It isn't really that simple though.
When a child becomes compulsory school age, you have the option to elect them into education, or electively home educate.
Many children with toileting issues will have some sort of SEN, and others will have medical conditions, and some will have both.
When you electively home educate, you basically strip the local authority of their obligation to find suitable education for your child, which is really important to note if your child does have SEN and might require specialist provision.
Once you electively home educate, it's extremely difficult to get your child into specialist provision, which is still extremely difficult when they're in a mainstream setting anyway, but it is even moreso when they are electively home educated.
You can't just electively home educate because your child is incontinent and then expect the LA to find them a place in a specialist school because you cannot cater to their primary need at home.
This leaves many parents of SEN children or children with significant medical need stuck in a trap of sending their children to a mainstream setting that we know cannot cater to their needs because we're stuck playing a vicious game of cat and mouse chasing our tails with the LA to get needs assessments done, apply for EHCPs, fight for specialist provision, getting rejected, applying for emergency reviews, getting rejected again, going to panel, going to mediation, going to tribunal and this is a timely and stressful process, during which time our children aren't getting the support that they need to do any learning, and they're also getting shamed for having bowel and bladder issues beyond their control.
It's also very judgemental to notice that the same children that cannot read or write are the ones having toileting issues, but attribute that solely to poor parenting, when it's actually a very strong indicator of developmental delays.
I'll use me and my son as an example. He's been read to every single day of his life, we have reading hour where we go through phonics, I spend a fortune on additional learning resources, we've been toilet training since he was 18 months old, he's 6 now, we've been through speech and language 3 times, we've had occupational therapy involved twice, we've had the health visitor involved for all of his delays with no resolution, he's about to resit reception for the third year because he has not been able to make any academic progress, but if you talked to him you'd probably just see him as a sharp, but distractable young boy. You'd never know he has a significant speech delay because he can now speak, but it still impacts his comprehension and how he processes the world around him. He can't read or write. He's terrible at phonics. I've called ERIC so many times, I've done their SEN child webinars, I've quit my job to provide additional resources at home, I plan all our outings to make them as play based and educational as possible to meet him at a place where he can learn. I can't stress enough just how much additional work I put in as a parent to try and keep my child as close to his peers as possible, but you would probably see me as a workshy dosser who parents lazily because my child is still in pullups. Parents like me are a dime a dozen. You just don't know what it is that we're going through.
Our children still deserve an education and to be integrated into society despite their medical needs. They should not be kept at home, under lock and key.
Instead there should be adequate provision in schools by law to cater to these needs at the bare minimum to avoid neglect.
You're so right the cost of nappies is ridiculous. Have you seen the price of size 7 nappies? We have had babies born into the family and fully toilet trained while I'm still wiping my sons bum because he cannot do it himself. It's disheartening that he has not reached those milestones that I see others come and do in a fraction of his small life. I wish I was lazy, but it's so taxing having to change your child for 6 consecutive years. It isn't at all what you expect when you pee on that little stick, and get those 2 beautiful lines and start imagining your wonderful future together as a family. I can't imagine anyone doing this because they're lazy. This is not the lazy option.