To despise picky eaters?

[Brownoliveskincurlyblackhair]

If you have an allergy or religious reasons not to eat something, fine obviously but grown adults who 'don't eat' something absolutely irk me beyond words. My MIL looked horrified earlier when I said I was making chicken as a part of a weekend spread because SIL 'doesn't eat it'. I have accommodated for SIL but honestly, I was bought up that you get what you're given and eat what's infront of you. It's terrible manners is it not?

Yabu - hosts should cater for preferences
Yanbu - it's rude

Vegetarianism is pretty much a religion, as far as I'm concerned. It would be impossible for a vegetarian to eat meat, like it would be impossible for me to eat cat, for example. People who are trying to make you eat lamb are idiots.

I'm talking about people with childish whims who impose them on everyone. There are no reasons why someone healthy would not eat any vegetable or any fruit apart from deciding they would not eat any. Which is fine, but its not my problem and dont expect me to be sympathetic.

I used to be irritated by fussy eaters. Until I had one myself. My youngest has struggled with food since I started weaning him. His older brother was and is a great eater, with just a small number of dislikes that are texture related, such as mashed potato and mousse. But DS2’s desire to eat only certain foods is very strong. He would eat nothing all day rather than eat what he doesn’t like. And I mean all day. He likes food that is consistent. All the boring stuff that never changes. If something on his plate is slightly different to the usual - eg a bit burnt, a bit mushy - he won’t eat it again and thus the range of food he is prepared to eat reduces. And my heart sinks. He now has severe OCD and the problem has increased tenfold, a hundredfold. He is extremely thin, despite the fact that his safe foods are calorie laden. If most people on here saw his diet, they would faint with the shock. Or get very angry, which sadly seems to be one of the default reactions to people who are different to themselves. Anyway, all of this has made me much more tolerant and understanding of so called ‘fussy eaters’. Most of the time, other people’s preferences have no impact on my life, except for the odd gathering of family and friends. Most people aren’t trying to make other people’s lives worse. They just are who they are.

I definitely am not someone who won't tolerate fussy eaters, but I would absolutely eat anything that someone had made me.

I was taught it was rude not to and I have no physical or psychological aversions which would stop me.

Absolutely anything.

So you'd eat dog meat soup? Cockroaches? Spiders legs?

I can't help but feel a bit of joy when this happens, just for a moment.

My 2nd is extremely sensitive to foods. I have had so many comments from parents whose child will eat anything, until they have one who won't, who'd starve before trying anything that smells or is wet or textured.

I hope he is okay now, it is often a neurological problem.

No, I wouldn't eat "dog meat soup". What a stupid suggestion.

I have eaten insects plenty of times.

i used to consider myself picky, but i'm learning i actually eat quite a bit. My main issue is i don't tolerate spices, and i can't stand Paprika, so it puts a lot of certain cuisines out of reach for me without recipe adaptation, as i do in my own home if i want to eat something.

One of my biggest dislikes is Red Wine, it tastes like vinegar that has gone off to me.. a lot of people like red wine sauces, but for me they'd ruin the meal.

Should i not speak up when invited to dinner and asked if there is anything i don't eat, or allow my entire meal to be inedible and waste the food i'm served?

Why is it a stupid suggestion? You said you'd eat anything, and dog meat soup is quite common in some Asian countries.

You seem repulsed by the idea - maybe take a minute to realise that that repulsion is what some people feel when faced with relatively "normal" foods and try and have some sympathy.

I think you need to be mindful of the fact that you often don’t know if someone has psychological issues or an eating disorder such as ARFID.
We don’t shout about it, we don’t even want it acknowledged. I’m deeply embarrassed by my eating disorder and it can cause me a lot of anxiety and most of the anxiety comes from other people commenting on my food.
If I was just left alone and my food choices not even commented on, I’d be a lot less stressed at social occasions involving food.

Ok, I've never heard of dog meat soup and thought you were being flippant. I assumed you were meaning serving up Pedigree Chum or something.

Are you talking about eating dog? Like this: www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-67920167 If someone cooked that for me as a genuine dish in Korea then, yes, I would eat it.

You don't need to tell me to have sympathy. I do have sympathy. As I've said multiple times on this thread, my mind has been changed by Mumsnet. I used to think much the same as the OP, but reading people's personal testimony has educated me

Yes, and..?

that's not selective eating that's just rude.

stop being so rude and accusative about people who are selective eaters

Sorry, I think you have me mixed up with someone else. Please show me one place where I have been rude or accusative about selective eaters.

Saying ‘yes, and?’ is rude as hell when someone is being vulnerable about ED.

Personally I despise rude, judgemental people far more than someone who has struggles around food. I’ve never met a ‘picky eater’ who likes being picky, it almost always comes from anxiety around new/‘unsafe’ foods.

ARFID is probably way underdiagnosed in the general population just because people are unaware of it.

Just because I enjoy eating a variety of food and textires doesnt mean I am "insensitive to flavour or texture " I enjoy the flavours and textures

However even having said that I think op is unreasonable I am ok with people having some dislikes.

And what?
Dont you want people to at least feel ok? Especially if you are hosting them?

Then I apologise.

Tbh your comment about sex life weird and rude 🤷🏼‍♀️

And the comment which prompted the ‘yes..and’ response was just me following up on your post about being taught it was rude not to eat food that had been made for you and that as you have no psychological issues that’s not a problem for you.

I was only saying that you should be mindful that many people won’t tell you they have psychological issues so don’t make assumptions!
Just let people be!

Yes.

I am not the OP.

I don't agree with the OP.

I would not behave like the OP.

Please read what I have written and engage with that rather than your mistaken perception of what I have said.

the "yes and"

Picky eaters are annoying, yes. It's all food. I bet people in poor countries aren't nearly as "picky" about what they eat.

I am mindful of that.

As I have said, I have had my mind changed from something close to the OP's opinion by reading the genuine physical and psychological reactions people have to food on Mumsnet.

I was explaining why I would eat anything put in front of me to someone who didn't seem to believe it was possible. Many people on this thread have said "everyone has something they don't eat " I don't think that's true.

(There is nothing rude about absent-mindedly pondering if people's sex lives are affected by their sensory issues, unless you think thinking about sex is rude in itself.)

I cant bear judgemental people.