To despise picky eaters?

[Brownoliveskincurlyblackhair]

If you have an allergy or religious reasons not to eat something, fine obviously but grown adults who 'don't eat' something absolutely irk me beyond words. My MIL looked horrified earlier when I said I was making chicken as a part of a weekend spread because SIL 'doesn't eat it'. I have accommodated for SIL but honestly, I was bought up that you get what you're given and eat what's infront of you. It's terrible manners is it not?

Yabu - hosts should cater for preferences
Yanbu - it's rude

There's a middle ground surely. I think hosts do need to do their best to ensure they provide something each guest could enjoy, but that's not the same as ensuring that everything they provide is loved by everyone.

I also think guests should attempt to eat what they're given.

But surely most people have some things they just can't stand? I absolutely loathe vinegar. I have my whole life, I can't even stand the smell. Nothing would make me eat it. There are other things that aren't my favourite things to eat, but I would it I had to to be polite. Isn't that normal?

I couldn't be in a relationship with a very picky eater though. It would drive me insane as I love cooking, trying new recipes and eating. But that's not the same as a one off for guests.

I'd far rather someone told me about their food preferences than that I served up and they sat there forcing it down "to be polite."

I suppose it depends if your hosting standards aspire beyond the level of "Victorian Orphanage Matron" 😇

They haven’t gone to that much trouble if they’ve cooked something you don’t like. They’ve cooked for themselves and you happen to be there.

I want the people I host to have a lovely time, I'd feel awful if one of my guests was struggling to eat a food they hated. I have a couple of dislikes which I can't force down for love nor money without them coming back up again.
There are things I can do which others might struggle with - invasive procedures, handling reptiles and spiders etc - there's no way I would look down on others for not being able to do those things. We are all different, it's not a character flaw to accommodate others.

I dont eat fish/seafood of any kind (apart from tin tuna) I’m not allergic it just makes me gag. I also don’t eat dried or cooked fruit, again makes me gag. I wouldn’t be able to eat it unless the host wants vomit all over the table. 🤷‍♀️

I think it is very bad hosting not to check food preferences with guests. I want my guests to feel welcome, not awkward trying to force something down they don't like.

It isn't difficult.

I wouldn’t class ARFID as being a fussy eater and I don’t think the OP would either. It’s a serious medical condition where someone has a highly restrictive diet. I cannot imagine anyone with ARFID would accept a dinner invitation without explaining their dietary restrictions.

I think it’s courteous as a host to ask if their guests have anything they particularly dislike but I would find it rude if I was presented with a list of specific foods to avoid rather than a more generic “not keen on shellfish” or ”I don’t love loads of spice” kind of response. Partly because if you are hosting a group, it will be near impossible to create a single meal that will please everyone.

I was brought up with a similar view to the OP which was that you ate whatever the host made for you, even if it was not your favourite.

So, what do you do about people who have allergies, intolerances, and say IBS?

You are a belligerent host OP. I don’t know why you bother inviting people over.

Why don’t you know that your SIL dislikes chicken?

That’s a reflection on the people inviting you to dinner though. It’s polite when inviting people to eat to ask if there’s anything they don’t like/ don’t eat, if there’s not going to be anything else. If you don’t ask, you’re a bad host. If you’re asked and don’t say what you don’t eat then that’s a you problem.

Most people have things they don’t like to eat. I think it’s quite rare people who will eat absolutely anything happily.
My in laws always went on and on about me being a fussy eater, because I don’t like prawns. I eat almost anything else but them. Guess what they served up all the time.

It's terrible hosting to serve food you know someone dislikes. No one should be expected to force down food they dislike, they should be expected to be polite about it

Agreed! I understand some exotic foods are a nono for many but regular foods is a bit pathetic.

In my culture they happily eat Brain, organs etc. I can't do it..but I happily eat other things and try other foods and willing to give something a go once (non organ meats).

the people I go to don't expect me to eat what I am given regardless.

How often do these entitled twats host you?

Do they ask it care about your preferences?

Or do they just see it as your job to cook and host for them because you’re the DIL?

So then why tell random strangers you’ll vomit on them?

Eat what you like, no one here is catering to you.

It’s worse manners to make food that you know your guests don’t like IMO.

Or these guests could just piss off home. They don’t sound very nice.

"not my favourite" is a million miles from "not something I can swallow and keep down"

Haven't read the thread, but I feel sorry for picky eaters because I think no-one would choose it. It's like a disability, you have it, and have to live with it. Not a major disability in most cases, but not something one would choose.

Liquorice. Literally the only thing I will not eat. But this post has made me realise I’m the weirdo 😂 I have preferences, cheese over chocolate, bread before potatoes. Beef very rare. Love spicy. But I would eat pretty much anything, I’m obviously very strange

Yabu. A good host asks guests in advance if there's anything they don't eat. If the host didn't bother to do that then it's the host that has been rude. And if the guest eats up every bit without ever mentioning it they will get the same thing they dislike next time, and if they ever do mention it at some point in future then the host (unless they are a genuinely selfish person) would feel bad about the previous occasions, so it's really best to mention it, though it's certainly possible to do so politely, and certainly if there's a spread with a wide variety of things it's not worth mentioning on the day itself unless there's really nothing one can eat (eg "those beef satay skewers you did last weekend were amazing, so delicious, I'm afraid I pigged out on them rather as I don't eat chicken or potatoes or anything with tomatoes so I hope the other guests didn't hate me, thank you so much for hosting")

"Eat what's put in front of you" is part of a byegone era where children were traumatised for the convenience of adults. I am glad it's a dinosaur attitude that will die out soon enough.

Would you like the detailed specifics of how my bowel will interact with a wide range of very specific foods (not an allergy but pretty unpleasant) or would you prefer I just say 'I can't eat xyz'. Up to you. I can go into the details of the explosive diarrhoea if you like.

Haven't read the thread, but I feel sorry for picky eaters because I think no-one would choose it. It's like a disability, you have it, and have to live with it. Not a major disability in most cases, but not something one would choose.

I'm not so sure. I think it's high maintenance people living in a world of food overabundance, in some cases.

As I said previously, living in a very poor country, picky eating just was not a thing when people were struggling to achieve adequate nutrition and calories.