Asking if you took a Ukrainian guest in your home why you want them gone asap?

[Anhelina2000xx]

My experience as Ukrainian coming to UK. Many people want the Ukrainian guest for them house but when we are there straight away want you to leave asap and getting the job asap even if it is the very bad job.
This is my experience and the experience of very many Ukrainian people I speak to. Why? Why does the English agree to have Ukrainians for them house but plan to make them leave asap? In my first home in UK she want me to get the job after 1 week! 1 week not very many time to even relax and try to speak my family from Ukraine! My brothers was forced in war just one day he go and buy the food at the shop!
Was they told the Ukrainian is only staying for a week or something like this? Or when you live with Ukrainian you start to hate them so you say please get a job right now please find a new place? And this is not only me, this is very many Ukrainians. Told to come them to this home. Then told please to leave asap!
Why?

Good attempt at pidgin English @Anhelina2000xx . 7/10 as just a bit too obvious.

Yeah not the second they arrive though. Can you not imagine how traumatic it must of been having to leave your home, move country with a different language and leave you husband and sons etc to fight in a war.

I was replying to tuvamoodyson, not the OP 🙄

I think you are quibbling unnecessarily when the intent of the post is clear. It is hardly likely that the OP meant to add “of course the Welsh and Scots were fantastic and I am just singling out English people”. Allow some latitude for language differences and also speaking on an informal forum rather than getting cross and derailing

I mean this is the best way- but it’s been 3 and a half years since Putin invaded. It’s not a long term solution to live in another persons home. I would expect you have sorted something or accommodation for yourself out by now. And nothing wrong with taking any job- we have to do that? I wouldn’t rely on other people funding me or my family. The idea is a refuge whilst you get help , jobs, homes etc

All of this.

I think a lot of people saw what was happening and wanted to help out in an emergency situation by offering emergency accommodation. It was never supposed to be a “as long as it takes” arrangement, it was support to find your feet in the UK and help with practical things like getting children into school or to register with a doctor . A Ukrainian with a good level of spoken/written English may well be able to find a job in a week.

And again...

I was replying to tuvamoodyson, not the OP.

In Ireland there is a lot of bitterness too, as many Ukrainian people are out earning the locals, while living in hotel accommodation, no heating or electric bills, food allowance and full benefits if unemployed.

Plus the councils pushed 1000s to the top of the housing list, the backlash stopped this, but 100's if not more properties were allocated.

Culturally people from Ukraine are more direct, it can come across as abrupt.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience, surely 3 year's later, you were re-homed

But @tuvamoodyson was just explaining why the OP might have used it.

I'm sure they don't actually think English and British mean the exact same thing.

It's all pretty irreverent anyway since the OP seems to have tapped the fish tank and rushed off giggling.

Councils were pushing families to push their guests and £300 a month is basically the lowest rate for a room without any bills included.

People opened their homes with their hearts but really it cost a lot of money them.

Any job is better than no job and especially if there was ever plans to move into your own independent housing that job needs to come asap to build up the funds and prove you could hold down the job for the rental.

I think the idea of helping a Ukrainian (or any other) refugee is very different from the reality, it seems like a really good charitable thing to to, but having any house guest can get difficult and someone from a different culture maybe with not very good English could become very difficult quite quickly, particularly if the host isn't well off and has to provide everything. They may be quite desperate for the guest to start contributing financially.

I know someone married to a Ukrainian and their Ukrainian MIL, BIL and his wife, have been staying for some time due to the war and even that is not plain sailing!

"Irreverent" is a bit steep; I'm sure it's just ignorance. But yes, yet another drop and run. Maybe there should be a rule that you can't start a thread until you've posted on others at least, say, ten or fifteen times.

Autocorrect! I meant irrelevant! 🤣🤣

Well, perhaps not for a native British person! I’m Scottish, I fully understand that English isn’t shorthand for British!! But that’s because English is my first language and I’m not Ukrainian! 🙄

I know. 🙂

I think some romanticised the idea of helping someone out, or wanted the kudos for it. But quickly found the reality of someone from another culture having gone through trauma a very different prospect to the one they imagined.

So essentially for many it was a poorly thought out plan.

Obviously that is only one of many reasons why it wouldn't/didn't work out.

Seems strange to ask this question three years after most Ukrainians fleeing the Russian invasion arrived in the UK.

I think a lot of people probably didn't realise how hard it is to have a long term guest in your house...most people can barely cope with their own relatives staying over for extended periods.

I very much suspect that some people who took in Ukrainian refugees have a saviour complex and did so for mostly selfish reasons. They loved the idea of “doing the right thing” and all the praise and admiration that came with it, but weren’t prepared for the reality of living with highly traumatised human beings from a different culture in need of real support.

My friend hosted a female Ukrainian for well over a year. She got a good job in a school, (still below what she was qualified to do in Ukraine) and she stayed with my friend and hubby for over a year. Then she decided she was going to stay forever and not go back so she looked for her own house. Now she is totally independent, supports herself but still remains very good friends with my friend and all her friends and family. They socialise a lot. Like every week they go out. So I am sorry a lot of Ukrainians have not been treated good but please remember there are many who has. As people there are many reasons why hosting someone did not work out. I worked as a British nanny for years in America. A lot of my European friends jobs did not work out, and a lot of the time it was personality clashes more than anything. It’s difficult to have someone in your home full time and if you end up not actually liking that person very much it makes it very difficult for everyone. But I am sorry it seems like you know many who were not given what they need, which is safety, then time to adjust.

The scheme was set up as a temporary short term measure. The government said a maximum of 6 months for Ukrainians to find jobs and housing of their own. The equivalent scheme for Hong Kong Chinese families fleeing persecution didn’t involve any opportunity to live with a British family while they get themselves settled.

Have you ever had guests for longer than a few days? There is a saying that guests are like fish: after 3 days they start to smell.

I hosted a Ukrainian family for over a year. I helped with all the things you need, schools, bank accounts, doctors, UC and found a part time job for Mum. They left after a year as they wanted city life. I still visit and buy birthday/Christmas presents. I am not saying that it was all plain sailing. There are cultural differences and different expectations but with good will and flexibility on both sides and compassion and understanding it can work.

People outside the U.K. often do use the two as one and the same. Less so now than in the past, but it still happens.