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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

be outraged by the sexism in girls swimwear and underwear

147 replies

ZippyPeer · 29/06/2025 20:14

At the outdoor pool in my town today, it's one for younger kids. All the girl children wearing close fitting costumes that show the shape of their bums all the boys wearing baggy swim shorts. There's a lot of climbing onto inflatables and on a number of occasions have to look away as I'm seeing much more of a girl than I want to.

Then doing laundry, realised that the girl pants are all thin cotton and the boy pants much thicker and with a broader gusset. If my girl kid is sitting cross-legged in the girl pants there is a risk of getting an eye full, whereas the boy pants do a better job of keeping what's in the pants private.

Why is this and what can be done to make clothing manufacturers stop being so sexist?

OP posts:
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HelsBell25 · 29/06/2025 23:16

@Pinkfluffypencilcase this is just nonsense

AffableApple · 29/06/2025 23:22

intrepidpanda · 29/06/2025 21:30

Could we please stop sexualising children by saying swimsuits and leotards are too revealing. They are not revealing anything, there is nothing to see, they are children. I don't believe a bunch of adults really think like this.

We spend so much time telling our children that their private parts are private and just for them. And then this comment comes along

ZippyPeer · 29/06/2025 23:24

Hoardasurass · 29/06/2025 22:00

Boys underwear have a wider gusset because it's needed to cover their testicles, the material is thicker because it needs to hold the boys penis and testicles in place. Girls underwear doesn't require the additional room for testicles (girls don't have them) nor do they need to be as strong so the manufacturers can use thinner cheaper material.
You can get swimming trunks for girls btw

But girls need a wider gusset to cover their genitals when they sit cross legged/climb things. Clearly the pants aren't doing the job as parents are adding shorts.

So why do you think manufacturers aren't meeting the needs of girls but they are of boys?

OP posts:
Denimrules · 29/06/2025 23:24

Girls clothes are a disgrace and have been on and off forever. As a 60 year old I've seen it all come and go over the years.

As a primary aged kid the skirts were stupid short, as a secondary school kid the skirts were midi, I modelled and hated baggy and draughty crop tops. 90s kids got a break with proper comfy stuff, early 00s were all about pink vs blue and on and on. Basically, never ever have girls tops been long enough except maybe in the 90s. Practical clothing doesn't cater for any tall adult. Men would never put up with this

2024onwardsandup · 29/06/2025 23:28

anotherside · 29/06/2025 23:15

We live in a patraiachal society which women can choose to embrace or show a minimal bit of resistance too. If any of these performers I mentioned were being pressured into dressing like, that they could easily come out as powerful well known names and shame the record labels/individuals concerned.

You are deluded about the reality of the power dynamics at play

ZippyPeer · 29/06/2025 23:28

Thanks for all the suggestions of alternatives from posters, I'll check them out!
I remain annoyed at the systematic issue though and might do some emailing..

OP posts:
healthyteeth · 29/06/2025 23:30

YANBU. It’s the same with general clothing too.

Leggings are the worst for this. So form fitting. Why?!?!

anotherside · 29/06/2025 23:31

2024onwardsandup · 29/06/2025 23:28

You are deluded about the reality of the power dynamics at play

What power dynamics? Adele, Winehouse, Alanis Morisette, Gaga, Billie Eilish (off the top of my head) all made it pretty big despite being more or less pretty average looking and (Gaga aside) keeping their clothes on. I agree it’s harder for women performers to resist the societal/record label pressure in the celebrity world. But women should expect other women to do so, not make excuses for them when they strip off so they can more easily stay high up on the ladder.

Ihitthetarget · 29/06/2025 23:57

It depresses me tbh. Ds asked age 6 'why do boys wear baggy shorts, and girls wear little tight ones?'.

I answered something about we can all choose to wear any shorts we like, but actually wanted to say:

Because there's a perpetual cycle of: women liking to dress to attract the male gaze, men gaze at women's bodies, so women want to show them off, and girls at a certain age want to emulate older teens, designers produce clothes that sell, and then parents (presumably mostly mothers) buy clothes that are available/ promoted/ wanted by their daughters.

The uniform at dcs primary school just says navy shorts for PE. It surprises me that already in yr 3, a lot of girls are wearing tight hot pants, already being socialised that that is what is cool (don't mean they dress that way to appeal to boys, but just a general sense that that is a good look).

I wish more girls would wear board shorts/ baggier school shorts etc.

As a mother of boys, I fight my own battles to not buy camoflage/ little monster type rubbish, but that's another thread.

Denimrules · 29/06/2025 23:59

healthyteeth · 29/06/2025 23:30

YANBU. It’s the same with general clothing too.

Leggings are the worst for this. So form fitting. Why?!?!

I hate leggings, they are so horrible as a look for girls especially.

stayathomer · 30/06/2025 00:02

On swimwear I’d hate to wear what men wear, big heavy shorts- how do you swim? (That’s just an aside as I don’t have girls but yes I’d guess there should be better options for coverage)

TempestTost · 30/06/2025 00:09

I find the swimwear options for girls better now, tbh, mainly I think because of increased emphasis on sun protection. We spend a fair bit of time in the tropics where our extended family is and no way my blond kids could go around in skimpy swim suits.

But overall, yes, the differernce between the girl and boys clothes is stark. I find it crazy that people will tell me their daughters "need" to wear little crop tops and such for running or sports, because apparently they need tiny tight fitting things to do sports. All the while the boys seem to be wearing fairly normal covering clothes.

