Do you think smoking weed every night is cause for concern?

[LastPodcastOnTheLeft]

I didn't but since working in a job where we work closely with SS, I'm seeing it raised as a potential issue of children are present in the house.

For a bit of background, we have two kids 7 and 12. I don't smoke it anymore but my husband never really grew out of it!

He makes sure he hides it from the kids but the youngest has noticed that he smells of 'smokers' as our 7 yr old calls cigs, when he comes in.

I think the 12 yr old knows but doesn't care.

He works full time and rarely smokes in the day .

AIBU to think it's not so different from having a few beers in the evening (tbf he has those too)?

Of course your 12 year old will know. It’s not something you can hide by simply shutting a door. I know when my neighbour 2 doors down is smoking weed in his (enclosed) conservatory. Weed has an unmistakable smell and your kids friends will no doubt spot it soon too.
I wouldn’t particularly want my 12 year old going to socialise at a house with a permanent weed addict there.

Presumably your concern is with the "weak will" aspect of the comment - in which case I do agree with you. People with the strongest wills in the world can suffer from addiction - so someone to say it's a question of "weak will" clearly does not understand the nature of addiction (whatever the addiction may be). A very easy example: a baby born to a mother who was taking, for example, heroin, will be addicted to heroin when they are born. That addiction has absolutely nothing to do with a "weak will".

Another example: those people who got addicted to oxycodone because doctors improperly prescribed the drug under the mistaken belief that it was NOT addictive. Withdrawals from oxycodone (and other opioids - morphine for example) are absolutely horrific. They are abysmal - to a degree that someone who has not experienced them will never understand. I had to help a friend of mine try to get off the damn stuff when I lived in the US: They had been sent home after knee surgery with 100 tablets of the stuff. They took the drugs as prescribed - they followed the doctor's advice and post-surgery protocols. And within a very short period were addicted to the damn stuff. It was horrific. They stopped taking the meds when the prescription ran out and immediately went into withdrawal and it was hellish for them. They physical impacts were bad enough, but it was the mental ones that were the worst: They essentially went mad. They were in a constant state of panic, total fear, and under the impression that they were dying and that everyone hated them. Had we not been there to help them they would have quit their job, and broken off their relationship with their partner. We had to call an ambulance and they had to be admitted to hospital. That is not weak will at all: that is someone who's body chemistry has been utterly ruined by a prescription medication.

I would not judge your husband as I see it as no different to people who have a glass of wine on an evening to unwind, which is many people.

However, as my Dfriend has recently found out, when you're a regular user, weed stays in your system at detectible levels for 24 hours. Our driving laws are strict and the level that gets you banned is very low. If you had a joint on an evening and then drove the following day, you'd still be over the legal limit meaning it's nearly impossible to be a regular (daily) cannabis smoker and a legal driver. Just something for your DH to think about. Dfriend is currently trying to manage without his driving licence after being pulled over for an unrelated reason as he'd had a joint the day before. He now knows that he must kick the habit before he gets his licence back as if he gets done again, prison is a possibility.

Agree. It was seen as something the “ loser” - that’s not my words, it’s theirs - teens did when my dx were at school (just a few years ago). The ones with no hobbies or aspirations.
Some teens are mature enough to not want to waste their time, money and brain cells on weed.

The smell of weed was probably why child Q was suspected of carrying some.

Please read this
https://www.uhs.nhs.uk/Media/UHS-website-2019/Patientinformation/Emergency-medicine/Cannabinoid-hyperemesis-syndrome-CHS-2506-PIL.pdf

My brother was a daily smoker and he gradually turned into a shell of his former self, throwing up and spending hours a day in the shower. He was hospitalized several times and we nearly lost him to suicide before he agreed he might have a problem. As the weed made him feel better in the moment he insisted it wasn’t the issue. It was truly scary

Yes, it's a massive cause for concern. He is focused on skinning up, not his children. he is wasting shedloads of money on poisoning his body with illegal shit that could be spent on improving the quality of DC's lives.

You say it's no different from 'a few beers' - but a few beers every night when you have small DC is also a cause for concern - and you say he has those too. He's not in a fit state to parent. Your young children have noticed he stinks of it. He makes an attempt to hide his habit from them, so he knows it's not okay too.

Could he try and ease off a bit?

My husband is a pothead and I would like to minimise the risks - a more accurate title.

As you know (or should) daily use increases your chances of memory loss, impaired cognitive function, increases risk of anxiety and depression and even schizophrenia, increases your chance of lung diseases, decreases motivation and productivity, turns you into an addict, weakens your immune response and is even bad for your heart.

This is all widely known and inarguable.

And their father is modelling this deeply unhealthy addiction to his kids, while you smilingly look on. So yep you are being fairly ridiculously unreasonable.

