apart from a set of regressive sex based stereotypes or an undefined feeling in someone’s head based on zero experience (ie no woman has any idea how it feels to be a man)?

No. Not 'any way
. Because words have meanings.

The way to be male or female is biological. There is no other way.

Thays scientific fact. Anything else is ideology,

And did you mean to name change uothread? I am curious.

That's ok you dont have to agree. This is just how I would approach it.

I think kids in primary school are learning and growing loads and I think its explained calmly and simplisticly I dont think it has to be a massive deal.

And if that is your view you could say something like: when mammies have babies they have boys or girls but just because someone says something is for boys it doesnt mean you cant like it being a girl. You can like what you like and although Mx X was born a boy he feels like he wishes he was able to be in the middle and shows this by asking to be called Mx X not Mr X. If it makes him feel comfy i think we should try and do that, what do you think?

Even if your child says they think its silly thats ok, its good to learn to be kind even when you disagree with someone

The constant conflation of racism with transgender ideology is both a false equivalence & indicates that the person who postulates such an equivalence possibly harbours racist beliefs themself .

Such a thought about Asian or people of colour has never occurred to me .

Men however are responsible for the vast majority ( well over 97% in every culture ) of sexual crimes against women and children of both sexes .

Men are always men , however they choose to present .
Historically thousands of men have taken advantage of ‘special ‘ status to access children .
If we tell young children that there are ‘special ‘ men ‘who ‘ identify as ‘women’ or non binary ( totally meaningless term ) and should therefore be treated differently to other men important safeguarding boundaries are transgressed .

I , for one ,am not prepared to place children at risk in this way .

What is the ‘gender expression’ of ‘woman ‘ please ?

My kids never even manage "ms", theyve resolutely referred to the only teacher using this as "mrs x" despite being corrected, along with most of their class.

I am willing to bet 90% of the class will correctly identify sex and call the teacher sir or mr most of the time.

As a parent I'd go nowhere near trying to explain gender ideology with a 6 year old. I'd simply say "teacher's name is x and that is what you should call them". I think its very important children are absolutely clear on biological facts and do not believe 6 year olds can grasp the anthropological concept of gender and its basis in sex based stereotypes that in western society no longer applies.

I don't believe that 'being kind' should come at the expense of logic, reason, facts and safeguarding - personally.

In the trans debates 'being kind', only ever seems to go one way.

What is the ‘gender expression’ of ‘woman ‘ please ?

This? Its 2025. Men and women can wear what they want, have hair/appearance they want, do whatever jobs they want. I don't really understand how gender is expressed without resort to dated stereotypes (eg "women wear dresses").

ok.

Can you give me an example of how you will have provided a female child to report to you that a male person who they know as Mx, but you have no idea which sex they are, has used the female toilet?

What language can that child use to say, this male person used the female toilet that makes you think, there may be an issue here? For instance, just in passing.

If a female child said, I' saw Mx 'A' in the toilet today'. Does that cause you to question further? Or would you have taught them to say 'Mx A is a man and I saw them in the toilet today'?

ie have you taught them to refer to people as their sex in situations where sex matters, I guess is what I am asking.

I am asking you how you think a female child can raise an alarm even if it is not something they have processed as being an issue, but that you can consider further as to whether it is an issue. Do you understand what I am asking for?

You have spoken about giving them precise language. But what about all the messy stuff where small issues are being raised but the child is using this obfuscating language.

🤣🤣 yes, sadly the dictionaries fell to the activists a couple of years ago.

I’ve got a hard copy from the 90s - it doesn’t agree with you. And no, it’s not a natural progression of language - this is imposed entirely by design and enforced by bullying and manipulation.

I would just follow the child’s lead. Children only take in so much.

This seems like a digression but it is relevant. I have a good friend with a DD who is in fact exceptionally bright. My friend decided to explain the facts of life while DD was very tou g, I think 5 yo. DD listened gravely and seemed to take it all in. Just as my friend was congratulating herself on her own part in creating such a bright and mature child, DD furrowed her brow and said, ‘Yes, Mummy, but how far can the sperm fly?’ :)

I think something similar is going on in this thread. There is an awful lot of concern or ‘concern’ about how to explain something children in Reception simply cannot grasp. A few minimalistic explanations above, including my own, are all they want. Particularly if they like Mx Smith

how you will have provided a female child to report to you that a male person who they know as Mx but you have no idea which sex they are has used their female toilet?

This is an incredibly valid point. There is a safeguarding risk here.

But what about if Mx X has demanded that they have special pronouns or use a singular they/them?

Can you explain what you would say then please?

This is where I have an issue.

A generation of people were raised being told they could "be whatever they want to be" and now some of them want to be a different gender they cant?

Im not suggesting for a moment its good to lie to kids or pretend Mx X wasnt born male. Just that its both true Mr X is male and non binary. And you can explain that if you choose to in a honest, kind and simplistic way. And again id only explain it if my child asked.

Also Mx X isnt trans.

"In the trans debates 'being kind', only ever seems to go one way." - youre starting out with aggression, you're bringing up safeguarding Mx X has to be suitably background checked to the same level as all teachers to do their job. This person's said please call me Mx X and you've jumped to what if they're a child abuser? I think thats pretty awful. But I dont think we'll agree

If the kids are lucky this teacher will not be a complete narcissist (but you have to be pretty self absorbed to get to the conclusion that you are more special than all the other bog standard people rigorously adhering to our sex stereotypes) and shout at them or make them feel bad for getting it wrong.

If they are even luckier there won’t be any kids who are self appointed language police and use this as a means to bully others (also a thing - adults too) into adhering to the ideological belief that their teacher is not really a man but something ‘else’.

Maybe the teacher could just leave his personal political beliefs at the school gate like all the other teachers though?