Do you think smoking weed every night is cause for concern?

[LastPodcastOnTheLeft]

I didn't but since working in a job where we work closely with SS, I'm seeing it raised as a potential issue of children are present in the house.

For a bit of background, we have two kids 7 and 12. I don't smoke it anymore but my husband never really grew out of it!

He makes sure he hides it from the kids but the youngest has noticed that he smells of 'smokers' as our 7 yr old calls cigs, when he comes in.

I think the 12 yr old knows but doesn't care.

He works full time and rarely smokes in the day .

AIBU to think it's not so different from having a few beers in the evening (tbf he has those too)?

Yeah - of course.

The main difference is that it's legal to buy beer. Not that drinking beers every night is all that great either.

But isn't that exactly what @Walker1178 said? Your friend was banned due to driving under the influence of cannabis.

They don’t do weed, it’s for poor people. May treat themselves to a line at a dinner party though.

Weed is illegal and the trafficking and distribution of it iinvolves exploitation of vulnerable people including children. The people your partner is buying are probably nice to him, but I bet they are not so nice to the children involved in county lines etc.

OP I've read your posts but not all the responses so apologies if it's been duplicated -
I work in this field and there's no automatic hierarchy of problematic drug use (ie harmful/not harmful)

The aspects we'd assess, that you might want to think about differently compared to alcohol are;

The mental health impact
Risk of unexpected effects (eg if laced with something else, like spice)
Who he is mixing with to buy it, given by nature it's only available from criminals
Risk of debt or blackmail
Impact on the family if criminalised (eg found with a certain amount)
Potentially the children realising that dad breaks the law, and how that impacts their view of him especially when it comes to discipline

There's no 'automatic' safeguarding that kicks in for regular weed smokers - plenty of parents do it who aren't under SS at all. But those are some points to bear in mind, it's not just about whether you think it's more or less harmful than someone being tipsy. Tbh I would personally prefer cannabis to be legal and alcohol illegal when it comes to the direct effects/harm risk, but we have to consider risk in relation to the current context of it being an illegal drug in the UK.

Just a thought- if he’s irritable without having a smoke could it be the nicotine he is missing if he is smoking it with tobacco? Get him some nicotine patches when he can’t have one and see if that helps and wean off the tobacco??

Well, for a start it is illegal, so his children are in a house where a crime is being committed. But more than that, beer and weed every evening? This man has, at the very least, dependency issues, and at the most full blown addiction. Is this what you want your children around?

It's not good is it.
The link between cannabis use and mental health issues are becoming increasingly clear.
If you work closely with SS you might have noticed the link with cannabis use, mental health issues and chaotic families. If you haven't you are not working that closely with them.
I see literally daily parents who claim anxiety is so bad they can't do x y or z but also always have a joint in the evening or 2 or 3.
Look up the links with psychosis and schizophrenia.
Not harmless at all. This literally is destroying families.

The teacher will know. You can always smell the smoker parent on the child’s homework and clothes.

Smoking it every day would be concerning if he was a student. Smoking it everyday as a parent is bordering on neglect. My 7 year old would have no idea what ‘fags’ were. No one I know smokes anymore. I couldn’t sleep next to a smoker, let alone a weed smoker. He’ll stink. You just can’t smell it.

I believe some people smoke as a way to manage their mental health. It has been shown to be an effective treatment for depression and anxiety when used under a doctor's guidance. Many cultures and countries consume cannabis. However, it's important to be cautious, as young children should not be exposed to it because of its potential effects on their brain development.

Apparently if you only smoke weed it’s called ‘LA sober’ 😂

My partner smoked it when we met. Still uses it occasionally primarily for pain, and sleep but also because he just quite likes relaxing with a joint sometimes.

I haven’t touched it since I was a teenager, not for me thank you, but never been bothered that he does.

For some reason I think I’d be more concerned if he wasn’t mixing it with tobacco. If he was still making those gigantic spliffs, or if he just whipped a bong out on the dinner table I’d probably think he needed to grow up.

Depends on the level/type of use IMO, doesn’t necessarily make it anymore legal but definitely makes it less like a 14 year old in a park.

I think it’s a nasty habit ans not the same as a few drinks. I echo other posters who flag the mental health impact. Could he stop?? I doubt it

I like that!

I know a lot of people where I live who are quite holier than thou about not taking any drugs or alcohol but they are off their heads on MH medication

Oh yes, sounds like a perfect dad just there smoking and casually propping up the modern day slavery and child exploitation trade.

Stellar bloke there, really cares for kids......except, you know, those abused in the illegal cannabis trade.

Actually, that makes your DH scummy and seriously lacking in a moral compass.

A very close friend is a social worker, for the last 25 years.

By far the most problems, both within families and with sole users… is alcohol and alcoholism and often the violence that surrounds that disorder.

You don't honestly believe they don't know. You know they know and they know that you know they know. Stop being ridiculous. You are both being highly irresponsible and you know it.

He can’t relax without it? Massive red flag.
And your kids know. They will.

Yeah, I can’t see much high ground in banging pharmaceuticals myself.

While people may be self medicating, there is a massive difference between ethically sourced and quality control cannabis given with doctor oversight and buying shit off the street that props up illegal activities and modern slavery and may be cut or sprayed with all kinds of shit. And there are people whose mental health would probably be ok if they did not smoke weed but who end up psychotic - I worked with far too many of them, where it was clear that the genie was not going to go back into the bottle.

I do believe we need a proper debate around what we sanction and what we ban. And there is some very promising research about all kinds of drugs - ie. LSD used for PTSD treatment.

But anyone using anything that alters mood every night is demonstrating a dependence at the least. And that may well cause all kinds of problems in the family.

Over and above that, what is this man demonstrating about emotional regulation? That it is impossible to manage your own moods without weed or alcohol. Because yes, that is what we want to teach our kids, right?

As a teacher I can confirm this. Jotters and reading books going back to homes where adults smoke always come in stinking. It amazes me how desensitised smokers become to the smell.

Can’t believe you are naive enough to think your 12 year old doesn’t know it’s weed his Dad smokes, or that your neighbours don’t know!

Yes, in the same boat here.