40 years of school ends today.

[RapunzelsSplitEnds]

Our first child began school in 1985 and our youngest has his final day at school today.
There are huge age gaps between each of our three dcs and for the first time in forty years, there will be no child to start school after the holidays.
It must sound really silly but I’m finding it difficult to process or finding positive answers.
I have a lot of work planned in order to keep really busy over the next few months and aim to squash the inner voice saying “Is that it?”

Sorry if this isn’t making sense but I feel quite lost right now. I would really appreciate any helpful advice especially how others have coped.

I'm hoping that none of the staff say anything nice to me at the leavers service or I will just cry. I chickened out when he left preschool and said a cheery "see you tomorrow" to the staff on the 2 nd to last day. Then I got dh to take him in and collect him in his last day.

Nope, can’t relate. When my last finished school I was beyond thrilled. AND, I would consider that all kids and ourselves had positive school experiences.

It’s just a huge pain in the arse, the fact that you have to run to a schedule, that never suits, and is totally outside your control. God, I despised that aspect. Used to live for school holidays where it all reverted to DH/my schedule instead.

At one point we took the kids out of school for the better part of a year as I scored a remote travelling working opportunity. The older ones did attend local schools where possible but it was more a cultural experience/babysitting frankly and not compulsory (we were able to claim special circumstance and keep enrolled with authorised absence). It was the best time, not due to the work opportunity per se, but simply the fact that we were free of having to fit in with the whole rigid schooling schedule, and stupid stress it involved.

It may surprise you and you might miss things a lot less than you expect.

i have four adult children. Mine are close together and I worked full time as well as raising them. They went to a P-12 school, so from preschool through to the end of Year 12. I thought after 21 continuous years I’d really miss their school. I know what time of year all the extra special event are.

But, do you know what I missed in the end? Nothing! Not one single thing!

It surprised me a bit, but honestly, all those years of homework, exam stress, musicals, choirs, sports, drop offs and sometimes up to four different pick up times, I missed nothing!

I’d like to say it freed up some time in my life, but with work, I’m just as busy as ever. I just don’t have to ever negotiate the school car park and pick up time and I love that!

I bet the changes have been significant!
I have just 2 kids and a small age gap. My eldest started ireception n 2009, my youngest has his y13 leavers'assembly tomorrow.

It is a cliche I know but the years really have flown !
School have compiled a photo montage of the leavers on their first day at school....son is gonna love it :)

I will have done 34 years of school by the time my youngest leaves! It will be very odd!

Blimey, I thought I was an outlier, first child started in 1999, last one will finish sixth form June 2026.

Wow 40yrs that’s impressive!!

I’ll be feeling similar to you in a couple of years when I finish doing school runs, it’ll be 24yrs for me! Although I’m already helping with the odd nursery run for granddaughter so maybe I’ll never actually stop 😂!

I started school in the same year as your eldest. That is an impressive run, congratulations!

This happened for me back in 2020 when my youngest DD (of 3) left school. Eldest had started school in 2000 and was already through university by then too. She now works and owns her own house. Youngest then went to uni too, graduated last summer and is now working.

It is the swift passage of time that really amazes me. I find it gobsmacking that my eldest turned 30 recently and youngest is about to turn 23. Middle one will be 27 soon too. Where does the time go!? I remember those babies as they all arrived as clearly as if it were yesterday!!

I think we all frequently feel sentimental as each chapter comes to a close, but life goes on. Your role in their lives changes but it doesn't end. We have also now regained the freedom to go on better value holidays during school term time and have done that several times too.

Your feelings are normal but you and your family will adapt. Give yourself something great to look forward to. A nice holiday to somewhere you've always wanted to visit perhaps?

I actually can’t tell you how much I needed to read this. My eldest will be nearly 40 by the time my youngest finishes school. I have others in between them but have managed to space the two youngest in such a way that the year my second youngest goes off to secondary my toddler will start school which has effectively bought me eight more years of school runs. I’ve been feeling a bit down about the relentlessness of it all (and more than a bit battered by a couple of the older ones’ exams) but this has really reminded me to try and slow down and savour the moments a bit more because I’m only going to have one more set of firsts and the lasts are already beginning 💜

We ended 16 years of it last week
Although recently DS came and went and there was no more school run it does feel like the end of an era

Wow! I feel like a fraud now, counting down until my only child heads off to uni in 2 years. I can understand why you'd feel a void.

I only have 2 years left, have 12 years done and 2 to go. I ll be thrilled when the endless school runs come to an end.

Out of interest how old are you @RapunzelsSplitEndsand how old were you when you had each of your kids?

Maybe consider applying to be a governor at some point? You'd bring a useful perspective with the different practices you've observed.

I was born in 1980 and my eldest child has just finished his A levels so I assume there must be a 27-27 year age gap between the OPs eldest and youngest children!

You may adjust more quickly than you think OP. It's exactly a year since my youngest left school and I have already started to lose track of the pattern of the school year - and that's despite the fact I do some voluntary work with school aged children. As an example, we had some uncharacteristically nice weather here in February and DH and I decided to go for a walk in a popular tourist spot that we generally avoid because it gets so busy, but is usually pretty quiet in Winter. We couldn't even get parked and had to come home! We were mystified and then it dawned on me that it was half term. I had completely forgotten about it, which is surprising when you consider that holiday dates would have been etched on my brain and pretty much dictated our lives for the last 20 odd years. I knew that would happen but I didn't expect it to be quite so rapid!
Though a few days ago DH suggested booking a holiday as for various reasons we haven't planned anything so far this year. I rolled my eyes and said that I thought it would be very difficult to find anywhere good at such short notice now. He then pointed out that we weren't restricted to school holidays any more and he was thinking of an Autumn break. So maybe I'm not quite adjusted yet after all!

My first school run was 1975,my last 2010, 21 years between oldest and youngest, second marriage
.a. Year after youngest DD was born dgs was born. Then more dgks ,am actually doing a school run in a minute for 15 year.old dgd,who is staying over. I never fitted in the clicky school mums since the 70s when I had friends with kids the same age ..
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I will be starting picking up when DGC starts school next year. Really not looking forward to the school gates. Last did this in 2012

My youngest finishes school next year (6th form) after 27yrs of school run. I cannot wait

That's amazing OP.

I've just worked out that my "school years" are going to span 27 years. I have 15 years between them, so my eldest had finished and I had a year off before my youngest started reception. That one year when neither was in education was also the year that Covid shut schools - very fortunate timing for us all.

Good God! No more school concerts, no more PTA meetings, no more dinner money, no more parents evenings. Celebrate like it's VE Day!

Wow so you were 47 when your last child was born?

Just finished 25 years. Four children. First started 2001 and last finished last week. She still has college to do but that involves less involvement once she’s settled into her course in September.

We went out and got ourselves some holiday shoes today and realised I wouldn’t have to buy school shoes next month for the first time in 25 Septembers!

I’m looking forward to our non school holiday holiday next month and the freedom from the school system.

I didn’t have big gaps like you, @RapunzelsSplitEnds, but I do remember that feeling, when the youngest finished school. I did realise how nice it was not to have to have all the term dates, holiday dates and in-service days marked on my calendar!

Then ds2 decided to do his teacher training, when he graduated, and now I am back to having to have some idea of the term dates.