To despise picky eaters?

[Brownoliveskincurlyblackhair]

If you have an allergy or religious reasons not to eat something, fine obviously but grown adults who 'don't eat' something absolutely irk me beyond words. My MIL looked horrified earlier when I said I was making chicken as a part of a weekend spread because SIL 'doesn't eat it'. I have accommodated for SIL but honestly, I was bought up that you get what you're given and eat what's infront of you. It's terrible manners is it not?

Yabu - hosts should cater for preferences
Yanbu - it's rude

Personally I fucking hate them. Funny how no-one in a famine/concentration camp gives a shit. Too much pandering.

@SuchiRolls Oh there’s definitely a backstory to the OP’s attitude, she references it in her posts. Her SIL has form for being somewhat demanding (not just about food) and the OP is fed up with it.

Try educating yourself about eating disorders such as ARFID…

Personally I fucking hate uneducated judgemental people, but there you go 🤷🏼‍♀️

Then this isn’t really about the food, rather the attitude. The OP is a bit generalised and worded to be aimed at anyone with a food aversion, hence the vast quantities of comments about why people may be ‘picky eaters’. Picky according to who? I would simply say, this is what we are having to eat, please feel free to bring along an alternative. If this was an attitude problem from a family member I wouldn’t be catering to it, personally. I’d make something for them if I knew they liked it, but if it was just because they were being an awkward bleep, then my demand avoidance would absolutely over ride their need to be an a-hole 😂 Personally I feel that one of the advantages for me of being autistic is that this to me is a black and white situation. They either eat it or they don’t. That’s their choice and not my problem. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@HighLadyofTheNightCourt Seriously what would these delicate flowers eat if there was fuck all choice?

Nothing.
I would literally eat nothing. I would love nothing more than to not have my ‘delicate flower’ eating disorder but it’s not quite as simple as that.

Nothing. My son has arfid and lost 3 stones last year after eating only crumpets and drinking milk for 6 months. It’s taken over a year to get him back up to eating 8 food items and 2 drink choices. Let’s face it someone else’s food choices do not affect anyone but themselves or perhaps their parents if they are a child.

I think your comment before this of “Personally I fucking hate uneducated judgemental people, but there you go 🤷🏼‍♀️”…is somewhat cancelled out by this very post

Meh. No sympathy from me. If you're hungry, you eat. If not, then survival of the fittest. The human race hasn't died out because Jasper will only eat yellow food. It's a joke and it's my legitimate opinion. If you don't like my views then so what?

What did picky eaters do in the days before there was such widely available food? Did they just die? Or did they simply not exist?

You made other things,then why the fuss?
Is it because MIL said it and now it's gnawing away at you?
You dislike pork but eat every bit of it's served to you? That's bizarre.
Its not impolite to inform people of your likes and dislikes.
I don't know how you were brought up but it's ok to have preferences, it's normal.
To go as far as to say you have a problem with picky eaters, honestly, it's your issue.

My parents tried that when I was a kid and I ended up in hospital, nice try though.

Dinner ladies also thought that if I couldn't go out to play unless I ate the rice pudding/coleslaw/etc, I'd eventually eat them. I missed outdoor play for an entire year.

This thread is a classic, though depressing, example of the unpleasant human drive to feel superior to another group of people. And if you all you’ve got to feel superior to is people afflicted with an eating disorder, apparently a third of people will take that.

ARFID and picky eating are - as I have learned from this thread - different things. Picky eater = a nephew of mine, who was an absolute pain in the arse to feed when he visited as a child, because he'd learned that if he didn't eat what was in front of him, his mother would start to offer fruit yoghurt, or if he wasn't in the mood for that, chocolate biscuits and crisps. Or perhaps ice cream? Or some cake? As an adult, he 100% does not have ARFID.
ARFID = a diagnosable ED.

A lot of my older relations experienced serious food shortages, and in some cases actual starvation, during WWII. As you can imagine, this had a lasting impact on what you might call the family food culture, which is a mix of an existing and enduring cultural urge to shovel food down visitors, and a belief that you should be grateful for having food in front of you and that you show that gratitude by eating it. My attitudes to be being a guest came out of that, which is why picky eaters irritate me.

If someone says in advance that they won't be eating - like a cousin on the other side of my family, whi in retrospect probably had ARFID - I think it's strange but okay, one less mouth to feed.

I'm not a picky eater but there are foods that I don't like such as peas, pumpkin and ham - although I do love bacon and pork, go figure! Also don't like the yolk from eggs but love scrambled eggs - which of course uses yolk! I guess it's all to do with how the food is prepared.
I also used to not like capsicum but now love them and use them a lot on homemade pizzas. I guess as we get older our tastebuds change as well as our mindset towards certain foods and our willingness to try new things.
I've always been put off by oysters despite never trying them even though my dad would eat them a lot especially at Christmas time so it's not like they were foreign to me. I do love mussels though as well as prawns and Balmain/Moreton Bay Bugs. Also tried snails when I went on a cruise around the Pacific islands and surprisingly I enjoyed them as I didn't expect to .
I think if you open your mind to new tastes and opportunities you never know what you may find that you like.
I think it's ok to not like certain things or to even be put off by food you haven't yet tasted (but don't ever be rude about it) and to wait until you feel ready to try that food.

But most people won't 'not be eating' and most eating disorders remain hidden. These days it would be very unlucky for a meal to be something I don't like any of but in my 20s I would just hope for the best.

So no I didn't miss something in your personal attitude and expectations of others

It was the hyperbole about your poor wee feelings if someone didn't like your food that was so ridiculous.

There's probably a list of stuff I'm not keen on/don't like/ never cook but they don't make me ill so I wouldn't dream of mentioning them to a host. Stuff that make you shit blue lights is quite another matter.

OTOH I'm still waiting for any of the gluten intolerant people I know to actually not eat gluten when they want to. Not one. So pissed off to turn myself inside out to accommodate their needs, only to find it's as and when. And to hear them larfing about it.

<Disclaimer - this is anecdotal but I'm on my second hand counting them>

So being a fussy eater means you are superior to the rest of us who have manners?

It has nothing to do with good manners.

Catering for the needs and dislikes of every guest becomes impossible. It’s difficult enough to entertain, and to prepare a nice meal, with all the courses and bits, for a number of people. Never mind having to prepare alternatives for several of them.

Some people do have allergies to wheat, nuts or allium, for example. It’s a bore but it’s true. But others are just fussy and like to come the princess, let’s be honest.

It’s also encumber on guests, when accepting an invitation, to make clear to the host in advance that they absolutely cannot eat x, y or z. I blush when I think now of the garlic, onion or cream-saturated meals that I’ve fed to two different friends who are quite allergic to these foods.

Ah well, yet another reason not to have to entertain :)

They suffered ‘failure to thrive’, and yes, many died.

Same happened to my mum as a child. No one knew about eating disorders back then. Luckily in the end my gran decided a fed child was better than a dying child.

It Is actually quite kind and courteous to the host to make an effort and show appreciation for their food and efforts, even if we don't like it. Children can struggle doing that, understandably, because they are used to eating home and loudly declaring their preference.
But as they grow and develop social skills, it is always advantageous to them to learn how to temper that.
So that they can do that as adults. Those who can manage make more friends and make themselves more welcome anywhere. Maybe this fact is hard to swallow, so to speak, but it is a fact.

Sadly, all of them died, or will soon anyway.