For refusing to change a 6 year old?

[Bernie6678]

So I’m 20 years old, at uni and working as a TA. I want to be a KS2 teacher. This is my first year working with children, I have no past experience, no children of my own etc. Posting here to get opinions from mums.

Anyway I’ve recently been moved from the year 5 classroom (which I loved) to year 1 and there’s multiple children who wet themselves and one of them actually poos himself quite regularly. No SEN. I understand the odd accident but this is happening a few times a week…
I’ve said I don’t feel comfortable changing children as this isn’t in my contract or job description and I’ve had no intimate care training. (Personally for minimum wage I’d rather not be dealing with poo and changing children).
I also think when a child wets themselves at this age they should be capable of going and changing themselves. We have lots of spare clothes and baby wipes here.

I’ve refused so the teacher or another TA changes the children.

Apparently the teacher has now complained about me because she’s having to do it when her previous TA would do it no questions asked. Previous TA has now had to go off on sick leave.

AIBU? They’re 6 years old?!

Totally insane responses on this thread. My guess is definitely not posted by qualified teachers. My DD’s head of pre-prep tells me she is regularly peed and pooped on, definitely in the job description when working with little ones - however well potty trained they are.

I can deduce what entitled people are trying to normalise.

They're employed to assist the teacher with her duties.
They're not employed as surrogate parents.
This utter entitlement needs to stop.

The insane attitude is yours. Time and time (with statistics to back it up) teachers who have been teaching for many years are saying this is a new phenomenon. Children starting school in nappies is not normal or good!

If you read the thread clearly, you would see that guidance states that parents should not be called, so it isn't an option to schools. And waiting lists to get a diagnosis take years. Our trust are currently working through referrals from June 23. Remember those forms are filled in once there is an accepted clear issue, when the DC is 4 or 5. Then they wait years for a first appointment to then get the ball rolling with their diagnosis.

No. Again - who does it in the moment? You does it there and then? OP is refusing to do it so who does??

You can usher in your wonderful intervention plan later but right in the moment it doesn't solve the issue of a child who can't clean themselves.

And if a child has a primary diagnosis of, say, ASD, that doesn't help you with the toileting issues if they are due to sensory needs etc.
Our DD (who if you recall still had major toileting issues in Y1 and a recurrence in Y5) had a diagnosis and medication (as it was a bowel issue) before she started school but it still wasn't resolved within her first two years of school because her bowel hadn't got back to normal. And then it had the same problem again.
Getting a diagnosis doesn't mean overnight solutions!

The duties include caring for children who need it. So a teaching assistant should expect to assist the teacher to do that.

It's really not that difficult.

You are, of course, entitled to feel outraged about it. Most people do I would guess. Doesn't change anything.

As a parent I would have been mortified if a TA had to routinely clean my child up in this way. Utterly mortified.
If a 6 year old is not toilet trained or able to clean themselves then mainstream school isn't the correct place for them, and it's ridiculous that any guidance would normalise this. No wonder folk are leaving education in droves.

It's utterly ridiculous.

It doesn't matter if the parent is mortified, they do not have a choice. If they are for example a single parent they need to go to work. Not everyone has the option of refusing their school place and home schooling their DC. Noone is saying this is how it should be, but it is the way it is.

If your child is routinely having to be cleaned up at school then you need to take responsibility. It's basically neglect otherwise.

No one's arguing that but the bottom line is it doesn't matter. If a child needs care, whatever the reason, OP should still do it.

It needs to stop 'being the way it is'.
I fully support any TA who refuses to do this.

No, she shouldn't.

That requires an overhaul of SEN funding, the school system, NHS, UC etc. Many agree, but it isnt a reality.

Some children do have delays in being poo trained. Usually it sorts itself out by 7 or 8. There's a possibility the need to go signs are not very strong and the child doesn't recognise them before it happens.

You do seem a bit precious though. It's a smelly job but in older children you don't really risk a poonami. Those are the worst

It needs to be a reality.
SEN care needs overhauled anyway.

It is all hand in hand. You cannot insist a child goes to a special school when they cannot access an appointment with a consultant. You cannot insist a child doesn't attend school whilst also insisting a parent must look for full time work.

You cannot insist a TA fills a care gap either, just because other services aren't functioning properly.

I wouldn't do it on a routine basis. But if they are ill/something else going on, suspected trauma etc then I probably would. Although it might be hard to make that call in the moment.

The school can, they have adapted job roles to account for this.

No, they cannot.
Nobody can be forced to clean up poo without adequate training.

I'll ask one more time. Who do you needs to do it? If OP won't?

I suspect you won't answer because you can't. Not without naming another staff member, whose job it also 'isnt'.

They can insist that the role requires the training, if the TA refuses without it.