To think that proposing to a man kills attraction, even in “modern” couples?

[ByHonestRoseBiscuit]

We all talk about equality in relationships but I still think there’s something about a woman proposing that disrupts natural polarity, especially attraction. Even “progressive” men seem to respond awkwardly to it.

AIBU to think that deep down, most men still want to be the ones to lead when it comes to commitment?

You think that the existence of some insecure and misogynist men who would feel threatened by a woman proposing to them is somehow evidence that insecurity and misogyny is biologically encoded in all men?

I am guessing that biology wasn't a strong subject for you.

Or evidentiary deduction.

I am guessing humour isn't a strong point for you.

Pick up on whether a comment is serious or not. Emojis can help. I did supply one to guide you.

Proposing marriage and commitment to one woman for life makes no biological sense for a man, as he is restricting his potential to create as many pregnancies as possible, which is the biological driver for males. But we are a sophisticated species and men have other drives which override basic biology. The desire to have a woman that 'belongs' to him, that other males cannot access, who will meet his needs and ensure 'quality' rather than quantity offspring. Obviously some men are more sophisticated still and want the benefits of a shared life with an equal partner and companion.

Thank you….very outdated to say the least!
And what’s this about the guy having to ask her father’s permission? It’s not like he wants to borrow the lawnmower!

Well, I did realise that you thought you were being funny but I didn't find it very funny myself, given that, in your previous posts, you were making all sorts of stupid claims about misogynistic ideas being biologically encoded. I would respectfully suggest that you're the one with a rather challenged sense of humour.

You find misogyny funny. I don't.

Instead of making unfunny jokes, with or without emojis, why not provide a serious response about the evidence for your claims about biology?

I don’t think any man really believes that he needs to ask the father’s permission. It’s all part of the pantomime.

Some people like pantomimes.

To like a pantomime that pretends we're still in an era in which women had no existence as legally separate individuals unless widowed is pretty weird, unless you're an actual masochist.

Listening to all of you (which ever opinions you may have) talk about marriage (and having children) like this is exactly why I have never got married, and would never wish to. Yuck.

I just enjoy the intellectual, fun, and intimate aspects of being in a relationship. I don't need to own someone, or to fulfil a particular role in their lives (or vise versa). All of this stuff is anathema to me.

It’s a pretence. It isn’t true. So, where’s the masochism?

Is that pretend too?

If you can’t see a significant difference between (1) someone who, in the bedroom, gets off on the pretence that she’s being arrested in her knickers and Ann Summers handcuffs, and (2) someone who plays out a fantasy of powerlessness that involves her parents and a major life decision involving a legal contract, then I can’t help you.

It’s about as appealing as the kind of double glazing door-to-door salesman who asks if your husband is at home.

It’s about as appealing as the kind of double glazing door-to-door salesman who asks if your husband is at home.

To you maybe, but obviously not everybody.

If it was, there wouldn’t be so many “He won’t propose” threads on here.

I may be a bit old fashioned but I would never propose to a man .

Those threads, as far as I can see, are the desperate musings of women with poor self-esteem who have drifted unthinkingly into being unmarried SAHMs to multiple children and, deskilled and with low confidence from being out of the workplace for a long time, realise they’ve fucked themselves financially. The hope that their clearly-not-arsed partner will propose is dangled in front of them like a carrot to keep them quiet.

Because women don't want to admit that they asked their partner to marry them. It's seen as desperate for a woman to ask. It shouldn't be, but it is.

Only for a particular kind of woman.

How is the social construct of marriage, which is hugely recent from an evolutionary point of view, biologically encoded in brains that are largely adapted to tlan era of evolutionary adaptation many thousands of years ago? You're talking mince.

Pantomime….where men dress up & pretend to be women 🤣🤣