40 years of school ends today.

[RapunzelsSplitEnds]

Our first child began school in 1985 and our youngest has his final day at school today.
There are huge age gaps between each of our three dcs and for the first time in forty years, there will be no child to start school after the holidays.
It must sound really silly but I’m finding it difficult to process or finding positive answers.
I have a lot of work planned in order to keep really busy over the next few months and aim to squash the inner voice saying “Is that it?”

Sorry if this isn’t making sense but I feel quite lost right now. I would really appreciate any helpful advice especially how others have coped.

I studied it for my own GCSEs, taught it as a new teacher and all 3DCs have studied it including Y10 DD currently.

What an achievement OP - I'm in the opposite situation with 3DC across only 4 school years (though 5 'real' years age gap) Secondary school is going by in a flash with DC2 leaving this year. I work in primary now though so will be still be in school mode for quite a while yet.

Wow OP! I am 2 years older than your eldest and my daughter is 2 years younger than your youngest!

When I think how school was when I started and how it is now, it's amazing to think you've watched it evolve! Enjoy this new phase of life!

I can't even begin to imagine dealing with school stuff for so long, and the stress that goes with it.

DD was an only (infertility) and when she left school I was quite relieved that I didn't have other children to have to go through it all again.

When DD went to university I joined a book group and a charity. At 66 I still work and am enjoying a good life/work balance.

When I retire I will have a look at what the local U3A group has to offer.

Congratulations on completing an amazing milestone!! It takes a while to decompress form that type of routine though, good job you have plans to be busy.
I had a similar thing with primary schools as we had used the same school across a 20 yr period for our 4 children. I was crying as I handed out gifts to the teachers - I am a teacher myself!! I still have contact personally with a couple of the teachers.
I am now totally attached to my youngest child's secondary specialist school !! I am making the most of the next few years he is there but will likely still support them moving forward.

wow congrats OP this is an amazing story 💖

Hats off to you I’m 52 and have an 18 year old.

Wow @RapunzelsSplitEnds that’s amazing!

Please consider writing a book. Seriously. You will have such a unique perspective on the changes over that period of time. It would be fascinating!

Maybe @mnhq could back it - I live what you said about the “cathedral of wisdom”😁

I agree with others that you could book a term time holiday. My parents were teachers and it was a great joy to me to be able to go holiday when children were at school as I chose another career. I am retired now and hate being anywhere if children are on holiday .I relish going away in September and seeing children are at school when we are on days out.

My mum did the same thing as she had me in her early 40s, rare back in the day. Women collected their pension at 60 and I was still at school (just). I remember buying her 60th bday card with a friend and her thinking WTF.

Wow @RapunzelsSplitEnds - 40 years of school stuff! I only did 17 years and that was truly enough. V relieved when it was all over, but nothing much changed for me as I was working and I didn't physically do school runs in secondary. Covid also marred the last two years of my youngest's school 'career'.

I'm done with primary school on Friday after 19 years - I can barely wait!

Have to say though that I've spent most of this final year of drop offs and pick ups having nightmares about me turning up heavily pregnant on the final day and the headteacher bursting into tears at the idea of another Little PPP starting in 5 years time! I'm 48 so whilst not inconceivable, it would definitely be disastrous!

Roll on the end of big school too.

The kids and their school is part of your identity, it is literally ingrained in you and is your norm.

Its a huge change to have in part of your identity taken away from you.

It’s also the realisation that they’ve grown up so quickly.

You still have so much to look forward to and to experience both as a parent and an individual.

Think of it as the next exciting chapter in yours and your kids lives, rather than be too sad that it’s over.

Oh wow that's incredible @RapunzelsSplitEnds and here's me over here just starting out and im already tired. My little one is in reception and welcomed another baby earlier last year.

Hope you do something lovely to celebrate. X

Crikey 40 years! By the time DD finishes Year 13, I will have had a child at school for 28 years & I thought that was a long time 😂.

Wow, I've just finished 30 years of school run, and thought I was very unusual.😁
School started 1995 for DD, 2 DC in 00's and now youngest DS has just finished and will be at College in September. I am so looking forward to just getting in my car and driving to work without the extra detour, and getting up a bit later when on WFH days.

I was weirded out after 15 years, OP. Including Covid.

Sending you big hugs. You'll get through it.

Roll your eyes all you want but it’s a genuine question. If she hasn’t had a job then yes she’ll feel like a spare part as that’s all she’s done for 40 years, most people feel like that when they retire.

Also how much parenting are you actually doing when your child is in high school? You’re not taking them to school or making their packed lunch, they do that themselves. I would be highly embarrassed if my mother was still walking me to school at 16, all teenagers would be. School life routine usually ends when your child leaves ordinary school, in secondary school you should be teaching independence and how to do things for yourself like a responsible adult.

Had my first 1980 , second 1982, third in 2001 . Did 39 years of childcare at home. Education changed considerably over the years. It really is two generations eldest was 21 doing his finals, second one heading off to university when the third was born. We're now paying for his final year of university because he had a two year working gap between his degree and his master's.

Have five grandchildren eldest ten, youngest 6.

The day I took my youngest to school for the first time walked through the same gates in 2005 that I'd walked through in 1984. A surreal feeling.

Love this. I am same age as your oldest. How did you find being a young mum in the 80s compared to an older mum 20 years later in terms of the primary school years?

There’s 26 years between my eldest and youngest too although I didn’t have one in the middle! My youngest will start school next year and, although I actually enjoyed the school run and getting involved with my eldest’s education, I’m not sure how I feel about starting all over again and part of me wants to run away and do world schooling or something unconventional this time! I think it’s probably the 12 year break I’ll have had! My eldest did carry on studying for 10 years after school but I’d long stopped being able to help
him! It will be interesting to see what has changed though - there were no WhatsApp groups in 1999 which is the biggest difference I’ve noticed so far!

We had 15 years between youngest and oldest and amazingly they are incredibly close as adults
I had forgotten the relentless 'test me mum- at exam times though...

Almost the same! Our child full life ended last year and the freedom is good. It's also very sad at times though! They're all happy and leading good lives which means we did it OK, despite the long years of insanity!

We are home from the last concert and that’s it! You have no idea how much you all helped me get through the last day. Thank you all.

TheSillyFox I am a farmer and also full time carer for my middle child, (now an adult) who went to a special school. My work starts tomorrow morning early as per usual and we have no plans to retire but I am planning a trip to Orkney. Dd will be with me.

Im in bed now and going to read this thread thoroughly but a huge hug to you all for being so understanding. 💐

I was much more cynical about modern day education, rolled my eyes a lot. Carried on doing a lot of reading with the third every evening. Ignored phonics. Bought Peter and Jane books, Famous Five etc. He was tested at 10 , had a reading age of 16. Amazing they said 🙄.

No not bloody amazing when you've lowered the bar so far.

It's been useful when my grandchildren parents have been upset by the school attitude. I've said carry on reading, handwriting practice, spellings, make it fun which is so much easier these days with the internet lessons. Don't be fooled when they're top in class. Again how low is the bar.

Kids are individuals treat them as such they may eat up the maths so is it too easy? Struggle elsewhere. Are they bored?

Lots of exercise and free play. They're like puppies.