New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?

[dtarer]

I sometimes wear tops that show some cleavage. It’s hard to avoid in most tops that aren’t super high cut.

I notice men sometimes look. But today in a meeting, a man did not stop staring.

his gaze was fixed the entire time he was talking to me. It was extremely uncomfortable.

I somehow feel it’s my fault this happened. But I really love this top and I don’t think it’s obscene. I find it hard to avoid showing some cleavage, especially in summer. It just suits my shape somehow.

I’ll post a pic of the top if it will let me.

Seriously!!!!!!

Why dont you wear a camisole - I am big up top but I don't wear plunging necklines! I wear smart shirts/blouses with buttons!

Is this for real ? Not appropriate for work.

How would you feel if I showed that much of my boobs at work to a class of fifteen year old boys every day, OP?

But what about the dozen’s of men’s nipples I see everyday sticking out of their shirts? Why are nipples, which you can’t control a women’s issue?

This.

Well - it depends what kind of work you mean! 😆

Okay then. Maybe I should have rephrased it. But you can't deny that women want to wear these sorts of tops (for a reason?)

Why are you showing it at work? You know it's a cleavage. Even you are acknowledging people looking. I would look too and think it attention seeking. I have a pretty good body but never wear anything to show it. That would be unprofessional.

Is your workplace very cold?!

I wouldn’t wear a top that low to work. I think if you can see a cleavage line on big boobs or a gap on the chest between smaller boobs then it’s not very professional. Totally different to a night out. I’m a DD and I choose tops that are v neck as high necks aren’t flattering on me (they give me a frumpy shelf of a chest) but they still look good without having any cleavage on show. I’d wear a cami top under a wrap top.

I think the top is inappropriate in a work situation - whether male or female, it draws the eye to the cleavage and I really don’t want to have my eyes drawn to a woman’s cleavage at work any more than I want a man wandering around in extremely tight trousers, or with a large expanse of hairy chest exposed in the workplace. It’s uncomfortable to have your eye drawn to something you know you shouldn’t be staring at - and it is definitely inappropriate to sit and stare. Imo, just as nakedness at work is way outside our cultural norms, I think a top cut low enough that a woman with smaller breasts would have the whole lot flopping out if her top were cut that low, is too low for work. Outside of the work environment is another matter entirely - it’s an extremely flattering top for someone with a good cleavage.

I think that’s inappropriate for work. Colleague being unreasonable for staring.

I don't think cleavage is suitable for most working environments. And while the top is nice, that's not what you're asking here. The top draws attention to and highlights the wearer's breasts, particularly their cleavage.

I hated men looking at mine, especially at work. (I once had a horrific experience with David Walliams staring down my top). My solution, to never wear anything that revealed any flesh below the collarbone. Yes, that's extreme, but men stare. They should know better but many do not. I felt my only way to control the situation was to keep myself covered up.

The irony is of course I surrendered both breasts when I discovered I had breast cancer. They were fabulous. I now wish I'd shown them off far more than I did. Even so, I still would have covered myself at work. Outside of work would have been different!

You've also responded to one part/sentence of my post but not the others? Not that you need to, obviously, but it's also something that irritates me.

I’m referring to the pp who posted a picture to compare the two tops. Maybe read the thread first love.

We are told at work to wear clothes that you can't see down, up or through. I think that's generally sage advice for a work environment.

So many strange women commenting.

There is absolutely nothing wrong in that top.
I don’t understand why so many seem to think cleavage is a bad thing to see!!!

Fuck my life! Sometimes it feels like we as a society are getting worse not better.

You could have been wearing a see through bikini and he shouldn’t have been staring.

I’m referring to the pp who posted a picture to compare the two tops. Maybe read the thread first love.

I guess you missed we are discussing if this top is appropriate for work. If you can't help spilling out of a top because of top's design, a solution could be to wear a different top to work.

Well my female gay colleague used to vocally point out my breasts sitting at our desks telling me how amazing they were - the men were in shock and the women laughed. I felt so exposed. This was in around 2007 though.

And that has is relevant how? Nipples show through shirts from both men and women. Get over it.

I would probably stare at a man wearing a t-shirt with a deep V. Not appropriate at work.

I was being facetious. I mean, how would one leave their breasts at home?

If you haven’t noticed this is a thread, people add to the discussion, that’s how this works didn’t you know? I’ll explain, another poster, not op shared a picture of her in two tops from the POV a of a woman with large breast, both pictures are ok for work, highlighting she has cleavage but not to the extent that op pictures showed. Get it now?

It’s hard to tell since the pic isn’t the op and tops look radically different. I wear some stuff that is wrap or v neck, but on me the concern is that it not gape too much as pretty much all you can see is sternum. I wear a cami under wrap dresses or theyd be too gapy.
op, irrespective of top he shouldn’t have been staring and you’re fully entitled to say - the screen is that way or bob is talking not my boobs. Or speak to your manager. BUT, I’m in corporate and I don’t see cleavage, not even in the young single EAs who dress well, they might wear short suits and show legs but no cleavage. And none of the more senior women ever. Both of these statements can be true at once.