To despise picky eaters?

[Brownoliveskincurlyblackhair]

If you have an allergy or religious reasons not to eat something, fine obviously but grown adults who 'don't eat' something absolutely irk me beyond words. My MIL looked horrified earlier when I said I was making chicken as a part of a weekend spread because SIL 'doesn't eat it'. I have accommodated for SIL but honestly, I was bought up that you get what you're given and eat what's infront of you. It's terrible manners is it not?

Yabu - hosts should cater for preferences
Yanbu - it's rude

Yeah everybody, just shut up and don’t make a fuss. Suck it up and make sure you don’t come across as entitled or worse gasp politely vocalise that you don’t like to eat XYZ because otherwise double gasp ms judgy pants off the internet will say she DESPISES you and thinks you’re a LOSER for god forbid having PREFERENCES 😱😂

I'm the same. I cannot abide the taste, smell or texture of any type of fish or shellfish, and I quite simply can't eat it. If that makes me fussy, I'm OK with that. It's fine to have food preferences.

I always ask guests if they have allergies and dislikes. My husband dislikes cheese and nuts. He's not allergic, he just really dislikes them to the point he will feel sick if he has to eat them. And he really wouldn't be able to force strong cheese down. I always warn hosts well in advance.

Rude
Entitled
Weird
Uptight
Self absorbed
Bad manners
Fussy
Using it as a means to assert control

These are the things to name a few that you’ve used to describe people who have a food preference. I don’t think they are the one with the problem op @Brownoliveskincurlyblackhair

It's true!

Why is 'religious reasons' acceptable if personal preference isn't? They boil down to the same thing really - something that doesn't suit you.

@iloveeverykindofcat That sounds so difficult.

Personally, I don't have an issue with food preferences as long as people let me know in advance and I would say that if someone has dietary restrictions, it's reasonable to serve dishes they don't eat to the other guests as long as there's other alternatives.

So in this case, I might put some grilled chicken out for the other guests and the SIL just wouldn't have any.

This is my mother. She despises “picky eaters” but her diet consists of meat and two veg. Anything else is muck

I voted YABU.

Because "despise" is far too strong a word for people whose habits are maybe just mildly irritating.

There's a massive increase in hatred and nastiness nowadays and there's just no need for it.
In my opinion.

Yes, it’s true that this is a you problem.

Op…. By any chance, did you / do you have a lot of issues with colleagues?
don’t have long term friends?
struggle with small talk or indeed social events generally?

Great so do you :)

Well firstly, you were not "bought up" you were "brought up".
Some people like certain foods, some do not. That is why it is important to expose children to a wide variety of foods and food textures.
If an adult "does not eat" certain foods, I would respect that, assuming that this was a considered choice.
Not everyone likes "beige" food :-)

No lol I'm always hosting and generally has a lovely laid back group around me, I've just had enough to trying to cater for people who always have a problem with something, especially when you're inviting people for food and there's suddenly a problem with an item you've cooked probably over 40 times before for them. The 'fussy eater' thing is just tiresome with people like that.

I agree, it's just bad manners.

I've always given both SD and DD two choices- eat it or leave it.

They are both naturally quite cautious kids about food and I do cater for that in that I'm not going to make really challenging foods which I know they won't touch, however DD is much less fussy than SD was at the same age because SD was pandered to and her Mum or Nan would always make her an alternative meal if she didn't eat what she was given. DD also knows that if we're at someone's house and she doesn't like everything that's served she should just eat the bits she does like and leave the rest.

Obviously some kids are naturally going to be more picky about textures and tastes but as an adult, just eat it. You don't have to love everything you put in your mouth.

Well you were hardly likely to say otherwise were you Op?! 😆

I have tried eating sushi. The raw fish variety - not supermarket sushi-lite (I like that!). But when I try and swallow it makes me retch in my mouth. This is entirely involuntary so I avoid it.

Do you despise me for this?

If I was coming to your house for dinner and told you I avoided sushi would you eye-roll?

Most people can't help being fussy. I would love to be able to eat anything but it's a texture thing for me. It's only as an adult I've realised I have some sensory issues. I have greatly improved as an adult since being a kid (my mum used to strain my vegetables out of my soup etc 🙈) and I will try more new things. I can't do prawns though. Lots of sea food turns me. YABU It's not rude when some foods make you gag/stressed etc. It's like stating someone is unreasonable for being afraid of heights or spiders. I wouldn't dictate what someone is making but I would probably check what it is and decline or not eat if it was something I didn't like.

I'm pescatarian (always have been, except a brief omnivore period in my early '20s). I'd personally cater to guest's known restrictions and aversions (I actually find it kind of a fun challenge) but I think it's fine if you don't and often there's a good reason why you wouldn't. For example, if it's your chicken-loving son's birthday and you've made his fave dishes then great; I wouldn't want you to hold back on what you'd normally do for my sake. But while it wouldn't bother me at all if someone hosting me made chicken or something else I don't eat, I wouldn't eat it just to be polite.

In Sarah's position, I'd be happy that you remembered I don't eat chicken and made sure that there was something I could eat. I can understand your annoyance at your MIL speaking up but I wouldn't blame Sarah for it and I guess I'd just say "I remember; I've made sure there's plenty that she can eat" and let it go. If your MIL kept pursuing it then she's causing the issue, not Sarah.

True! But I suppose you don't know me other than this thread so I get why you'd make such wild assumptions tbh. The facts are SIL and MIL can never be pleased.

@Brownoliveskincurlyblackhair do you regard yourself as a good host op?

My father in law can’t eat chicken cause it makes him fart- trust me, I’d rather cook something else!!

Why ask then?
Weird....

@Brownoliveskincurlyblackhair So was your MIL saying no chicken dishes for anyone as SIL doesn't eat it?

Or did she just expect you to have an alternative for SIL?
It's not clear to me.