Kids very definitely DO NOT all try weed or any other drugs, but those with addicts for parents are certainly far more likely to become addicts themselves.

Prediction - you will now dismiss these facts and return to daily life with your addict husband, pretending not to understand the problem.

My first post hidden because I included links to four articles. There are hundreds of articles saying how bad being a pothead is for your health though, easy to look up.

The smell does transfer even when the smoker is doing it outside
It’s very sad when you work with children and can smell it on their belongings such as their school bag, their coats, even their hair. Parents often think it’s undetectable if they don’t smoke it in the house but they carry the smell around on them and it transfers onto items in the home. Especially when it’s a daily habit. They just can’t smell it themselves because it’s ’their’ smell.

OP, I guarantee the smell will have been clocked (and most likely logged) by your children’s teachers.

I’d seriously worry about the potential mental health issues and mental illnesses associated with regular use. The ‘it’s harmless’ brigade should educate themselves on this.

My ex was a massive weed smoker. I hated it. It controlled every aspect of his life. And stunk out the entire house, so embarrassing. Made him so unmotivated. Such a grim habit- and very expensive. I’m glad to be out of that now. Are there any upsides?

Not a problem at all as long as you are a contributing member of society and good person. If he is neglecting his life duties for weed, then no it’s not good.
But I live in Canada where it is legal and almost everyone smokes weed. Most people I know who are doctors, lawyers, government workers, police officers, teachers, etc. all smoke every night. It was the same before it was legal.
It seems like the UK is very uptight about most things, including weed.

And, yep very much a problem since the father of your child is an addict modelling addictive behaviours to them and putting his mental and physical health at risk by doing so.

Oh and PS in Canada where they legalised it, drug-impaired driving offences increased 105% from 2017 to 2020, reports of increased hospitalisations for cannabis-induced psychosis, with an 83.7% rise in psychosis cases, particularly among young men.

Emergency department visits for cannabis intoxication or withdrawal are common, especially among young men. There are also increased reports of pediatric poisonings from edibles resembling candy and schizophrenia rates among cannabis use disorder patients tripled post-legalization, from 4% to 10%.

Youth cannabis use is associated with psychosis, anxiety, depression, and suicidality.

There's heaps more information on this but as mumsnet always hides my posts when I add links I suggest searching for more info if you need it.

Agree. Someone local occasionally smokes it in the garden. I can smell it in our house hours after. Unless they are thick then all the neighbours know and your dh will constantly stink of it. @LastPodcastOnTheLeft you've just gone noseblind if you think otherwise

Tbh I think it is less than ideal to say the least. It's well known to cause MH issues. I smoked it as a teenager. Once you have DC it's a different ball game.you have DC to care for. A little girl fell off her balcony and died .Mum was busy getting stoned! A couple of beers isn't ideal either. Can he try meditation or go running. Also DC will 100 per cent be aware

No but he will lose his license if he was drug tested with daily use. That was my point in replying to OP comment.

Definitely a problem, it's called the gateway drug for a reason. Setting a terrible example for the kids unfortunately, there's no masking the smell so it will be clinging to them also and they may suffer the effects of secondary inhalation.

Yes it's a problem it was a problem bwfore the first and then the second child, do you honestly think this is healthy and yes the kids will probably end up down this path too

And people thinking legalising ot makes anything different really?

So you say you both see it as normal and acceptable because it’s common in your family and social circles.

So you realise your husband is making it much more likely that your children will be drug addicts too, yes? They’ll also see it as normal. Well, that or they’ll see the light and won’t want to be around your dad when he’s smoking or stoned.

I feel for you OP as it’s not your fault he’s an addict, but you are encouraging it so you get a nicer version of him, which isn’t good. Would you also encourage an alcoholic to drink so they’re not irritable?

When will you be prioritising your children over your partner?

You hope your neighbours don’t know???
Are you on another planet?

The whole road will know!

It absolutely stinks and invades everywhere. My entire home gets invaded when neighbours smoke it.

Your 12 year old will absolutely know it’s weed if not very very soon. delusional.

My neighbour smokes weed. He does it frequently and it stinks. Can’t hang my washing out plus the guy stinks of the stuff. Unfortunately they own the property so we have to put up with the odour. Weed smokers tend to think they don’t smell when they do. My son has life long severe health problems and weed is one of his triggers that he must avoid. He’s only been here a week and I’m keeping my windows closed. Will probably have to keep them closed until they hopefully sell up.

Drug impaired driving offences increased in part because they improved the methods for testing and they changed the laws to allow for testing with any suspicion of use. So it’s impossible to determine if the increase is due to an increase in impaired driving, or because they are now testing more drivers with better testing technology.