To not want to eat Chinese - help me to see if I’m being unreasonable

[Watermoves]

My partners favourite take away is Chinese. I’m not keen, I’m vegetarian (raised this way) and just find its bland and boring. I have eaten Chinese but I don’t really like it.

Therefore we often have Indian, Mexican, pizza etc if we have a takeaway all of which he also really likes. I often offer to get him a Chinese or suggest he gets one if I’m working late etc but he always says no.

it come to a head tonight as he wanted a Chinese take away and I didn’t fancy it but suggested I would get something else. He said it’s not the same eating a takeaway alone. I kinda get that, but I would have got myself an Indian. (We would be eating at the table together just different food)

He basically said I should suck it up and eat the Chinese food every so often for him? My rationale is that I shouldn’t have to eat what I don’t want or like?

who is being unreasonable?

Because they’re incredibly unlikely to be delivered at the same time, and one persons food is likely to be growing cold.

Somehow I don't think his argument is logistics based.

I agree with him that it is much nicer to share a takeaway like Chinese or Indian. You get to try a wider range of different dishes

They're my bhunas. If you want a bhuna, order a bhuna, that's why I've ordered two bhunas 🤨

🤣🤣🤣

Joey doesn't share food!

Most delivery services allow you to request a delivery time rather than just “ASAP”. Order at 5, request delivery at 7 (for example). Not foolproof, but why not try it if it’s so vital to eat at the exact same time?

Or maybe whoever’s comes first just eats the starters first while the other is waiting? I’m sure OP could spare her husband a bhaji, or he a spring roll for her - especially if all the pleasure is in sharing as you claim.

The problems you are creating are smaller than the problem of OP’s husband pushing her to eat a cuisine she doesn’t like.

Also I don't believe the OP said they get the food delivered (she didn't say they don't either) but there's every chance they order and pick up the food, in which case you can time that pretty well, also microwaves exist

Find something he doesn’t like to eat and force him to eat it bc you like it. The man is ridiculous. This shouldn’t even come up in a conversation, you don’t like Chinese food, end of conversation.

and of course it's completely impossible to keep food warm or reheat it?
I find most takeaway tastes better reheated the next day anyway.

You're really reaching with your 'community bond' theory - as you literally said yourself they share almost every other evening meal together, not eating the exact same meal at the exact same time three or four times a year out of 365 days is hardly going to make or break their relationship.

How do you think couples working different shift patterns or who socialise frequently with other people or who work away manage to "foster a sense of togetherness" 🙄

The 'restaurant' in this case is their house. They will both be there together, eating food at the same time, at the same table, probably even from matching plates.

But every other meal they share is OPs meal preference, so I don’t think it is unreasonable once in a blue moon he has his preference. People are going on as if she hates Chinese food, whereas what she actually said it she’s not keen on it.

He can have his preference as often as he likes. It's making the OP have it as well that is unreasonable.

And the other takeaways are things they both like. It's not a mirror image situation of the OP making him eat things he doesn't like.

But every other meal they share is OPs meal preference

Because she cooks them!! He could remedy that easily enough!

Well he’s still going to have to cook a veggie option isn’t he. OP prefers her food so cooks it; if he cooks he either has to cook 2 meals or a vegetarian meal. OP always wins

I’m not a big fan of Chinese food (texture issues) but spring onion pancakes, broccoli with garlic and cashews, and egg fried rice or vegetable egg fried rice are fine.

It is the least favourite takeaway of everyone except my husband so we don’t have it often but we do have it from time to time. Because that is fair.

He is the least fussy about food in the house but should still get his favourites

”Always wins”? That’s a funny way to look at respecting your own wife’s vegetarianism.

In any case, why does he have to cook a vegetarian meal? Surely he can cook himself meat and OP can cook herself something?

What the fuck is wrong with him and lots of people here also.

I don't want people to compromise what they eat for me and I definitely will not compromise on what I eat for anyone either.

He sounds controlling tbh and maybe he can fucking cooking his own dinner since he has a problem with your cooking.
But I bet he prefers to just be fed and is a lazy bastard.

He can just cook his own dinner, like an adult and op cooks her own.
What do you mean by winning? How odd.

I don’t think you’re unreasonable to say you could order different things. But I do think you’re a bit closed minded to find all food from a culture “bland and boring”. Really, all of it? How many different dishes have you tried? Maybe you only have v bad takeaways near you.

OP am disappointed you haven’t answered the important questions:

1. Is he like this about sex?

2. Does he have no friends he could eat Chinese with?

It all sounds like he’s a bit of a sentimental fool, floating about with a dreamy fantasy of ‘what family life looks like’ that he wants you to conform to, playing the role of ‘wife of his dreams’. He’s forgotten that he’s with a real person, not a projection of his inner fantasy world.

Urgh, what a needy whining man-child

yup, chinese takeaway every single night

You mean he wouldn’t be sobbing into his chow mein because he wasn’t getting to enjoy it as a “shared experience” with the OP?

I mean OP always gets her food preference if they eat together. He either has the option to cook his own or have what her preference is. Never the food that is his number 1 choice.

Let’s be fair OP hasn’t said she hates Chinese, just that she isn’t keen on it. But he is regularly having food that isn’t his preference to keep her happy.

No ones stopping him have his number 1 choice. The only thing stopping him is his own neediness.