TempestTost · 30/06/2025 00:15

anotherside · 29/06/2025 23:31

What power dynamics? Adele, Winehouse, Alanis Morisette, Gaga, Billie Eilish (off the top of my head) all made it pretty big despite being more or less pretty average looking and (Gaga aside) keeping their clothes on. I agree it’s harder for women performers to resist the societal/record label pressure in the celebrity world. But women should expect other women to do so, not make excuses for them when they strip off so they can more easily stay high up on the ladder.

An interesting thing about all the singers you mention is that they are traditional musicians, in the sense that most write their own music, or at least have a lot of influence on the arrangements, they also can all really sing. They are artists as much as performers and they aren't interchangeable, they have something special and unique.

Quite a lot of pop stars are manufactured, possibly reasonable singers (though not always) but singing songs written by other people, arranged by others, and engineered within an inch of their lives, their style, look and marketing is all run by other people. Singers like this typically have very little power to start with, and while they might come to have more, they really are easily interchangeable for a new, fresher, more compliant product.

Those people tend to be the ones leaning hard into sex appeal to sell records.

Pinkfluffypencilcase · 30/06/2025 00:25

HelsBell25 · 29/06/2025 23:16

@Pinkfluffypencilcase this is just nonsense

Which bit?

Oodlesof · 30/06/2025 00:52

2024onwardsandup · 29/06/2025 23:07

How are women to blame for clothing which sexualises women/girls?

women and girls are valued for their looks and this seeps through to every part of society - including clothing. manufacturing and purchasing decisions are made as a result of this culture.

Because they buy it when other options are readily available.

Burntt · 30/06/2025 00:56

It is possible to avoid all the skimpy clothing for girls but it most certainly takes effort it should not be this hard. And our daughters should not feel different just because we haven’t sexualised them.

the cropped tops infuriates me. And the short length of shorts and skirts. I buy a lot second hand and my dd thankfully likes boy clothes for some stuff it I hate aged 8 she’s asking why the girl clothes don’t cover her up like boys and asking why. How do you answer that without taking their innocence?!

ByGreenHiker · 30/06/2025 00:58

rumred · 29/06/2025 20:17

Same with adult clothes. Sexist shite, designed to keep women vulnerable.

I absolutely agree with this.

Wearing highly sexualized clothing at any age is no more empowering than wearing a burqa. Both were designed with the needs and wants of men in mind.

Pinkfluffypencilcase · 30/06/2025 00:59

I remember looking for dressing up clothes for dd. The doctor outfit was labelled boys and the nurse labelled girls. I complained.

The sex differences are everywhere.

Pennyforyourthoughtsplease · 30/06/2025 01:00

2024onwardsandup · 29/06/2025 22:14

lots of women are trying to get things changed…and yet, as I said, the patriarchy…

The patriarchy doesn't dictate how you dress your daughter and what values you teach her

Supima · 30/06/2025 01:02

I wear leggings pretty much every day for exercising. Love them. So comfortable. I hate having material flapping about when I’m doing yoga or Pilates.

ByGreenHiker · 30/06/2025 01:02

Oodlesof · 30/06/2025 00:52

Because they buy it when other options are readily available.

Well, yes, sometimes women really are their own worst enemies.

Pinkfluffypencilcase · 30/06/2025 01:04

Not when your budget is Asda.

Compare budget boys clothes to girls clothes.

Ophy83 · 30/06/2025 07:26

Butteredtoast55 · 29/06/2025 21:40

Thanks for the rude response. I don't buy any of these actually, being in my 60s and not having grandchildren. But as a headteacher I've had plenty of discussions with girls who feel they have no choice as they tend to wear the same shorts they wear for PE.
Maybe their parents can't afford, or choose not to buy, a range of pastel shorts matched to their dresses. But good for you.

She wasn't being rude - you said they don't exist, but many shops sell a wide range of cotton cycling shorts

E.g. https://amzn.eu/d/7C9JNS1

Auranso Girls Cycling Shorts Breathable 8 Pack Kids Dance Shorts Under Dress Comfy Childrens Cycle PE Shorts for Girls Age 2-10 : Amazon.co.uk: Fashion

Auranso Girls Cycling Shorts Breathable 8 Pack Kids Dance Shorts Under Dress Comfy Childrens Cycle PE Shorts for Girls Age 2-10: Free UK Shipping on Orders Over £20 and Free 30-Day Returns, on Selected Fashion Items Sold or Fulfilled by Amazon.co.uk.

https://amzn.eu/d/7C9JNS1?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-am-i-being-unreasonable-5364325-be-outraged-by-the-sexism-in-girls-swimwear-and-underwear

MageQueen · 30/06/2025 09:40

Oodlesof · 29/06/2025 22:19

Lots of women don't seem to want change.

If you're blaming patriarchy for this, then I think you need to blame those who were supporting the patriarchy, which in this case, is women.

Which is kind of how the patriachy works .... its a system that makes everyone think x or y is normal and fine, and breaking free of that, for men OR women, is bloody difficult.

I love it when posters try to blame the patriachy on women not fighting the patriachy hard enough. Probalby the same people who blame women for not fighting back hard enough when they're assaulted or are in domestic abuse sitautions.

Oodlesof · 30/06/2025 11:07

It is utterly vile of you to suggest I blame a women for not fighting back hard enough against an abussive husband.

Oh.. and buying a pair of swimming trunks isn't as difficult as you clearly think it is.

One of the reasons why femimidm is losing is a fundamental lack of feminists acccepting that sometimes the cause and solution to some of women's problems are women themselves.