New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?

[dtarer]

I sometimes wear tops that show some cleavage. It’s hard to avoid in most tops that aren’t super high cut.

I notice men sometimes look. But today in a meeting, a man did not stop staring.

his gaze was fixed the entire time he was talking to me. It was extremely uncomfortable.

I somehow feel it’s my fault this happened. But I really love this top and I don’t think it’s obscene. I find it hard to avoid showing some cleavage, especially in summer. It just suits my shape somehow.

I’ll post a pic of the top if it will let me.

I had a manager 'have a word' once when I was in my 20s about the amount of SHOULDER I was showing in the workplace. I was wearing a boat-neck sleeveless top in sweltering heat. There were other women in the office with plunging cleavages and this was A-OK. But my bare shoulders apparently were enough to launch 1,000 ships.

That isn't OP though. It's just some rando model with an ample figure which apparently is nothing like the OP's.

You're going to ask why she posted the photo in that case but that's above my pay grade.

I have big norks but I wouldn't have them out at work. We should be able to wear what we want but the world doesn't work that way unfortunately.

There was a thread I read the other day about people not making an effort with their appearance, and everyone was saying how you dress doesn’t affect how you do your work and people can dress how they want. Now you’ve got people berating a woman for showing some cleavage at work.

OP, I’ve got small boobs and no cleavage, and I’ve caught a number of men gawping at my boobs during the past couple of weeks which suggests to me that men stare at boobs regardless of size or clothes that show cleavage (or not). Most men seem to be able to control their eyes, some do not. Maybe you should call him out on it and just tell him it makes you feel uncomfortable when he stares at your chest.

I agree. I have always thought that when someone is showing their cleavage, it's almost an invitation to look, maybe? They chose to wear something that shows their breasts, and of course, people are going to look; it's natural. That is something that is always going to happen, regardless of gender, and I hate it when people say otherwise.

Come on OP what do you think! I presume you've been in the workplace longer than a year, you must sure have reasonable judgement based on the company, industry sector etc.

I think if you have alot of cleavage on display then people will look at it, it's kinda hypnotic and right in front of you! I'm not blessed in that dept but I don't like low cut tops so usually use vest inserts or magnets/pins to solve the problem.

But if you feel uncomfortable then Def point it out.....alternatively stick some googly eyes to your norks so you don't have to keep saying 'my eyes are up here!'😆

One of the other managers in my old workplace used to wear revealing clothes like that and she also used to whisper and giggle in departmental meetings.

I thought she was extremely unprofessional in general and used to wonder exactly how she’d got herself a management position…? 🤔

Not if you work in a brothel🤣

This is me and I never show cleavage.

There's no place for cleavage at work, or anywhere, in my opinion.

How old are you?

Have you just finished your exams?

This. I've got big boobs and I cover them up. You're not the first person with big boobs and a job OP. Wear more conservative tops!

Please grow up

Is it that you want us to believe you can't understand the difference between your tits out with a gaping neckline that plunges to your navel compared to a more appropriate v neck in the workplace?

I've had a similar problem, I put my head down at the height my cleavage was and said hey my heads up there and pointed upwards, it works!

I wear a lot of tops and dresses in that style. I have big boobs. You need to master pinning. I'd pin that about 3" higher which would make it appropriate. I can't wear scoop necks - fabric for miles with a horizontal focus. So tops and dresses are either throat level or V-neck/wrap style

ETA I worked with someone I called Tittsie Larue. Modest chest but good god they were barely contained. If you were standing up speaking with her while she was sitting down you copped an eyeful. You really don't need to have the girls out at work.

Exactly this

I am an exclusively gay man. I have not kissed a girl since 1993, when I was fifteen, and that was as intimate as it got. I have no interest in women's bodies at all.

I would absolutely have been unable to avoid staring at your chest if you had stood in front of me wearing that. Not a doubt about it.

I have large boobs. I’ve never had a problem with tops showing cleavage if I didn’t want to show cleavage.

Oh dear, Google ads having a laugh at this sorry OP

Agreed

Top is hideous and you’re obviously on the wind up.

I think it's fine OP you have boobs it's fine what are you supposed to do

I'd wear a camisole underneath if I really wanted to wear something like that. I used to wear wrap style dresses at one point, and would always have a vest/camisole underneath

I did think that. Nobody wears tops like this?

Yes