To despise picky eaters?

[Brownoliveskincurlyblackhair]

If you have an allergy or religious reasons not to eat something, fine obviously but grown adults who 'don't eat' something absolutely irk me beyond words. My MIL looked horrified earlier when I said I was making chicken as a part of a weekend spread because SIL 'doesn't eat it'. I have accommodated for SIL but honestly, I was bought up that you get what you're given and eat what's infront of you. It's terrible manners is it not?

Yabu - hosts should cater for preferences
Yanbu - it's rude

You may think yourself as a good host but it’s pretty clear you are not. If this is causing you this much stress and bother and to despise guests that have a food preference why are you even bothering to host? Stop playing the victim and just say you’re not hosting anymore, surely that will solve your problem?

I eat with my eyes as much as my mouth, if something doesn't look appetising, i feel sick at the thought of putting it in my mouth. I will try anything that doesn't contain meat, even if i think i won't like it.

I am VERY fussy with meat. I like the taste of chicken, pork, lamb and beef, but i can't stand fat or gristle, or that weird stringy white stuff you get on chicken (i will only eat breast meat, no dark meat like leg or even thigh).
If i see it, i'm put off and will cut around it if i can, but if its not visible and i bite down on it, i will gag, possibly even vomit.

Which would you prefer, that i don't eat a part of the meal, or physically retch at the table, possibly even vomit on to my plate in front of everyone and put everyone off their dinner? Because my reaction is involuntary and immediate, theres no slinking off to the bathroom, its happening at the table.

If that's likely perhaps you shouldn't accept invitations from people to cook for you.

You’d hate me! I am picky, I can’t help that I don’t like certain things and can’t force myself to eat them without gagging. My ‘texture issues’ are a standing joke at work.

Generally I think if you know someone well enough to invite them to dinner you know them well enough to have a rough idea of what they will and won’t eat in the first place and a decent host would check. I wouldn’t expect a guest to eat something they don’t like and it wouldn’t offend me if they left something but then I generally let them know the menu plan to see its suitable.

@AlmostAJillSandwich

why don’t you just become a vegetarian?

That wasnt OP’s point, though. I’ve eaten quite meh food people have cooked for me but you eat it up with s thank you, unless (1) religious avoidance; (2) allergy (3) you were asked beforehand to express a oreference. Otherwise it’s just entitled & rude.

I tend to agree. I grew up in a very poor developing county and being a picky eater there is simply not an option.

I agree to an extent that picky eaters are annoying especially when you know they’ve never even tried things but if I knew that one person definitely didn’t like something I was serving I would have an alternative for them. My brother doesn’t like salmon so when he and his family visited he had a chicken breast while the rest of us had delicious salmon

@SENlife That does sound nightmarish

But, you don't prevent anyone else from enjoying the food that you can't eat, do you - and that seems to be what the OP is saying about this SIL and this weekend spread. Other people can enjoy the chicken dish and if her food preferences dictated what could be served at her brother's wedding, I think that's cheeky!

I thought that the food at my SIL's wedding was horrible, but it wasn't my day, so I nibbled some bread - you can't tell people what to serve at their weddings (although if it's a set meal they should def. offer a veggie/vegan option).

Bully for you

When I invite people over, I ask about their likes, dislikes and any allergies and then I work with that. If you don't do that, you're just plain a bad host.

god I love kidneys, very rare to get them now.

My mum used to boil them and liver for the dog and I'd pinch bits of it.

Oh and cutting the bacon fat off when I was a child (why mother would you do that) before it was cooked and I would eat that.

Op your irritation is severe beacuse of your bonkers dad.

That's the really sad thing

I don't accept invitations to dinner because I can't bear the thought of being faced with something I can't eat.

I love rare liver, kidneys, escargot

@Brownoliveskincurlyblackhair Did you think that maybe you’re cooking just isn’t that good? Hence why they are saying they don’t like certain foods as an excuse to just not eat it?

@Brownoliveskincurlyblackhair do you really feel this strongly?

despise -feel contempt or a deep repugnance for.

So do I. When I host I want people to enjoy themselves.

I have learned a lot from threads like this on mumsnet, so I always make exceptions for dietary preferences (vegetarians/vegans/religious no-nos etc), food intolerances/allergies and eating disorders.

So, I wouldn't judge someone with ARFID for instance. However, I think the OP is just talking about people who are just picky without having any other issues with food other than plain simple fussiness.

You can’t have requirements and be fussy imo

I agree @BananaCaramel
When DD decided to become vegetarian I said exactly this to her. She reminded me of this the other day when we were talking about my SIL (DD's auntie) who is vegetairian and an extremely fussy eater. She doesn't have any intolerances, allergies or any kind of eating disorder. She just doesn't like most "forrin muck". As a result she eats a very limited and, IMO, a very boring and repetive diet.

I’m not a fussy eater at all but as an adult I am not going to eat what is put in front of me if I don’t like it. Although I can't think of any situation I’ll be having to deal with that (because either I’m cooking or I’m eating out).

I would love to be able to eat anything. But I also despise people like you who judge.

I wouldn’t bother

I wouldn't enjoy myself and I can't believe people actually force themselves to eat things they really dislike.

I can't bear tomatoes. I can just about eat tinned tomatoes if they are good quality ones with no lumps or stalks and even then DH puts sugar in with the sauce to take the edge off the taste! If I ate tomatoes there's a good chance they'd reappear pretty quickly! The same if someone served me tiramisu for dessert as I can't stand the smell or taste of coffee. That would also reappear faster than it went down.

I have lots of sensory food issues - I have had this since I was a child. I cant eat boiled or mashed potatoes or rice pudding for example. I would struggle enormously with shepherd's pie.

I have proper allergies - the main one is chicken (!) but another one is the fine mould you get on fruit or mushrooms. So I can eat very fresh strawberries but not older fruit. I avoid it unless I am buying and preparing it myself.

But I have lots of foods that upset my stomach. Garlic for example. And anything with loads of ingredients. I cant cope with lasagne for example. Tomato sauce is dodgy. Pesto. At best they give me indigestion and at worst I'm running to the loo and being violently ill.

It's hard not being able to eat what you like. If i meet friends in central London ( long tube journey then bus home) I am extremely careful. I will have plain food like a steak as I know that won't upset me.

as an adult I am not going to eat what is put in front of me if I don’t like it.

I would. If someone invited me for dinner and I didn't like it, I'd still eat it out of politeness.

I hate that I am a picky eater but if I eat something I don’t like I have about five mouthfuls before I started involuntarily gagging which seems like much worse manners. Usually I busily eat bits avoiding the ingredient I hate, drink lots of water and claim to have a slightly off tummy while praising the food but it’s not fun

I must admit I wasn't expecting this thread to go the way it has! Personally I've always been able to eat things I don't like. If someone goes to the trouble of cooking for me, I'll just eat it even if I don't particularly enjoy it. I don't see it as that big of a deal personally speaking.

(obviously fair enough if you have afrid, that's different)