To not want to eat Chinese - help me to see if I’m being unreasonable

[Watermoves]

My partners favourite take away is Chinese. I’m not keen, I’m vegetarian (raised this way) and just find its bland and boring. I have eaten Chinese but I don’t really like it.

Therefore we often have Indian, Mexican, pizza etc if we have a takeaway all of which he also really likes. I often offer to get him a Chinese or suggest he gets one if I’m working late etc but he always says no.

it come to a head tonight as he wanted a Chinese take away and I didn’t fancy it but suggested I would get something else. He said it’s not the same eating a takeaway alone. I kinda get that, but I would have got myself an Indian. (We would be eating at the table together just different food)

He basically said I should suck it up and eat the Chinese food every so often for him? My rationale is that I shouldn’t have to eat what I don’t want or like?

who is being unreasonable?

If he eats different things for you then it shouldn't be that difficult to return the favour really. Chinese takeaway always seems to be over salted and quite one dimensional.

Good Chinese food is expensive so I'd cut down on the takeaway and eat out for this one.

Would Thai food suit both of you?

I'd insist on trying different restaurants at the very least. Some do really nice deepfried beancurd in salt/pepper or sauces. Many don't. Some there will be amazing veg satays. Others might put some thai dishes on the menu. But you do need to shop around.

To be honest this sounds a little bonkers to me. Why do you have to be ‘excited’ to have a Chinese just because he likes it? Just get something different or don’t do takeaways. To me this is something that I’d not give a second thought and my DH would not be remotely fussed if I wanted something different to him. He’d just want me to eat what I like.
I think that’s the thing to reflect on. Does your partner behave like this about other things? Why is this such a big deal?

This sanctimonious response has made me want to order an extravagant mid-week takeaway.

Yes!!! Clay pot aubergine sounds amazing but does not exist in my home town 😅

If your Chinese vegetable dishes are bland + boring - it is your order/takeaway/restaurant's problem.

Chinese food is way more vegetarian friendly than British food. There isn't that need to put meat in every dish like there is in the UK.

I would recommend trying different dishes, or a different restaurant. I'm 100% sure that I could take you to China with me, and take you to the many vegetarian restaurants and you would be blown away by the food.

So that would be the easiest solution. If you can find good Chinese food (and China has around 63 distinct regional cuisines - so I guarantee you haven't tried all that there is) then you and your husband can both be happy.

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If not, then just do what every couple does. Compromise. Some of what you like, some of what he likes, some of what you both like. Some separate, some together. If you can't occasionally eat what he likes - its not great... and if he can't accept eating different orders because you want different things - its not great...

This is so easily resolved……..you could both learn to cook 🤨

Tell him you do you and he does him.

Fuck's sake it's meant to be a treat, not some ordeal you put yourself through to prove you love your partner. No, you don't need to try everything on the menu of every chinese takeaway in a 30-mile radius, or spend hours cooking your own chinese food, or go on holiday to china, before you are allowed to say you don't want chinese food. Tell him to grow the fuck up or better still, dump him because I would put money on it that he's shitty in other ways, too.

Sharing a discount code for WowzaBox, mentioned upthread. It is really very good! I'm a fan of regional Chinese food and it's a good enough alternative at half the price or less.

Veg options and sides on the current menu look great.

DH is like this with a Chinese, likes to ‘share the experience’. I don’t like Chinese, I can find something to eat but don’t enjoy, just find it really salty (and I love salt!).
So he’s just had to suck it up that I don’t get a Chinese as perfectly happy not wasting money on food I don’t like. Sometimes I’ll get a pizza or whatever but I now refuse. He’s gotten over it after a few mild discussions!

We don’t eat takeaway now because they are shit especially after Covid. When we did we would all get what we wanted from different venues. I don’t get the ‘it’s not the same’ argument. Tell him to grow up. If you don’t like Chinese takeaway he shouldn’t force you to eat it!

I mean if you’re having a takeaway once a week anyway, I don’t think it would hurt for once ever 3 months to make that a Chinese - compromise!

Also Chinese food can have a lot flavour, so maybe reevaluate your order.

But she can just get a different takeaway, she's not stopping him from getting Chinese

He's being unreasonable in wanting you to be 'excited' about a takeaway cuisine you don't really care for.

I'd eat a pizza occasionally but it wouldn't excite me!

My DH doesn't like chinese food so we just never ever get chinese takeaway. This is totally reasonable.

Is there any east-asian cuisine you do like? Indonesian curries? Thai?

Of course he’s being ridiculous. And if he wants to eat the same food then he should eat the same as you.

He needs to get a grip.

Is your partner Jack Karlson? 😝

Tell him that if he continues to persists to pressurise you into having something you really don't want you'll end up believing he is also bland & boring & you won't fancy having a bit of him either.

I’m the same, have never eaten Chinese takeaway food that I have enjoyed, most I have actively disliked.

I have had food in Chinese restaurants that has been ok, I would never choose it though.

And I’ve tried a few different ready meals - nope-, tried making stir fry at home with various different Chinese sauces from a jar - still not particularly keen, but the rest of the family love it, so I just serve mine out before mixing in the sauce. I also don’t like noodles, but I can put up with those every now and then.

I’ve tried it enough times, I know I just don’t like it.
And whilst I will put up with food I don’t particularly like as part of a family meal, there’s no reason to with a takeaway, as you can each choose different things anyway!

DH doesn’t like my favourite restaurant, there’s not ever anything on the menu he likes. I wouldn’t ever expect him to eat there. So I never suggest going there with him, and keep it for a very occasional treat with friends.

I find Chinese bland but also sugary!
but go to the takeaway and ask them for their most tasty sauce and demand it with veg -just see what they recommend.

Yanbu your not stopping him eating a Chinese. We often will get from different takeaways. Aslong as your eating together what's it matter what you eat. Im not wasting money and calories on a takeaway I won't enjoy

Takeaways are vile. Get cooking yourself.
I loathe Chinese, force myself to eat it about once a year, to see if my tastes have changed, sadly they have not.

Firstly she doesn't want to and secondly I think you mean ask not demand