Scary situation on the train- angry guy

[Barymerry39]

I was sitting in a seat facing the door, and a guy who looked in his 20s was standing at the door for a bit.
At one point I saw him looking over at me quite a bit, so I probably slightly frowned and looked at my phone, I should've moved seats really.
The next minute he shouted 'What the fuck are you looking at me like that for you fucking bitch!'

I just froze in shock and didn't dare look at him again. I hadn't been comfortable with his staring and wanted him to get the message, luckily he got off soon after at the stop but it was scary. What else could I have done in this situation?

That’s horrible and I’m sorry no one else checked on you.

So it was ok for him to scream and verbally abuse me?! Ok 😂😂

In terms of bystanders, I did once see low-level ‘booing’, ‘Hey!’ and a few ‘Leave him alone!’ comments effectively disrupt an aggressive man, who was squaring up to a man in my group. He contented himself with throwing an object (thankfully at nobody) and then going on his way. But it needs several of you to do it.

What? Who deserves to be yelled at by a raging man like that

He verbally attacked a female stranger in a public place, using foul language, with no further provocation than a facial expression.

I am not sure what point you are making, unless you are simply trying to excuse aggression.

Honestly noone will step in because they are too scared of getting hurt. Best carry farb gel or deep heat spray. Right in the eye if you can.

Learn some self defense if things go south. I've been doing self defense classes recently (not saying I'm an expert yet). For a man..kick em in the balls. Never reply on anyone else to protect you unfortunately.

I'm sorry this happened to you. The general advice is to sit in a carriage with several other people where possible and that unless you feel very safe to do so, avoid engaging with someone who is making you uncomfortable. So no eye contact, frowns or tutting. Just ignore. Unfortunately it's impossible to tell whether someone is a nuisance but not actually dangerous, or is someone who can turn and physically harm you, so assuming they're the latter and acting accordingly is safest.

Agree. This happened to a good friend, a man was harassing a woman on the tube, my friend (a calm person who worked with troubled teens in care and was experienced at stopping fights ) intervened. The aggressor got off the train at the next stop, however he had actually got back on in a different carriage, and he punched my friend in the back of the head. Friend was unconscious for some time and it left him with epilepsy and unable to work again.

This.

Probably best to treat him like an out of control dangerous dog, don't look him in the eye get away from him as quickly as you can etc

You did the right thing OP, sometimes it’s just about keeping yourself as safe as you can in the moment, you don’t need to have called it out even though you wanted to.

Its happened to me once, although not on trains. Walked out of work at lunch time once and a guy started shouting, I didn’t realise it was at me at first because why would it be, but then he shouted something about me looking at my phone, and when I stopped at traffic lights to cross the road he came right up close to my ear and shouted ‘bitch’. I was shaking because I was scared, I wanted to shout something back at him but you just never know what people are going to do - he could have had a knife on him or something. He was clearly unhinged, quite frankly he should have been locked up.

The next week I saw another nutter walking up the road shouting abuse and derogatory comments about women, and waving his arms around. It wasn’t the same man, but I crossed the road and videoed him in case he started screaming directly at somebody. It was horrible and so intimidating.

How awful. Moving seats might have made you more comfortable and seems to be the general recommendation. What a world when women can't travel safely!

@Dangermoo The police do nothing! If they don’t have cctv they will not act as there’s insufficient evidence. The women doesn’t know who the man is. Other people (men) keep their heads down. Who knows if the nutter has a knife? No one. So women have to move away. No one will do anything until there’s a serious crime.

I think the police do have some idea who these people are. I saw a man chasing the postman down the road where DD lives. He was shouting and screaming at the postie who was simply delivering the mail. He clearly had an out of control mental illness. This is part of the problem too.

DD1 was once evacuated from an underground train because a man was chanting somewhat manically and the train was halted in the next station. She said the whole carriage had gone quiet. The police were at the station immediately.

There are frightening things that happen but the police definitely don’t protect women without evidence, which, in DD2’s case, was destroyed.

Agree about reporting him, even if now with details of the train you were on and where he left the train.

I wonder if given the aggression at such an early hour he had a hangover from drink or taking drugs.

@LlynTegid And what good will come out of reporting him? No one knows who he is? They won’t follow this up!

Agree they won’t do anything, I reported a man threatening me like actual threats (he threatened to headbutt me) not just swearing (not saying that’s ok) and the police couldn’t care less. I’m not sure what people think would happen if op reported this.

Not excusing his vile language at all he sounds vile, but how do you know he was looking at you, if you weren't looking at him.
You already said you pulled a face or something, don't.

Don't give ppl.the opportunity, he obvs thought you were staring at him, although as said his response was vile and abusive.

I get the not moving seats thing as I've been worried encase that makes them worse! Hopefully there were others on the train who can see exactly what he was like. I'm not sure how they get on in the world behaving like that.

Sorry this happened to you OP but people have been killed for the wrong look.

Frowning may have been a natural response, but will just push the wrong person over the edge.

A case recently of a young man who was punched on the underground for brushing against someone on the escalator.

Never make a face, don't make eye contact and don't engage.
If pushed, play dumb and stay calm.

Using the tube and London buses everyday, you see all sorts and learn not to be involved.

Did you report @Barymerry39 ?

I havent RTFT but I would have got up and walked to the buffet car or gone walk about for the ticket inspector for a bit of back up. CCTV on trains gives me a grain of comfort. Were there any other passengers near by?

The last train I was on (towards Glasgow) announced that the guard would be moving through the carriages, have tickets ready for inspection and that they were wearing a body camera 😱

You haven’t been on train recently have you?!

Definitely worth strolling to the buffet car to have some tiffin and smoke a cigar in peace.