Asking if you took a Ukrainian guest in your home why you want them gone asap?

[Anhelina2000xx]

My experience as Ukrainian coming to UK. Many people want the Ukrainian guest for them house but when we are there straight away want you to leave asap and getting the job asap even if it is the very bad job.
This is my experience and the experience of very many Ukrainian people I speak to. Why? Why does the English agree to have Ukrainians for them house but plan to make them leave asap? In my first home in UK she want me to get the job after 1 week! 1 week not very many time to even relax and try to speak my family from Ukraine! My brothers was forced in war just one day he go and buy the food at the shop!
Was they told the Ukrainian is only staying for a week or something like this? Or when you live with Ukrainian you start to hate them so you say please get a job right now please find a new place? And this is not only me, this is very many Ukrainians. Told to come them to this home. Then told please to leave asap!
Why?

I’m so sorry that you’ve been treated this way. Many British would not have been in a position to host someone from Ukraine and I feel awful that the hosts would treat you this way.
Im not sure of the legality but if the host wants you gone, will your local council be able to help?

Probably not helped by the fact that there are Ukrainians who have come over and immediately started working. That is a stereotype of Ukrainian people, that they just get on with it.

I'm not in the UK, but live somewhere which has also had a lot of Ukrainians come to live. I can't speak for your individual situation, and I'm sorry this happened, but judging by neighbours and friends who have or had Ukrainian guests living with them for much longer periods, I think some of it was just cultural differences or the strain of having longterm houseguests, many of whom were also understandably traumatised. That, obviously, doesn't excuse someone making you unwelcome after a week. Can you talk to your host?

I am sorry you have had this experience. I know of several families who took in Ukrainians and this wasn't the case. I do think part of it may be though because people volunteered out of kindness, but maybe were unprepared for the distinct lack of financial support from the government in helping with this situation, and then the cost of living sky-rocketed for English people. So maybe the English hosts found themselves to be not coping financially as well as they thought they would.

I think people got swept up in the 'blitz spirit of it all and didn't think about the reality of having a New family living with yours long term

Sorry for your experience, you've been through so much and deserve better x

I live in an area where a fair few people took in Ukrainian people and I agree with a PP that it seems the hosts were financially unprepared. I think they did it out of kindness but then it became apparent that there wasn’t much government support (financial, cultural or practical). And they kind of expected the people to act like a lodger I.E. have a job to pay for groceries, help with bills, help with chores. Rather than being in a position to financially or empathetically take in someone who is traumatised and completely starting over

I suppose some of the people who have the space at home and the kindness to offer to take someone/some people in, can not also afford to financially support the refugees in all other ways. They can offer a home but not everything else free long term. That is understandable, especially in this financial climate. It’s hard for you, though, I can see that.

Some English hosts are/were twats, as were some Ukrainian guests.

That's Humans for you.

Genuine question because I don't know the answer.

Were the English the only people in the UK to take in Ukrainians?

And if not, were there no problems in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland OP?

I mean in regards to the job situation, yes you should take any job you can get. That's the standard that British people are held to if they claim benefits so you should be as well.
Also Putin invaded Ukraine 3 years ago. I don't think someone wanting you out as a houseguest after 3 years is being unkind or pushy.

Personally, I know one family who housed a Ukrainian family for about a year and another family who still have 3 Ukrainians living with them two and a half years later. So it’s not all British people. Good luck!

Some people may want to help... and be able to put a roof over your head but not be able to feed, clothe and pay all your expenses.

Why dont you want to work?

I met a young man who was being in my opinion quite picky about work.
He’d been here a while and wasn’t happy with fairly basic jobs- didn’t like the conditions/hours etc.
We all have to work. If we can’t get a better job, we do a basic job to make ends meet while we look. If we don’t like our job we look for another rather than giving up the one we have.

I think hosts will have been unprepared for guests who had leisure time that the host didn’t have, or spending capacity that the host didn’t have, because that’s human nature. We don’t want to give our resources and hospitality to people who are at some level ‘doing better’ than we are.

I mean, you should work if you can. A place to stay is one thing, but not many people who can offer that can also pay for your food and other necessities.

I think that's fair enough.

I think a lot of British people underestimated the cultural differences.

Also it’s not unreasonable to expect the Ukrainians to work, the British hosts were kind enough to offer a home but they shouldn’t have been expected to financially support the guest for extended time also.

Perhaps, OP meant English as in British…

Also, the family who wanted you out after a week are the only ones who will know the reason why.

Did they or the authorities really not tell you the reason?

Scotland has definitely taken in Ukrainian people. I imagine Wales and NI too.

English is not shorthand for British.

I had a family with me for 5 months. They did get jobs within about 3 months and moved into a private rental near us. Three years later they are settled, we see them regularly and they seem to feel grateful for what we did
I took advice from a psychiatrist who was an expert in PTSD in refugees from war zones who I met through a contact. He said the best thing to do was to move quickly towards a new normal and routine which involves the child at school, parents working and able to be financially independent. They aren’t doing the professional jobs they did as language is a barrier but will never go back I think as their home is now part of Russian Federation
I am sorry if you have had a bad experience. But I thought we needed to plan for how the hosting ended right from the start and gave them every help to find jobs and a home. I didn’t want them to feel rejected and unwelcome and I think eventually these arrangements can end that way if there is no plan.

A young and fit refugee should surely be prepared to work to help with the extra expense incurred by the family and no one is going to walk into a good job easily.

We had a family stay with us for 12 months (the government asks hosts to take guests for at least six months), though we didn’t ask them to leave. They just became independent and obviously wanted their own place. We consider them family now, we love them and still see them every week. I never put pressure on our guest to find work straight away because she was very traumatised but it was difficult to get the jobcentre to understand this.

But in answer to your question here are a few things to remember:

Most hosts did this out of the goodness of their hearts and discovered that it costs a lot more than the £300 a month from the government to keep an extra family.

The local council puts pressure on hosts to encourage independence in guests. In the UK people are not allowed to just sit round and not work. If they do, the government will stop their benefits. The amount of benefits that are paid is small, not enough for a good life. People are much better off going to work.

In the UK we have a housing crisis. There are not enough homes for the number of people and housing is VERY expensive. Your host understands that if you want to find somewhere to live in the future you will need to have saved a lot of money. Our guest had to pay £6000 to get a small flat (six months rent up front as she had no credit history in the UK). Your host will need to encourage you to do this, and the council will check regularly that they are doing it.

Some Ukrainians have expected to get houses from the council but unfortunately in most areas these no longer exist. If no plans or savings have been made, it is a big problem for the council and they want to make sure that doesn’t happen, so they put a lot of pressure on hosts to make sure guests are working and saving.

So you need to be thinking of the future and start planning as early as possible, or you will have no chance of ever living independently. Do not think that it’s because hosts don’t want you. Remember that they understand the UK and know how things work much better than you do! I understand it must feel like they are trying to push you but it genuinely isn’t done with bad feeling. We all want what is best for you until it is safe for you to return home. слава Україні 💙💛

Bloody hell give her a break she's not from here and English isnt her first language

I'd say it is a personality clash.
A lot of people reacted with their heart, not their head.
I know a few families who hosted for months, others cannot afford to keep up with the expenses.

Well, if you're seriously going to get arsey over a Ukrainian person erroneously substituting "English" for "British", I'm afraid I've got news for you. It happens all the time. Don't expect everyone in the rest of the world, or even Europe, to be knowledgeable of the difference. You'll be waiting a long time if you do.