40 years of school ends today.

[RapunzelsSplitEnds]

Our first child began school in 1985 and our youngest has his final day at school today.
There are huge age gaps between each of our three dcs and for the first time in forty years, there will be no child to start school after the holidays.
It must sound really silly but I’m finding it difficult to process or finding positive answers.
I have a lot of work planned in order to keep really busy over the next few months and aim to squash the inner voice saying “Is that it?”

Sorry if this isn’t making sense but I feel quite lost right now. I would really appreciate any helpful advice especially how others have coped.

Thats got to be a record for span divided by number of children! Unless you're a bloke maybe, though even then its going some!

I felt exactly the same. It’s very very weird having no school runs, no pack lunch to make, no uniforms to wash, no waking them up at a certain time. We had a kind of down time, slobby time to begin with 😳
I found that as they moved into the next chapter, whether it was uni, college, work, our family dynamic just adapted quite naturally with it. I definitely felt lost for a while though.

If the OP is a woman, that means first child born in 1981, last one possibly in 2007. A very wide age gap.

Though for someone like Mick Jagger, it will be much larger.

I can see why it will leave a void.

@RapunzelsSplitEnds we really need a 😮 emoji!! There ought to be an award or letter from the Monarch for that achievement. I am 20 years in, one more year to go until I am in the same boat… I have no idea whether I could have stayed sane with another 20 years of it ahead of me. Kudos to you (and other PP’s celebrating the end of the school run/PTA meeting!)

ANagsHead - Mumsnet helped more than I could ever explain, from the first question I had on feeding solids to many, many posts. It was like having an enormous cathedral full of brilliant support and back in the day, we used to have meet ups.
I see my maternal role shifting with the dynamics of the changes. Less full on but still there.
The biggest difference was raising our family with no television, it did make me wonder if they were missing out on things their friends had seen but it never bothered them then or now.

That's huge!

I started to completely disengage with school when they start secondary, Y7 here, so it's a much much smaller part of my life. Mine are quite independent, so knowing that I will just glance at school reports if they are very good is a good motivation. If they start getting down, they'll have me on their back.

It removed a huge mental load frankly.

Have you thought about getting your own "degree' (anything equivalent) in something new? Could be anything, medical, history, foreign language. I don't know. It would occupy your brain, do something for you, and you will actually enjoy the free space you just got.

Physically, as normal, boost your social life and your job - whatever you are doing

Wow what an achievement! I expected you to say you were retiring from teaching. You will have seen some changes.
Now you will have more time for you and relaxing, meeting friends, new hobbies.
Why not consider being a school Governor? You would have a lot to give.

I remember someone I used to work with who was the youngest in a family of five where there were huge age gaps. She said that her Mum was pension age when she was still at school. This meant that, as in those days most benefits could be collected at the Post Office, her Mum was the only person turning up to simultaneously collect OAP and Child Benefit!

I am fascinated! What made you decide on the age gaps?

Wow that is incredible! I can understand how you feel as I think school gives us routine and also a social life in a sense.

Gosh. We have first/middle/high school. Our middle school is rondel and I am very sad that I'll be going to my last summer concert there tonight, before my youngest starts high school in a couple of weeks (they do a transition fortnight), I've only got 2 children, and only 3 years between them. Middle school has only been part of our lives for 6 years, but it's been such a good school. I am far more emotional about this than my eldest's prom.

Wow, 40 years of being a parent to school-age children. That is incredible. Bravo to you! As others have said, one suggestion for finding a purpose now that your kids are no longer at school would be to write about your experience of being a parent to your three kids with large age-gaps!!! I'd love to read about this (and if you need a ghost-writer DM me!)

Wow. 40 Years!!

Surely you must have grandkids by now, or some on the horizon? Parents always want help with school runs :)

I've got a 13 year age gap between my eldest and youngest and two in between which amounts to 26 years of dealing with schools. It's a big part of your life.

I knew someone with 26 year between her eldest and youngest -but she had 8 overall - 2 then space then two more then last 4 in rapid succession - started at 18 - and finished 44 - married to same man all that time - both worked though she did p/t all in 3 bed house - though oldest three had moved out though they were close with the parents and went round regularly. They tried for one more but had miscarriages.

Then had first GC about year after her last.

I've just finished 16 years with school - though yougest is going on to college - so pack lunches still but no uniform and way less contact than with school.

It's odd time as 4 school years between mine - so it very rapid change as they head of for Uni one after the other - we'll be down to one fingers crossed come September.

Me too. I'm sorry, I know it's your life and not a tv show to entertain me, but that age span must be quite unusual, no?

Enjoy your retirement, and the extra brain space freed up now you no longer have school admin to deal with.

I'm the third of 4. There are 13 years between us, and we are all in our 50s and 60s now. DM (80s) says that she still does a mental check on us every night before she goes to sleep.

I passed this milestone a few years back, but there are still days when it gets to about 3.30 and I find myself excitedly waiting for someone who isn't coming.

BUT at least I get a lie-in!

Congratulations OP.

The age gaps just happened but there are others in my family with these 13 year gaps, quite a few now that I think about it.
Study would be something to look forward, I’d love to learn Dutch and have a plan to travel to Orkney by bus now that I’ve been given a bus pass. The pension age keeps getting moved so I’ll probably be 108 by the time it’s awarded..

Aww I can imagine i might feel like that too when the time comes. I love hearing the door open and have them running in to tell me about their day. I imagine the enthusiastic running dwindles a bit as they grow up but all the same....

How old is your youngest ?

I am 16 years into being a school run mum and I am counting down the years until I finish, 3 to go! I am impressed you have been doing it for 40 years, that is incredible.

18. She's already said he's finishing school and born 2007.