To despise picky eaters?

[Brownoliveskincurlyblackhair]

If you have an allergy or religious reasons not to eat something, fine obviously but grown adults who 'don't eat' something absolutely irk me beyond words. My MIL looked horrified earlier when I said I was making chicken as a part of a weekend spread because SIL 'doesn't eat it'. I have accommodated for SIL but honestly, I was bought up that you get what you're given and eat what's infront of you. It's terrible manners is it not?

Yabu - hosts should cater for preferences
Yanbu - it's rude

Generally yes which is why this has pissed me off, I've made chicken probably about 40 times before for them and suddenly SIL doesn't like it, MIL has a face on and yet again the 'fussy eater' excuse that also dictated BIL's wedding food choices ( because otherwise what would 36 year old SIL eat worried MIL ) has been bought up as though it's a spanner in the works for an otherwise lovely time. There will be loads of food, but it is as I've said a test for how accommodating people will be and I suspect a lot of 'fussy' people are just entitled and used to getting what they want and think their preferences need to be voiced. On this occasion it didn't need any voicing, it's just rude.

Maybe don’t serve chicken nuggets at your next soirée op. 😉

Life is too short to eat things you don't like.

I despise ' I don't eat..' or 'I don't do X' statements because they make the speaker sound like an entitled prima donna. It's normal to have preferences and to say 'I'd prefer to not eat garlic..' It is a choice, if you were truly hungry you'd eat something you prefer not to eat.

I understand there are a multitude of reasons why people don't eat certain things, I think the way you express this is very important.

I don't know really, she just let out an audible gasp and I though here we go again...she could physically see me unloading the food shop I'd had delivered and all of the other items available so there was no need for the dramatics.

I thought you invited people over to share food that they at least like? Have I got that wrong? Was I badly brought up? Is it that you share food that you like? Got it. Thanks.

I have a very limited (picky) diet. Drive my parents mad. However it isn't as simple as just eat it to be polite etc. I would simply vomit it back up. As an adult of we go somewhere without food I can stomach I just don't eat.
But also add the person that has the limited diet it's horrific, and embarrassing and limits normal daily life more than most people realise. Let's go for an afternoon tea.... Can't eat it, let's go for tapas.... Can't eat it, let's go to a lovely Michelin star restaurant for your birthday.... Can't eat it. Let's go to this restaurant we went to a month ago.... Sorry can't eat there any more the piece of chicken wasn't right.
It's a nightmare and depressing

Totally agree! MIL is so weird and rude with food! I get people don’t like everything but I would never outright say yuck. But my MIL is an old miserable chav

I thought they did like it! It's only recently she doesn't. This was said as I was packing away a £300 food shop I've got in to cater for them and they could physically see me putting it away. It is rude

I think you should stop hosting your MiL and SiL. Let your husband do all the heavy lifting cooking wise.

If you can't do something with good grace, why bother?

Mumsnet is full of people who believe eating should never be pleasurable, and who therefore consider it to be their right to force people to eat stuff they don't like. They do exist in real life, too (which is one of the many reasons why I would never attend a dinner party), but the concentration of them on Mumsnet is phenomenal.

I have to admit I do inwardly eye roll when adults are extremely picky eaters. Most people obviously have likes and dislikes which is fine but it is a pain in the arse trying to accommodate very fussy adults. The ones that want their meals with no sauce and all of the vegetables or salad removing or can only eat chicken nuggets and chips in their 40s. I know a couple of them and it's a hassle trying to organise places to go out to eat. Despise is too strong a word though.

I was brought up in an "eat what you're given or leave it but go hungry" house which is likely to affect my tolerance level. Although I wouldn't ever say anything to the fusspots.

On the basis of this thread, it definitely is not a “wild” assumption that you maybe don’t have positive relationships with your MIL and SIL, and someone who is maybe quite familiar with feeling…. Pissed off with people!

Gif didn't load but had put one of everyone eating Rachel's trifle in Friends

Lol I feel your pain! Miserable old chav killed me. It's the voicing it that fucks me off or when people go quiet and make a thing of not liking something on their plate. Just leave it there!

You didn’t mention this in your OP… so your SIL has eaten chicken that you’ve cooked for her around 40 times before, but now suddenly MIL is saying she doesn’t like it?

I had what might describe as AFRID from 6-probably about 25. Basically could eat everything before 6, then developed gastroenteritis, lost half of my (already thin) body weight and was forced fed in hospital. Literally pinned me down and spooned in mushy horribleness, and eventually a tube up my nose. It unsurprisingly left me extremely fussy. Plain, crunchy carbs and plain meat only for a long time, along with fruit and a multivitamin.

It helped massively when I moved out of home and could experiment with food in my own weird way. Just didn't go out with certain groups of judgemental people. I'm okay now and my favourite meal is a curry! I can eat plenty of veg (no cucumber, tomatoes, beans, potatoes though please!) Things that didn't help:

• People commenting on the way I ate. I.e separating the food on the plate, picking out bits I could eat)
• People acting if it was a giant inconvenience to do me a portion without spices/potatoes/whatever. I'd only ask if it was easily doable.

For every person that despises picky eaters there's a picky eater who despises being interrogated and treated like a pariah/novelty/inconvenience by people who will just eat anything.

Fair enough, I do have good relationships with them though and I do like people I just hate bad manners!

@Brownoliveskincurlyblackhair Hmm.

If it's a group of 10 people and 9 of them enjoy chicken (and you've already bought it), I'd serve it up as there's plenty of other food for SIL to eat.

See I think this changes things for me, if you were preparing one meal for everyone to sit down to then I don’t think there’s any issue with someone expressing they don’t like that meal, a good host would ask all guests for any dislikes/allergies before planning what meal to make. I wouldn’t ever want to serve someone a plate of food they don’t like, I always ask. So I wouldn’t serve a crab pasta dish if I knew a guest hated crab.

BUT if I’m making a spread then I wouldn’t necessarily bother too much about dislikes, I’d do a variety so that there is something for everyone. In that instance I don’t see the need for MIL/SIL to mention the chicken.

Yabu, I detest mushrooms the smell makes me feel sick no way I would eat them or most seafood 🤮. Why should someone have to eat something they find repulsive to be polite? Most people ask their guests what they like to eat.

YANBU OP. If you have very strong preferences/dislikes maybe focus on socialising in ways that do not depend on someone cooking for you (either non meal based or go to a restaurant with options for all). If I'm cooking a meal for 6 people and each person has 2-3 things they won't eat it soon becomes a real problem.

If the way you talk about them is your version of a good relationship, I dread to think what your version of a bad relationship is 😧!!!

I have a few who is a fussy eater…. I don’t go out with her to eat!

And again, so long as you don't mind my projectile vomiting at the dinner table......