New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?

[dtarer]

I sometimes wear tops that show some cleavage. It’s hard to avoid in most tops that aren’t super high cut.

I notice men sometimes look. But today in a meeting, a man did not stop staring.

his gaze was fixed the entire time he was talking to me. It was extremely uncomfortable.

I somehow feel it’s my fault this happened. But I really love this top and I don’t think it’s obscene. I find it hard to avoid showing some cleavage, especially in summer. It just suits my shape somehow.

I’ll post a pic of the top if it will let me.

If you wore that at my place of work you’d be sent home to get changed!
Because of the environment I work in we have to be covered, nothing short, strappy or showing too much flesh!!

Really? That is your best response to a different opinion. Ok then..... no wonder you cant see a problem here.

I'm showing my age, but if the clothing embarrasses you (it does), then don't wear it.

The next question is whether you ought to feel embarrassed - nobody should feel embarrassed at work by their clothing, so you need to raise the subject with HR in order to establish what is acceptable professional dress. My own opinion of the photograph that you have provided is that it is not professional office wear, but the important opinion is that of your employer.

Call it out. Every time. Loudly.

'My eyes are up here'.

Not your problem in the slightest.

Lovely going out top! But completely inappropriate for an office.

Oh come on. That’s not a work top at any speed.

how would you like to be faced with that top at a bank?
your eyebrows would certainly rise

OP it's really not a professional look. Bit like a guy going to work in shorts perhaps. Be classy.

I always think that exposing cleavages is a bit 'tacky' - anywhere. Never looks good, but that's just my opinion. No excuse for him staring at you though.

OP has clearly stated that nobody wears office attire at her workplace and just wear what they want so why do people keep saying the top isn't appropriate 'for an office'?

Is it only big titted women who have to button up to the neck? I'd literally have to to stop anyone seeing my cleavage.

That top's not suitable for work, OP. I had to buy some new glasses recently and had them fitted by a young woman as generously endowed as you are, and showing a similar amount of cleavage. Every time she leant towards me to adjust the fit of my specs and place a dot on the lens I found myself only a couple of inches away from her bosom. It was far too intimate for comfort and if I'd been a man I would have been either thrilled to the core or terrified that I'd be accused of staring.

how about wear a different top then, one that can contain your boobs so they don't spill out all over the office meeting room table?

Speaking as a woman who has ample cleavage (34FF), yes V necked tops do suit me better. High necked tops, emphasises the fact I am big busted. However, your top is not appropriate for work, as it is, you are showing way too much cleavage. Wear a black camisole underneath it, if you want to wear it to work. A little glimpse of cleavage is perfectly acceptable, but that top is a plunging V neck, and it's too much flesh for work. There's a lot of cleavage on display, and it would have been hard for him not to notice, but he should have had enough awareness not to stare. I wear V neck tops, but any dress/top that I think might be too low for work, I wear a camisole underneath - I have several in neutral colours.

I didn’t realize. Oh well, I still wish I looked like that in a top but it’s never going to happen

Yes I do agree, the top is a very normal top that is a v neck. I do not understand the women on here. You are awful

It’s hard to avoid in most tops that aren’t super high cut.

If you wore a top that went straight across above your boobs, rather than a very deep v-neck one that deliberately shows them off, it would probably be far more appropriate for work though...

I would wear a camisole with that top. That said it’s rude to stare!

if you dont have ample bosoms you dont get a cleavage, but it still is preferable not wearing a revealing shirt in work whatever your size.

I have very decent sized breasts - I manage never to have a cleavage at work. I am not saying we all need to dress in Burqas but equally noone should be dressing like they are on a night out in wetherspoons

Yes! How could someone not look?!

So dramatic.

I don’t think he should have been staring at you! Surely he can control his gaze. however, I also think that top is completely in appropriate for the workplace.

Well,. obviously. Said nobody.

Just keep getting your tits out down to your belly button in the office, it's clearly the look you like, and want to play the faux naive stance that anyone might stare at how unprofessional you look.

He shouldn't stare. But showing cleavage is inappropriate for work IMHO. Most jobs anyway.

He is an immature perve who should not behave like that. Personally i would not wear a top like that to work but it is your choice