To be angry with school

[crossmummas]

My daughter who is 11 went on a residential school trip.
She has just come home in flood of tears as she cried each night as she missed us and wanted to come home. I don’t think she clearly said to the teacher ‘I want to come home’ but did say she was homesick and missed her family. She was crying for around 20 minutes.

I am so cross the school didn’t ring me so I could pick her up. I actually only live 5 minutes away from the place she was staying.

I’m not sure whether to ring and ask to speak to the headteacher tomorrow or to write a strongly worded email to the school or if I’m over reacting. It’s the first time she has stayed away from home.

It traumatises me because of the 'u', which should be an 'o' 😆

Seriously? I don’t believe all teachers are nonces, but some definitely are.

Do I believe there’s risk in everything yes? Do I try to minimise it? Also yes.

6 hours at school during daylight? Less risky.
3 days, overnight and no contact? Not a chance.

You need to know when your kid is ready for experiences like this. My daughter school took them to france and before they even I left I knew which kids wouldn't cope and I was right. There trip was delayed and they missed their ferry because of this kid

How old are your kids ? Secondary age ?

How lovely for you, I’m sure you’re very nice. I still wouldn’t trust you with my kids.

They really won’t “hun”

Wow, what a sad way to view the world. And it IS all about you. No normal child would thank their parent for being the one left behind.

Some that your kids would be on a residential with? They don’t ship in adults from outside the school. Seriously…You could minimise it even more by taking your kids out and homeschooling them, it really is hypocritical. Ahh daylight, nothing bad ever happens until nightfall.

Look at you deciding what constitutes a “normal” child or not. You sound delightful.

@MumWifeOther do your kids ask to go to sleepovers or other trips/events they’re not allowed to? Do they feel socially excluded by not being able to join in with these things?

Of course I could, but I never said I try to avoid all risks. There are some that I wouldn’t take - overnight trips and sleepovers are 2 of them.

Way to suck all the joy out of your children’s lives, I’ve seen kids with mums like you, my kids went to school with them…restrictive parenting, not allowed on sleepovers, told what they can and cannot do, lives micromanaged within an inch of their lives till they finally went to uni at 18…the aftermath was not pretty! They were like children who’d never had sugar and then sent to a sweet shop for 3yrs! Over indulgence in alcohol, drugs, sex with any and everything…most of them dropped out of uni as couldn’t cope due to their overly restrictive childhood and not learning to set their own boundaries. I wish you luck with yours..just bear in mind that your feelings of sanctimonious parenting and smugness that you’re a ‘better’ parent than those that allow their kids on trips etc may come back and bite you in the ass one day..hun!

I can’t imagine not being allowed to go to all the sleepovers I did as a kid. Such fun times with my friends. Watching films, eating snacks, staying up late in our sleeping bags and talking. It was so exciting and fun.
I find it so sad that so many children are being deprived of this because of their neurotic parents. Life is full of danger, that’s the reality. You just do the best you can to minimise risks without depriving children of the chance to enjoy normal parts of childhood.

You said some teachers are nonces and that’s why your kids can’t go on school residentials, if you truly believed that you just wouldn’t send them to school unless you were severely remiss.

No they don’t and maybe one day they will, and when they’re old enough I will explain why we didn’t do sleepovers.

You have every right to be angry, we experienced similar but only heard about it 3rd hand through enough parent who asked if my child was ok after being so upset on the residential….
Apparently my child for the 4 days they were away had to be walked around the site after the day because they were so upset, had to sleep on their own in a random bedroom because they were disturbing other children and needed space to decompress.
I had promised my child if they hated the residential I would come and get them, and to give it a go. That was the only reason they agreed to try it, and the school made me unable to fulfil that promise because no one bloody told me.
I raised it in a formal complaint which was upheld by the school, the teachers should have allowed my child to speak to me so we could talk it through and see if an early departure was necessary.
This experience has left last anxiety for my child and other residential trips, they have point blank refused to go on another incase they can’t get back home if they need to.
There is a big difference between a touch of homesickness which can be distracted and a child having an awful time and needing to go early.
I was so proud of mine for trying it despite their reservations and felt that I had let them down by encouraging them to try it. What made the whole thing worse that school were aware that mine is autistic and I had said that the trip was causing some anxiety.

My brother went on a residential in year 6, came back with severe anxiety as a result of school not letting him call home. Definitely complain to the school - they should be supporting children when they’re stressed and missing home. I hope she feels better soon!

Good grief. A strongly worded email?! What complete ingratitude to the hardworking staff who will have volunteered to take your child on a residential when, no doubt, completely on their knees at the end of term, at the end of the academic year. No wonder schools are increasingly struggling to staff residentials!

This is not similar to 20 minutes of homesickness.
You have every right to be upset at the school in your case.

Do schools not make it clear whether the kids will have their phones/a call home etc whilst away?

Surely those expectations are set so they when they inevitably get a couple of days in and are told they can’t phone their mum, they don’t have a breakdown.

Oh yeah, it’s over over night that issues happen. Especially with “nasty” kids!

You’re a massive hypocrite for not home schooling, I mean the teachers that can’t be trusted overnight can surely not be trusted during the day?

Do not, DO NOT keep checking Find my iPhone. As soon as they stop for a few minutes you think they have been involved in a multi-car pile-up. I'm still doing it (DD is 35).

Do you have a daughter who gets manicures and wears named designer clothes?

Op said her child cried every night so I’m assuming it was 20 mins each day, rather then just a touch of homesickness the first night when you would usually expect a child to unravel a little

This is not remotely the same scenario and I have to ask why your child didn’t tell you the issues themselves?