40 years of school ends today.

[RapunzelsSplitEnds]

Our first child began school in 1985 and our youngest has his final day at school today.
There are huge age gaps between each of our three dcs and for the first time in forty years, there will be no child to start school after the holidays.
It must sound really silly but I’m finding it difficult to process or finding positive answers.
I have a lot of work planned in order to keep really busy over the next few months and aim to squash the inner voice saying “Is that it?”

Sorry if this isn’t making sense but I feel quite lost right now. I would really appreciate any helpful advice especially how others have coped.

Oh wow OP I thought I'd had a long haul of school runs! Currently on year 21 and my youngest is 6 so I've still a way to go yet!

I must admit I will cheer with joy when I'm no longer tied to the school run life but I agree it's a huge change to face when it's been your day to day for such a huge chunk of your life.

22 years of school finished here , not sure how to advice so will watch this thread with interest. Your not alone

Just been working out your age when you had your DCs. I wonder how they get on / how close they are with such big age gaps?

Personally I would be booking myself onto breaks/ holidays (UK and abroad). Start this September

Congratulations for making it through!!

I have big age gaps too. Dc1 started school in 1993, and dc4 is in year 8, so 32 years so far.... It's pretty scary when you write it down like that!

congratulations on your new beginning!

That's an amazing achievement @RapunzelsSplitEnds and it's something that puts you in expert territory, so thank you for sharing your knowledge.

I won't serve anywhere near that time as a school mum but I do have in common that I had my one and only at an age which means I'll be around 65 when he finishes his school career. He hasn't yet started, he's 4 at the very end of August and we've had the start deferred to next year, so I have it all to come. I'm very cheered by your post, it's making me look forward to it all.

I"m trying to work it out - so your youngest is 18 and therefore was born in 2007, but your oldest started school in 1985 so was born in 1981 - my goodness you have stamina, woman!

We are about to finish a 9 year association with DD primary school which is about 3 minutes walk from our house and we have a very love/hate relationship with the very loud, very single minded HT. We can hear her on Sports days and school fair days through her megaphone, in our back yard. So I don't think our association will be over until she retires!

Wowsers I was born when your eldest started school & I moan about my school runs (2dc 2 yr gap) 😆

I’ve done 22 years so far, got 10 left to go! That’s over 9 children. I’ve done 22 years in the same primary school, so when youngest leaves in 3 years I’ll have spent 25 years walking there twice a day, or 3 or 4 times a day when I had little ones in nursery!

That’s over 9 children.

😮

Wow, I can't even wrap my head around this.

I have 2 kids, and with only 19 months between them, they were only a year apart at school.

I was 45, and DH was 42, when our son left for Uni.

I was 46, and DH was 43, when our daughter left for Uni.

This was 10/11 years ago.

Travel is the answer - we love our adventures!

Travelling to Orkney by bus sounds fantastic! I think change, especially after 40 years, so often brings grief. We do so much to ward off sadness, but maybe you can just wander for a while, holding hands with that strange, dislocated feeling of loss. Other energies will appear and take up space, the sadness will get smaller. Parenting adults is something I'm just getting to grips with. It's a whole new journey isn't it? I hope yours takes you to Orkney to stand in silver light and the wind off the sea. Maybe see you there. X

This is so weird. I thought I had finishe ed with stuff but oh no! The transitions and leavings and so on. When my elder son went to Uni, I slept in his bed for weeks.
Younger one ,I worried. To ing and froing to schools, to Scout camps, to rehearsals and to a lesser extent Uni.

Then they reappear! One of them is livimg in our smallish home. Ive had to pick up some paid work.

I'm not dismissing your struggles, OP. Just expect the unexpected!

I only have one child but I felt very lost when he finished school.

I think you need to accept that that part of your life is done with and you need to give yourself permission to grieve. It may sound dramatic but it is a big change and we all handle it in different ways.

My eldest started school in 1994 and youngest will finish in 2032 so not far off 😂 I've got grandchildren the same age, younger and older than my youngest so can't see it he school run ending even then 😂

My eldest left school the same time youngest was Home Educated.
For me it was a huge relief, a sense of freedom and never looked back.

I found this so strange too, when my youngest finished secondary school I worked out how long I'd been living my life in terms and was amazed.

I was also amazed a couple of years later that I started putting my granddaughters term dates in the diary how quickly I got used to the change.

I’m overwhelmed with such lovely posts and am a tearful mess!
We are getting ready for the final music event of the school year namely Rock night. Ds playing bass, his brilliant pal on lead, music teacher on drums and the headmaster on vocals for Motörhead’s ‘Ace of Spades’!

My own headmaster used to think that Hymns were a bit edgy. Psalms only. We have come a long way…

Thank you all, it means an awful lot.❤️

It was a great day for me when my youngest finally left school. I was so done with uniforms, sports kits, laundry, paying for trips, the constant emails schools send out, parents evenings, the whole shebang. I don’t even know when schools are on holidays now and it’s a great feeling.

I remembering being quite wistful when my second (and last) child finished primary school. It was a village school, I knew everyone there, especially after a few years as chair of the PTA. It was a big part of our life and many of the friends that I made through that school still are.

However, I don't remember feeling wistful at all really when he finished secondary school. I had a much more distant relationship to the school, which was further away, and didn't know many people there very well at all. I didn't transport them to school, rarely went in for events etc and left most organization for my kids to sort out for themselves. Obviously you feel the way you feel, but I'm surprised how many people say they felt bereft/lost etc by the change. I'd understand it more if it was about the children leaving home, but that doesn't seem to be what you are saying. You are still just as much their mum when school has finished! And there is so so so much more to your life and to your family life than school stuff.

And if (unlike me) you are close to other parents etc at secondary school, then won't you stay in touch.

I still work on an academic year basis though as I work for a University. Maybe that is a relevant difference? I don't know.

Yes, I certainly didn't miss those ridiculous emails!!

Hats off to you OP, that is some achievement.
I’m going to a school reunion this weekend and have school friends who are already grandmothers in their mid 40s and doing the school run for their GC after years of doing it for their own DC who then had their own kids when they were barely out of school. I feel exhausted for my friends. DS will be going to school on his own from September and I can’t wait!!

My eldest started in 2016 and her younger bother will finish (assuming he stays on post 16) in 2032. It seems like a long time but it seems the years start to go faster as they grow older.

Our first one started in 1995 and youngest finished last year. It is the oddest feeling having none of them at home and despite how long it all took it really does seem to have flashed by.
The only young children we ja e round now are the grandchildren- and that's weird in itself!!

Congratulations OP on this huge milestone 🏅

Wow that’s a big milestone. No wonder you feel a bit bereft!

I started school in 1985 as well and my own DS finished in 2020. I found it odd as well not having a child in school and it was just the 1!!! I think Covid and exams being cancelled also had some effect as my one and only child never took GCSEs!