New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?

[dtarer]

I sometimes wear tops that show some cleavage. It’s hard to avoid in most tops that aren’t super high cut.

I notice men sometimes look. But today in a meeting, a man did not stop staring.

his gaze was fixed the entire time he was talking to me. It was extremely uncomfortable.

I somehow feel it’s my fault this happened. But I really love this top and I don’t think it’s obscene. I find it hard to avoid showing some cleavage, especially in summer. It just suits my shape somehow.

I’ll post a pic of the top if it will let me.

Put clothes on?

I just don't even know where to start with your post @MyBoldGreyPoet
I don't "invite" anyone to ogle, stare or otherwise gawp at my arms when I'm wearing a t-shirt, my calves when I am wearing a skirt, nor my chest when I'm wearing a v-neck. They might do the first two; but they definitely SPEAK to my chest.

Ok I see. So I was asking for it then, wasn’t I. What an inappropriate, unprofessional slag I am. I deserved what I got.

Are you a barmaid? That is not an appropriate top for an office environment. In an office environment, it screams desperate for attention

Regardless of the top and the job, is it still 1980 where you are?

It's interesting. Someone referenced the other thread earlier that was about dress standards dropping. The OP on that thread copped a caning. Apparently there is no "professional" dress code for work and a tshirt and jeans are perfectly acceptable at all workplaces. Apparently people should be able to wear what they want as their appearance in the office does not impact their capabilities. It's interesting that slobby dressing is ok but a nice top isn't because, dear god, there's cleavage on show. As I noted above, personally I pin tops like that higher. That's my personal preference, not a requirement for others to follow.

Are you joking? All,prepared to bat for you until you posted this. Of course it’s inappropriate for work. Night out, yes. Work, no. I’d be bloody staring, tbh.

omg i love that top where's it from?? sorry if you've already said

i think thats a great work top and not at all inappropriate
the people who are saying it is have A cups and wear bloomers

What massive slags we are for daring to wear anything other than a turtle neck. Ironically these are probably all women who want to ‘ban the burka!’

The majority of commenters (even those who think the hideous top is inappropriate for work) are saying that - whatever you were wearing - he shouldn’t be staring at your boobs.

People have been saying it since the very beginning. But you don’t want to hear it. Why? What is the purpose of this post?

Its not ironic and I am certainly not saying low cut top equals slag. But I do think there are standards of dress at work and things I would not expect to see. As someone who was part of a group of women who put in a complaint about a guy where we worked whose trousers were so tight you could probably tell if he was circumcised or not. There are just things not appropriate at work (or school) which are fine outside of it. There is nothing hypocritical about believing that.

Yeah I wouldn’t wear that top, when I say I have cleavage I mean like this, they’re not low cut as such it’s just that I’m a KK cup

nobody actually said that, you are just a wind up merchant however

But her top is not in anyway inappropriate!! It’s a very flattering top for large boobs.

Not at all. Very unprofessional.

Yeah I got your number ladies. Just like you claim to have mine.

I would not expect to see any cleavage at work. Its a lovely top and I am sure it is flattering. But not work appropriate.

even if she was wearing a 00s Jodie Marsh belt top a man shouldn’t be sat in a work meeting staring at her tits!!! The internalised misogyny on this place is so bad

you asked the question.
you got your answer

Don’t see anything wrong with your top. If you have large boobs they will sometimes spill out due to the design of the top.

I don't understand why you asked the question if you were going to react like that if you don't like the answer.

The top is not appropriate for most workplaces but it’s completely unacceptable for him to be staring.

This is separate issue. yes, there are creeps who will stare at your boobs whatever you wear, and it is totally unacceptable. In or out of work.

But there are also things that should be worn at work.

another one who disagrees, but no doubt agrees with you @dtarer