New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?

[dtarer]

I sometimes wear tops that show some cleavage. It’s hard to avoid in most tops that aren’t super high cut.

I notice men sometimes look. But today in a meeting, a man did not stop staring.

his gaze was fixed the entire time he was talking to me. It was extremely uncomfortable.

I somehow feel it’s my fault this happened. But I really love this top and I don’t think it’s obscene. I find it hard to avoid showing some cleavage, especially in summer. It just suits my shape somehow.

I’ll post a pic of the top if it will let me.

Nice top! Honestly the amount of guys going around topless atm and we are expected to cover ourselves up - ridiculous! It looks nice, the guy was a creep!

Except they don't. A man would have to be wearing something very thin or sheer and they don't.

But men don’t wear under shirts anymore. I just think that no ones really looking at a man’s nopples unless they’re gay and there’s nothing wrong with that. But a body is a body. Some better than others. It doesn’t matter. Wear what ever you want as long as you’re not naked and flashing people. That’s a crime. Dressing how you want isn’t.

🤣🤣🤣 ok, because you said it, it must be true then. Do you realise that men do wear thin tops? And not everyone wears a shirt to work? I wear scrubs for some parts of my job and you can see my nipples along with other men’s nipples. Denying you can never see men’s nipples through their clothes is frankly ridiculous. But here is SC at his work event to prove my point.

Shouldn't thst have a sensitive image warning?
😂

Yeah, ewww

@dtarer
I would say that unfortunately it probably is too low cut for work without wearing a vest or top underneath it. That being said, it doesn't give that man the right to stare and make you uncomfortable. So I would firstly report to your line manager and secondly just pop a vest on for work to provide more coverage and prevent this happening.

My apologises 🤣

To play devils advocate here…where is your proof to take to HR?

Surely you need evidence of something and unfortunately I don’t think you have much.

FWIW though it’s creepy AF when a man does this.

Is it possible he had just zoned out. I’ve done that before (not looking at clevage) and been asked why I’m staring at xyz

Yes

Well Simon goes to work on international television and it seems to be ok. I find that more ugly that a woman’s cleavage actually. It’s just seems to be normal for a woman but a man flaunting hard nipples is very off putting to me. Breasts are so much prettier than a man’s hard nipples in a tight tee shirt. And I’m not gay at all.

Yes.
I wouldn't have that much out even on a night out.

I have literally never seen a human being whose tits start at their neck.

Yup, on big gorgeous boobies

If he is new he probably doesn't know you are "the cleavage lady", I am sure he will get used to it and start to ignore

You haven’t lived than. I had a friend at work, they started very close to her neck. She was huge. My across the neighbors boobs are so big that when she sits at my kitchen island they are almost half the space. She doesn’t want a breast reduction though. She keeps getting hurt wbc she loses her balance. She’s 74. She loves them.

Nobody's tits, no matter how large, start at their neck only coverable with a crew neck jumper .

Well I could tell straight away that the photo was a model.

I don’t see the big deal about a cleavage. She didn’t have her nipples out 🙄

This thread is crazy. It does matter what she wore, the colleague is a misogynist douche who should control himself. They are just boobs for fuck sake!

if I can’t show the slightest hint of cleavage then it rules out any v neck, scoop neck tops which are the most flattering
I can’t wear polo necks or slash necks as I look ridiculous
not to mention trying to get clothes that fit when you have 34KK boobs to start with then you add in not showing cleavage and trying to actually look nice and well, it’s pretty impossible

my boobs aren’t hanging out but I’m not worrying about a couple of cm of cleavage shadow, I can still look 100% appropriate

Oh yes they do

wow, you must be fun

Don't be so utterly stupid.

Saying cleavage shouldn't be shown at work is a million miles away from saying women should be locked up.

I can only assume you have no knowledge or experience of the world because if you did you'd realise that there is such a thing as appropriate clothing for particular circumstances.
For example, a blouse that shows your cleavage - fine for a night out, inappropriate for the office.
Bikini - fine for the beach, inappropriate if an MP wore one in the House of Commons.
T shirt and shorts - absolutely fine in many casual circumstances but inappropriate if King Charles wore that outfit to the Trooping of the Colour.

Do you see? People should not and cannot wear whatever they like whenever they like. There are certain codes and standards of attire.

Okay mommy, whatever you say mommy

why